Zootopia: A Raccoon Returns
by Old Goat
Summary: Nick's best friend Jake Runnel returns in a collection of random short tales featuring more adventures of the raccoon & the fox. As the story goes, "The raccoon should not have punched the fox, but if he hadn't they would have never become friends." ***New Chapter: Scout's Honor***
1. Rain!

**Zootopia: A Raccoon Returns**

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 **When I first wrote** ** _Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption_** **, it was going to be a very short story. As the story progressed and it expanded to 54 chapters, I soon felt that there was more than enough material to create several additional stories based around the character named Jake Runnel. My goal was to make an original character who was Nick Wilde's best male friend, with Judy being the fox's wife and the love of his life. As the series began to develop, Nick became a critical part of Jake's life and the catalyst for the raccoon's ultimate redemption. Their story became a love story of sorts, a deep intense friendship or what is now called a bromance.**

 **Thanks to Wet Girl, Nurinaki-kun, Seanwolf520, Sawfly, and Jbid2 for your reviews of my original story, it is encouraging to have feedback about your creations.**

 _I do not own the rights to Zootopia or any of its characters. This story was written solely for the reader's enjoyment and without any profitable purposes. The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this story are fictitious. (Does this legal disclaimer make you happy Mr. Moleinger?)_

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 **Chapter 1: RAIN!**

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"Rain! Rain and here comes more rain!" The raccoon fussed out loud as he stood staring out of the apartment's window at the pouring rain. He was rather handsome for his species and stood just a tad over three feet tall with a slim athletic build, today he was dressed in a dark grey polo shirt and a pair of well starched khaki pants. His fur was trimmed short and he had sparkling brown eyes which peered from inside the telltale almost jet black fur mask of his species. "I'm bored Nick!" he complained to the red fox who was picking at his phone, messaging someone as usual. "What does Bogo have Judy doing today?"

Nick Wilde looked over at this best friend Jake Runnel before he answered. The fox was lazily lounged across the old worn sofa and he used his paw to wipe some crumbs off his blue tee-shirt, which sported a white stenciled police logo on it, before returning to his phone. A pair of old blue jeans that were well worn at the knees, completed the fox's grungy ensemble. "Believe it or not, Old Buffalo Butt has assigned Carrots and Fangmeyer to patrol the east side of the Rainforest District," he finally replied with a chuckle. "As if it isn't storming enough everywhere else in the city today."

The raccoon's eyes swept over the modest apartment, which the fox shared with his wife Judy. The off white walls were decorated with floral prints and the inexpensive cherry wood veneered furniture had come flat packaged from the popular bulk retailer named ITREEA. The room smelled like freshly brewed coffee, something that the fox seemed almost addicted to and a still steaming cup of the brew sat on the table next to the couch. "I'd offer to treat you to a few rounds at the Game Bar if you weren't on call," the raccoon said. He flinched when thunder rumbled outside and then with a grin added, "Have you texted Finn today? That little guy will wash away if this keeps up!"

"He's only half your size," the fox replied with a yawn. "He'll float."

The raccoon looked around the room with a bored expression and then he smiled as he saw the trash can next to the printer by the desk table. Reaching down, he wadded up a sheet of the scrap paper and with precise aim, tossed it at the fox. Nick yelped in surprise and then scowled up at Jake before picking up the paper ball and returning the throw.

Hours later, Judy squished her way down the hallway, she was wet to the bone despite the heavy rubber police issued rain suit she was wearing. She sighed in relief as she unlocked the door to the apartment, her ears shot erect when she heard familiar laughing inside and suddenly a slight crash. Pushing the door open, she stood there in shock as she looked first at the fox and then the raccoon, who was wading through piles of crumpled paper balls past overturned furniture. "Nick Wilde!" she started to protest before she was whacked by a trash ball thrown by the raccoon.

Jake Runnel always claimed that raccoons were not made for running, but he may have set a raccoon world speed record as he frantically ran down the hallway away from the still sopping wet and now very angry bunny.


	2. Darts

**Chapter 2: Darts**

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 **Does Nick have a fragile ego? Think about his interactions with Judy, how he belittles her when they first meet as if he wants to prove his superiority and then tries to slow down her investigation. I view his sarcastic wit as being a coping mechanism, a way to defend himself when he gets into a tight jam or becomes uncomfortable. In** _ **Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption**_ **, Jake discusses Nick with Judy. "** _ **I know Nick has a fragile ego," the raccoon continued. "He covers up his feelings with sarcasm and his wit. Look, he's had a hell of a worse life then I've had. I mean outside of work, his only real friends are you, me, and Finnick. Why do you think I let him win most of the time when we play handball or even darts? It's because he gets so happy when he wins."**_

 **Jake of course also has his own ego problems, including that he always feels he is inadequate and therefore goes out of his way to please others so they will like him.**

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THUNK! The dart missed its target and hit the corner of the board. "YES!" the fox cried out as he pumped his fist into the air and flashed a victory sign. "I won again!"

The black and gray-furred raccoon dressed in a white dress shirt with its sleeves rolled up, along with blue dress suit pants and a red and blue striped tie which was loosened at the neck, just sighed and sat back in his chair as he watched his jubilant friend. "I guess I just choked on that last throw?" he finally said with another sigh. "You win again, I'll buy this round."

"First I have to pee," Nick Wilde said as he turned and walked across the room toward the back of the building. Weaving in and out of the crowd of mostly off duty police officers, the uniformed red fox made his way towards the restrooms. The bar they were in was named the Green Dragon Pub and was what some would call a "Cop Bar" because of its location near the police station. In the evenings, you would often find it was full of off duty police officers relaxing over dinner and drinks after a stressful shift.

"You threw the game!" a lion in dark blue police fatigues rumbled out as he plopped himself on a large chair at the end of the table where the small raccoon was sitting. "You let him win again."

Jake Runnel turned to face Officer Bob Johnson, the large lion was sipping on his beer and had an amused look on his face. "My paw slipped…" the raccoon began to say, but seeing the grin on the large officer's face he just let out another sigh of resignation. "Look Nick is my best friend and he is very competitive, he also had a bad day with another complaint about him being a fox and so if I purposely lose a game or two of darts to make him happy…" he began to explain.

"You're a good pal," the lion muttered as he cut off the raccoon by lifting one of his large paws. "Wilde does have it tough out there, always having to go the extra mile just to prove himself to the public. I don't know how many times we've gotten complaints of a fox impersonating a police officer?"

"It doesn't help that those asshats in Internal Affairs are always poking around, trying to find some little infraction to pin on him," the raccoon added as he nodded at the waitress, the pretty ibex doe nodded back as she began to pour them another pitcher of the dark brown brew.

"IA is always after Wilde and the wolves," the lion shrugged. "It's that idiot Forrester, he hates canids."

"He sure does try to make Nick's life hell," the raccoon growled. "Can't Bogo see that?"

"So how good are you at darts?" the lion suddenly asked as he stood up and walked over to the board where he grabbed a pawful of the pointed projectiles before he returned to the table and handed one to the raccoon.

Jake looked around and seeing that the fox hadn't returned from the bathroom, he glanced over at the dartboard behind him before turning to face the lion again. With a grin, he flung the dart over his shoulder and knew from the lion's gaping mouth that he had struck the bullseye. "I'm really not that good," he lied.

The bar was deathly quiet as the fox stepped out of the bathroom and Nick noticed that everyone was staring at the raccoon with what seemed to be a look of awe on their faces and then suddenly all eyes swiveled towards him. "What?" he asked. Then realizing his zipper was open, he turned to close it and muttered, "Sorry." Awkwardly the conversations resumed as Nick worked his way back towards the table where Jake and Bob were sitting.

"What was that all about?" Nick inquired as he sat down. "Just what did you do now coon?"

"Nothing…" the raccoon began to reply, but the fox just raised his right eyebrow in disbelief. "Nick I have been lying to you… kind of."

"Are you talking about purposely losing to me in darts?" Nick laughed.

"You knew?" Jake asked as he gave a thin smile.

"I caught on pretty quick little buddy," the fox grinned back. "No matter how hard I try to lose, you just get worse."

"So how about another game, no holds barred?" Jake asked as he sipped on his drink.

Bob leaned back and rolled his eyes rolled towards the ceiling as he chuckled, "My money is on the raccoon, fox!"


	3. The Not So Great Hunters

**Chapter 03: The Not So Great Hunters**

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 **Oddly birds seem to play a role in Jake's life, starting with wild pet Bob the blue bird, then the huge golden eagle stalking a fox pup in the Green Mountains, and finally, his son Freddie battling seagulls on a beach to save a little mouse's life. As for Wolford, the timber wolf and his tiger partner Fangmeyer were the two cops who finally arrested the raccoon for burglary.**

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The angry turkey spread his wings as he took off after the smaller raccoon in the green sport short and khaki pants with a vengeance. "Help me!" Jake Runnel screamed as he weaved to avoid the bird's spurs and beak. "Ow!" the raccoon yelled as the beak finally caught his tail. "Damn it fox! Where are you when I need you?"

Alan Wolford looked over at Nick Wilde, who was crouched down on all fours in the tall grass just off the trail. The fox was almost invisible in his camouflaged sweatshirt and pants with only his reddish-orange muzzle showing. _I swear that fox sometimes acts more like a cat than a canid, stalking and pouncing on its prey just like Fang does._ The timber wolf mused. _Hell, he even has partly retractable claws._ He looked up at the raccoon, who was frantically running down the trail as he was being leisurely pecked at by the angry bird. _Well, Jake is only a Class C predator and it shows, I doubt any of his ancestors were dumb enough to go bird hunting without a weapon._

He watched with fascination as the raccoon ran past the crouching fox with the angry bird right behind him. Giving a growl, Nick pounced and clamped his jaws down on the passing bird's throat. The fox was dragged a few feet down the trail before he could grab the turkey's legs with his paws and topple the bird onto its side. Wolford could smell the turkey's blood and it made the timber wolf's hackles rise as he watched the bird vainly struggled in the other predator's jaws before there was a snap of its neck. While the dead bird's still wings flapped, Nick sat back on his hindquarters and licked the blood off of his grinning muzzle.

"It took you long enough bro!" a voice yelled from high in a neighboring tree.

"Hey, how did you get up there so fast?" Wolford called up to the raccoon.

"Fear motivates me every time!" Jake laughed as he looked down at the fox and the wolf. "We coons can't run, but we sure can climb almost as quickly as a squirrel. Especially when being chased by a monster-sized turkey."

"This was an only a young tom," Nick chuckled as he wiped off the last of the blood from his fur with a towel. "Small maybe, but he's going to be tasty once we cook him over the fire."

"Whose bright idea was it to go primitive hunting?" the raccoon complained as he began climbing down the tree's trunk headfirst. "My tail is never going to forgive me."

"Your tail is kind of useless anyway," the fox replied. "All it does is stick out behind you, it barely ever wags or anything useful."

"It gives me my outstanding balance and grace," Jake boasted just before he tripped and stumbled over a root.

"Real graceful coon," Alan laughed.

"I meant to do that!" the now embarrassed raccoon replied as he frowned back at the root.

"Sure coon," Nick laughed. "Come on Wolford, let's haul this guy back to camp."

By the time the carried the bird back to the campsite, it was almost midday. "Well guys I killed him," Nick said with a grin. "That means you two get to clean and pluck him."

"Okkkayyy?" the raccoon replied as he looked down at the now dead turkey. "I'm a city coon and I thought these things only came sliced in microwavable packages or after a phone call to room service, so how do you do that?"

Wolford rolled his eyes at Jake's comments before reaching down to grab the dead gobbler by its neck. "Come on city slicker and I'll show you how," the wolf said with an amused growl.

Nick was lounged on a blanket near the campfire and laughed as he heard the raccoon's protests. They started with "EWWWW!" and were punctuated with "You've got to be kidding me!"

A few moments later he saw his best friend down by the stream trying to wash off the blood and all the feathers which were stuck to his fur. "So how's it going guys?" he called over to the wolf and the raccoon.

"Despite Jake's assistance, the bird is now ready for the fire!" Wolford proclaimed. "Now we just need to stake it over the coals and it should be ready in about three hours."

"Three hours!" both the fox and the raccoon exclaimed.

"Yes, you have to cook it slow if you want it juicy on the insides," the wolf replied as he rubbed salt and pepper on the bird's skin.

Nightfall came and the turkey was finally done, brushing off the coals where Wolford dropped in it the fire, the fox bit into his piece of meat. "Wild turkey is the best," he said with a sarcastic voice as he gnawed on a slice of the bird's scrawny beast.

"Kind of tastes like jerky, except tougher," Wolford sighed before he spit out another chuck of the overcooked meat into the fire.

The raccoon held up one of the turkey legs and peered at it by the firelight before he sniffed the blackened meat. "Have you ever cook one of these before Wolford?" he asked as he sniffed it again and sighed.

"No not really, I grew up in town and we mostly did fishing," the wolf shrugged. "But I watched someone cook one over the fire on Ewe-tube."

"Hey guys, I vote that I go and hunt up my credit card from inside my backpack and that we then hunt for the car. Once we're in the car we can go hunt for that bar a few miles down the road and finally hunt us up a pint or two while eating something edible," Jake suggested while giving his two friends a grin.

That was the best decision they made all weekend.


	4. The Great Happy Town (Almost) Rumble

**Chapter 04: The Great Happy Town (Almost) Rumble**

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 **Jake spent most of his life running away from home, whether it was his pursuit to become more successful in his life than his father was or his disdain of the poverty ridden part of the city he was born in. Ultimately, both he and Nick would both be drawn back to the section of the city called Happy Town and make it their final homes. In their old age, both would become regulars at the Main Street Cafe.  
**

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The café wasn't anything special, but to the residents of Happy Town it was a landmark and even as the town around it sank into economic decay, the Main Street Café survived and served meals to generations of locals. As the town recovered, thanks in part to block grants issued under former Mayor Leo Lionheart's administration, the café remained unchanged. It was so unchanged that the patrons actually joked that they were using the same frying grease since the place first opened, but the food was good and cheap.

For Jake Runnel it was part of his childhood, where his father used to go and meet his friends for breakfast on Saturday mornings and joke about the bad coffee. It wasn't uncommon nowadays for the town's residents to find the raccoon eating breakfast with his best friend Nick Wilde on Friday mornings.

Nick also had a connection with the café, although his father was killed when he was just a toddler, his grandfather used to bring him here for special occasions. Unlike Jake's father, his grandfather used to claim the café had the best coffee in town. However, Nick's grandfather also liked chicory coffee so there was no accounting for his taste and younger fox learned that adding blueberry syrup made the coffee palatable. He would teased the raccoon who somehow managed to drink his coffee black.

It was one of those lazy summer mornings in the city and the café was busy.

"You're my best friend," the young male fox said to the she wolf pup who was sitting next to him in the booth. "When we get older, we're going to get married right?"

"Kent, we're only eight and you might change your mind by the time we grow up," the wolf giggled. "You know we could never have a family?"

"Why not?" the tod asked, it was apparent that he was confused because he cocked his head in that cute canid way.

"We just can't," the wolf pup replied. "My cousin Mark is married to a red fox and they can't have puppies."

"What are you two scamps up too?" an older teenage she wolf asked as she came and sat down across from the young couple.

"Hey sis, why can't a fox and a wolf have pups, if a fox and a coyote can?" the younger wolf cub asked.

"They can't breed," the older wolf replied. "What's this about, last week you both were worried about catching cooties from each other?"

"There's no such thing as cooties, we asked the school nurse!" the younger wolf pub said in an exasperated voice. "I kissed Kent just to prove it to Sarah too!"

"Wait, you did what?" her sister asked. "Karen, you two are a little too young to be making out."

"What's making out?" her sister asked.

"What do you mean breed?" the fox tod asked at almost the same time.

"Ask your father," the now embarrassed teenager chuckled. "That is a father and son conversation."

"Then why did Mark and Betty get married?" the Karen asked. "I mean, why did they get married if they can't have puppies?"

"Because they love each other," the teenager replied. She was obviously becoming greatly amused by the conversation.

"You mean like Officer Nick and Officer Judy?" the fox tod asked. "They can't have puppies."

"They have puppies," the younger wolf giggled. "I see them all the time with puppies, although they look like little raccoons."

"Those are raccoons goofy," the teenager laughed as she reached over and patted her sister between her ears. "Those are Mrs. Runnel's kits."

"Oh, that makes sense," Karen replied. "Manny at school said that a long time ago foxes and wolves used to hate each other, until the coyotes came. Why did we hate each other?"

"That was when daddy was just a pup and some bad guys started a rumor that the foxes were trying to take the mill jobs from the wolves," the teenage wolf replied. "There were a number of fights and then you grandfather and his friends decided to run the foxes out of town, but the foxes wouldn't go. So his gang, the Snappers, got together with a bunch of other gangs and challenged the fox gangs to a fight at the school parking lot."

"Did they fight?" her sister asked as she sat up in excitement. "Wolves are bigger and stronger then foxes."

"Who won?" the tod asked. "Foxes are faster and have claws."

"Well rumor circulated that the foxes had gone to the coyotes, who were just starting to move into town, and asked them for help," the teenage she wolf said as she continued the story. "So your grandfather went to confront the coyote alpha and he said that they would help the wolves instead. The night of the fight, both sides turned up, there was about thirty wolves and just about the same number of foxes. Then the coyotes came, they had called their pack members from as far away as the Canyonlands and there was well over one hundred of them."

She stopped as the waitress, a middle aged coyote, delivered their juices. After thanking the waitress, she continued her story, "So, the coyote alpha walked over to your grandfather and told him that there was a problem, because some of his kin had fox blood in them. He then called for all the coyotes with wolf blood to go over to the wolf gang side of the field and every coyote walked over. The foxes now knew it was going to be a slaughter and their alpha snarled that the coyotes had promised to help them. So, the coyote alpha said for all the coyotes with fox blood to go join the fox gangs and all the coyotes then walked over to that side of the field. "

"Wait, that doesn't make any sense?" the tod asked, his head was cocked sideways again in confusion.

"Hold on and let me finish the story," the teenager chuckled. "So after the coyote alpha walked out between the two groups, both the fox and your grandfather angrily stormed over to him and demanded to know what was going on!"

"What was going on?" her little sister asked, her head too was now cocked sideways in confusion.

"The coyote told them that they couldn't fight the foxes because they were family and they couldn't fight the wolves because they were family. So your grandfather yelled that there had to be some pure blooded coyotes, to which the coyote alpha shook his head no. He then told them both that the First Coyote, Apisi, was the pup of the son of the First Wolf and the daughter of the First Fox. He told him that since they were both kin, he wasn't going let them fight and that they needed to talk instead. It was that night when the coyotes brokered a peace agreement between the wolves and the foxes, we have all been friends ever since."

"So, does that mean that if I marry Kent, we can have coyote puppies?" Karen excitedly said. The tod looked at her excitedly too.

"No!" the teenage she wolf groaned with a panicked look on her muzzle. "I didn't say that!"

"But?" her sister asked.

"The First Wolf and the First Fox are magical," the teenager sighed. "You're not!"

"Nice try sweetie," the waitress chuckled as she brought their orders of fried crickets and eggs.

Two booths over, Jake Runnel and his best friend Nick Wilde had been listening. Both the raccoon and the fox were now laughing.


	5. Boxing a Bunny

**Chapter 5: Boxing a Bunny**

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 **Jake was trained by his college friend Sonya's brother Lee in the Red Panda fighting versions of Varma Kalai** **Adimurai** **, which is a martial arts technique using pressure points to disable an opponent. He also mastered a type of stick fighting called** **Eskrima. Although he would use them to his advantage during his fight with Ronnie Charger, they would fail him in his desperate battle later on against a mercenary named LePew and the skunk's deadly blades.**

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"Jake are you really, really, really sure you want to do this?" Nick Wilde asked the raccoon who was standing with him in the police department's locker room.

"Come on bro and give me some credit!' the raccoon huffed. "After all I did knockout Ronnie Charger and he was one big mean rhino."

"Coon, you surprised him from behind and beat him over his head with a big shovel," Nick replied as he watched the slim raccoon pull a black tee shirt over his grey furry chest. "Judy knocked out a trained police officer in the boxing ring with her bare paws and that rhino was larger than Charger."

"Look worrywart, I was trained in the Red Panda style of Varma kalai by one of the best instructors in Little Amir," the raccoon boasted as he pulled on a pair of boxing gloves. "I used to spar in the in the ring all the time."

"First buddy, pressure point fighting only works when you can hit your target," Nick sighed out as he helped the raccoon tie the laces of his gloves. "Second, those were red pandas and not rabbits. Finally, you haven't fought since you were in collage. Before your…well you know?"

The raccoon's ears drooped because he knew where his best friend was going with this. He hadn't been in a mat fight since his father was killed, the day his life began to fall apart. "Yeah, well you just tell your wife to watch out for me the…ah…Kung Fu Raccoon! I'm a lean mean fighting machine!"

Nick didn't answer, but just shook his head in amusement as he followed the confident contender out of the locker room and towards the boxing ring. At the sight of her opponent, Judy's ears shot up and she gave a mischievous grin. "What took you so long Jake?" she called out. "I was worried you might have run away."

"In your dreams bunny girl!" the raccoon called back. "I promised your husband I wouldn't give you too much of a beat down, I don't want to send you back to the locker room in tears."

"Great now we have to listen to trash talk from a raccoon," someone sarcastically said and Jake looked around to see who it was. "You're next Wolford after I finish with the rascally rabbit!"

"Someone's a little over confident tonight!" the wolf drawled out, his tongue hang out as he chuckled and then he slurped it back into his muzzle. "I hope you already made out your will coon!"

Jake was going to respond, but he felt the fox's paws on his shoulder as Nick bent down to look into his eyes. "Are you really sure you really want to do this?" he asked once again.

"I'll tell you what fox, I'll bet you twenty bucks that I can beat her in three moves," Jake snapped back as he hopped from one foot to the other while he shook his glove covered paws.

"I'm not taking your money buddy," the fox sighed as he tied to pull the padded headgear over the raccoon's ears. "You are going to lose."

"Two to one odds!" the raccoon laughed. "I'm going to take her out like yesterday's trash."

"Here we go again with the raccoon trash talking about trash!" Wolford called out. Everyone laughed at that comment.

The fox shook his head no, but that did not deter Jake. "Three to one…no make it five to one!"

"I hate to take you money, but you are asking for it," Nick finally replied. "But if you insist, it's a bet!"

"It's time for the Kung Fu Raccoon to show you cops how to really fight!" Jake boasted as he walked to the center of the ring with a confident grin.

Around them a group of police officers had gathered to watch the match. Clawhauser stood there and the chubby cheetah gave a worried look at the raccoon as the big cat clutched a first aid kit in his paws. Above him Chief Bogo towered and he had a small smile on his muzzle. The two lions, Johnson and Delgado were excitedly talking to each other. Next to Fangmeyer was the huge rhino McHorn with a bored expression as he looked around.

Nick joined them in the center of the ring, he slipped the mouthpiece into the raccoon's mouth and then into his wife's. "Don't hurt him too much, okay Carrots," the fox whispered to the excited rabbit and she nodded.

"Here are the rules!" Bogo called out. "Not biting, no scratching, no hitting under the belt, and if I ring the bell go back to you respective corners!" Both Judy and Jake nodded their agreement.

"Oh and Jake, no crying!" Fangmeyer called out. The raccoon frowned at the laughter that the tiger's comments drew and then gave him the infamous bras d'honneur gesture with his arms in reply, drawing more laughter.

After touching their gloves, the two opponents backed up and waited for the bell to ding. The bell's tone hadn't even ended before the raccoon leapt forward and took a swing at the smaller rabbit, who easily ducked under the blow. She twisted and seemed to run from the larger raccoon, who stood there looking confused, but the crowd knew what was coming and the fox closed his eyes with a sigh.

Jake didn't even see what hit him, all he saw was Judy bouncing against the ring's rope and then a grey blur which knocked him off his feet.

The raccoon was jolted awoke as something sharp smelling like ammonia or cat pee which had sat around too long in a toilet, was waved under his nose. Blinking and blurred eyed, he panicked when he saw the huge grey snout with a long horn that looked down at him. In his baffled sat of mind, all he could think of was that it was Ronnie Charger returning for his revenge and instinctively Jake struck out with his right first, striking the much large mammal in his left eye. "Was that supposed to hurt coon?" the large mammal asked with an amused tone in his voice.

Jake blinked a couple times more before he realized that it was Officer McHorn looking down at him with concern. "Sorry I thought you were someone else, it's a good thing I didn't have a shovel," he finally muttered as he lifted his paw to gently feel his jaw. "What happened?"

"Carrots knocked you out," Nick replied as he sat down next to him. "Roundabout with the left foot, right across the jaw."

"I so sorry Jake!" the rabbit called out as she slipped between the towering rhino and the fox before she knelt at the raccoon's side. "I didn't mean to kick you so hard, I'm just not used to sparing with someone almost my size." Her paws reached out and lightly touched the raccoon's jaw, but quickly withdrew when Jake winced in pain.

"Well it's not broken," McHorn grunted as he popped open a huge bag of instant ice and after shaking it, put it on the raccoon's jaw. The huge cold bag almost smothered the smaller mammal. "And you're acting like your usual annoying self, so you don't have a concussion."

"Hey!" Jake objected as he pulled the bag from off his face. "I need to breathe too."

"You've got to keep ice on that jaw to keep down the swelling," Nick cut in and pushed the bag back against the raccoon's jaw. "Can you stand?"

"Not with a twenty pound ice pack on my face," the raccoon tried to snicker out as he sat up grimacing at the pain. "Let me up and let's go find something smaller than this iceberg in a bag and then I need a drink."

A few minutes later, Jake had changed back into his regular clothes and was sitting on the locker room bench waiting for Nick to finish changing. Clawhauser had found a bag of frozen green peas in the breakroom refrigerator, which was much more manageable for the raccoon to use on his jaw.

"You know you don't have to pay me the money," Nick said as he sat down next to his dejected friend.

"Nope, a bets a bet and I don't want others saying that I welch on my bets," the raccoon replied as he dug into his pocket and pulled out a roll of cash, peeling off five twenty dollar bills and passing them to the fox.

"Come on and let me buy you a drink, maybe something frozen," the fox sighed as he threw his arm over his best friend's shoulder.

"You think that if I practice really hard, I can challenge Judy in a rematch?" Jake muttered as he held the frozen peas to his throbbing jaw.

"Nope!" the fox laughed. "Never again buddy…never again!"


	6. Thieving Raccoons

**Chapter 06: Thieving Raccoons**

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 **Jake is a master when it comes to opening all kinds of locks, anything from a stout safe to just a pair of police issued pawcuffs. He is also a brilliant former burglar, who applied his great talents in a very mediocre manner. He would later turn those skills into a successful security business that thwarted more than a few of his former colleagues.**

* * *

The slim raccoon in the tight black cotton fatigues cursed as he hung from the rope above the museum's floor, he scanned around him before he shimmed even lower so he could intently study the laser beam that was just inches below his nose. Using his feet to secure his grip on the rope, he reached into his pouch and removed a series of mirrors which he quickly set into place before he seamlessly slid them to divert the laser beams from around the object underneath.

"Well that took you too long," a voice sarcastically called out from the dark. The raccoon scowled as the red fox in the dark blue police uniform stepped out of the shadows, his paw was adjusting his blue tie. "You're losing your touch, coon."

"Hey, what can I say bro?" Jake Runnel replied as he swung on the rope and leapt into the air with a flip, landing on his feet in a dramatic manner as if he was a gymnast in competition. "I'm getting old just like you already are Nick."

"Well does this prove that the museum's security meets your standards?" the large uniformed lion with sergeant stripes asked as he joined the fox.

"Good evening Sergeant Johnson" the raccoon greeted the police officer with a grin. "You know the old saying which goes that you should never count your chickens before they hatch?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" the lion asked. He scowled when he saw the raccoon's smug look as he pointed towards the object inside of the laser beam surrounded display case. Looking back, Sargent Johnson groaned when he saw the joke rubber chicken that was inside. "How…when…how?"

"I did that ten minutes before you and Officer Wilde arrived," Jake answered. "So the answer to your question is no."

The lights came on revealing an angry-looking and very muscular cape buffalo bull standing in the door with his arms crossed. The lights glittered off the four brass stars on each of his blue uniform's shirt collars. "So where is the statue of Kitty Wannabe?" Chief Bogo asked in a very menacing voice. Besides him stood the museum's curator, a nervous-looking ibex buck in a dark tan suit.

"Safe of course!" Jake replied as he looked up towards the museum's ceiling and at the backpack which was dangling above them from a rope.

"You left an irreplaceable ten-thousand-year-old relic hanging from a rope?" the ibex screamed as he stared up at the object in panic.

The raccoon gave a tug on the rope and the pack fell towards the ground as he reached to catch it. His paws missed and the pack fell with a sickening crash onto the marble floor. "Oops!" was all that Jake said.

"Not funny Jake!" Nick sighed in an exasperated voice. "Those are your tools. Have I ever told you that you've got a warped sense of humor? Come on, now show us the statue. "

"Okay…okay…" the raccoon laughed to the fox. "It's in the corner."

Frantically the ibex ran to the statue and carefully picked it up, almost reverently hugging the object. "I don't care if he's one of the best!" the curator cursed. "Get that…that thieving, low life stealing, no good coon out of my museum!"

"But what about the statue's security?" the raccoon asked in a surprised voice. "I have some ideas…"

"GET OUT!" the curator yelled as he stomped his right foot hoof in a fit of anger.

"Come on Jake," Nick called out to his friend as he began to gather the raccoon's gear. "You're finished with this gig."

"No one has a sense of humor anymore," Jake complained as he gave the rope another tug and it fell into a pile onto the floor. "Especially considering that statue isn't even that old!"

"What do you mean?" Bogo asked as he looked over in surprise at the raccoon.

"Didn't you think that if it was real, with this sloppy of security that it wouldn't have been stolen already?" Jake replied. "I was told by a friend, who heard from a friend that the statue is a fake."

"Liar!" the ibex yelled as he cradled it in his arms.

"So if that isn't a fake, why is it not gold like advertised?" Jake challenged the curator. "That statue is gold plated over pig iron."

"It is not!" the ibex snarled.

"Yes it is," the raccoon sighed. "Officer Wilde, could you check the scratch on the base."

Bogo nodded to the fox, who yanked the statue from the ibex's hoofs and held it to the light. "Gold plated alright!" the fox confirmed. "So it is a fake."

"Then where is the original?" the lion asked as he took the statue from the fox and scratched it with his claw.

"There never was one," the raccoon answered as he looked at the panicked ibex. "I've was told that it was all a hustle to start with, just ask the curator."

"I think we will do that," the bull huffed as he glared at the trembling ibex.

The raccoon contently coiled up his rope and shoved it into a duffle bag, he didn't say another word as he followed the fox out of the door and into the museum's lobby. "Why didn't you say something to me about this earlier?" Nick asked in an aggravated tone as he looked back at his best friend.

"Come on bro, _Mister I'm Better Than You Because I'm The Curator_ deserved to be humiliated," Jake shrugged. "Besides, you can also ask him what he did with the real Hopeless Diamond!"

Nick looked at Jake in surprise with his muzzle hanging open. "How do you know that?" the fox finally asked. "Don't tell me you stole the real one?"

"No, but I do know the guy who did and he didn't steal it from the museum," the raccoon answered with a grin. "He took it out of a vault inside of a heavy guarded overseas mansion of a very wealthy businessmammal. So if he burgled the real one somewhere else, then how can it be here?"

The fox just groaned.


	7. The Wannabe Mugger

**Chapter 07: The Wannabe Mugger**

* * *

 **In the story** _ **Zootopia: A Raccoon's Romance**_ **, Jake and his girlfriend Marie are mugged while on a date. Their assailants however recognize that he is a friend of Mister Big's or as they call the raccoon,"** **Big's pet coon" and flee** **. This incident leads to Marie not trusting Jake and the two raccoon's relationship breaking up. Its only Nick's intervention which convinces Marie to give Jake another chance. Thanks to Nick, the two lover's ultimately become husband and wife.  
**

* * *

The knife glittered in the street lamp's glow. It was a wicked looking weapon that was at least a foot long with a nasty dangerous serrated upper blade. "Now, you two pelts just take it real slow as you toss your wallets and phones over here and no one will get hurt, understand?" the nervous looking teenage kudu buck tried to menacingly command the raccoon and fox who were standing before him.

"No!" the raccoon flatly replied as he defiantly crossed his arms and stared back at the larger mammal. The much smaller mammal was slim, with almost a muscular gymnast's build, and was dressed in a red sport shirt with the logo of his favorite sports team on its left pocket. His black slacks were immaculately pressed.

"Jake what are you doing?" the red fox asked as he glanced over at his friend. The vulpine was wearing a dark blue tee shirt with "Red's Bar & Grill" printed on the back of it and a pair of blue jeans. He had wanted to wear his favorite green tropical shirt before they went to the arena to see the big game, but the raccoon made him change after commenting that the shirt was getting too threadbare.

"What do you mean no?" the roebuck asked in surprise.

"Just wait your turn Junior," the raccoon admonished the teenager as he turned to face his companion. "I'm sick and tired of all the stories about folks getting mugged around here. You're a cop, so do something about this and ARREST THIS PUNK!"

"I don't want to, it's my day off and just think of all the paperwork I'll have to fill out if I take him in!" Nick snapped back as he waved a paw in the direction of the mugger. "All for a candy-ass amateur, who can't even hold his knife correctly?"

"What do you mean by that?" the now confused roebuck asked as he held up his knife up and looked at it.

"He said you are holding it wrong," the raccoon answered with a sigh as he turned back towards the mugger with his paw out. "Here, let me show you how to hold it."

Instinctively the taller mammal turned the blade around and handed it handle first to the raccoon who took it from his hoof before slightly stumbling into him. It was then that would be mugger suddenly realized what he had done, but it was too late because the raccoon quickly stepped away from him with the knife. "Oh Shit!" he stuttered out in a panic.

"That's the understatement of the week sport," the fox chuckled as he gave the teenager a smirk. "You're really are not bright enough to be in the mugging business are you?"

"I'd run if I was you," Jake casually commented as he held the knife up. The buck looked at the raccoon and then the fox. "RUN!" Upon hearing the raccoon's shout, the roebuck panicked and ran as fast as he could down the street.

"You know I really should have arrested him," Nick asked as he shook his head before giving the raccoon a smile. "Do you think he will try to do this again?'

"Probably not, he was scared to start with," the raccoon replied with a shrug. "Besides, I think I'll have Kevin go with me when I visit him tomorrow to return his wallet. Muscular seven foot tall polar bears in black suits can be rather intimidating."

Nick rolled his eyes when Jake held out the buck's wallet, "You picked his pocket and got his knife all at the same time, I'm impressed."

"It takes a mammal with great talent, "Jake chuckled as he held the knife up to admire it by the street light. "This is a nice knife… I think I'll keep it."

"Great, now you're stealing from muggers," the fox sarcastically huffed. "Maybe I need to arrest you for doing that."

"Try to explain that bust to Bogo," the raccoon chuckled as he began walking towards the distance subway station.

"What are you going to do with a knife that big?" Nick asked his best friend. "It's nearly as long as you are as tall."

"Cheese knife?" Jake replied as he turned to look back at his friend with a straight face. "For a really…really…big block of cheese."

"You do know that you can't take that on the subway," the fox called out as he rushed to catch up with the raccoon.

"Damn, I guess I'll have to call us a taxi," the raccoon sighed as he twirled the knife with his paw.

"You could call Zoober?" Nick suggested.

"Why would I do that, we both know about half the cabbies in the city?" Jake replied as he handed the knife to the off duty police officer, so he could use his cell phone. "I want that back."

"I don't know, you might cut yourself bubba," the fox laughed as held the knife in front of him.

A flashlight lit up the fox. "ZPD, put down the knife!" a commanding voice called out from behind them.

"It's just us Kowalski!" the raccoon called as he glanced over at the uniformed rhino who was thundering their way.

"Sorry guys!" the large officer called back as he slowed to a walk. "We had a report of a mugger with a really big knife."

"A Knife?" Jake asked as he plucked the knife from the fox's paw. "A big knife, just like this one? Just because I have a really big knife does not mean I'm a mugger does it? Maybe it's the furry mask that's confusing you?"

"Yeah, I mean no!" the rhino answered as he scratched in head in confusion. "Why do you two even have a knife like that?"

"As I was explaining to Officer Wilde, this is my cheese knife," the raccoon answered with a shrug.

"But…" the large officer began only to stop when he saw the fox's face.

"Bob, do you really want to go any further into this with him?" Nick asked with a sigh. "Especially, when he is in this kind of mood?"

"Yeah, he's almost as bad as you are Nick," the rhino laughed as he threw the fox a lazy mock salute. "Forget the whole thing guys and have a good night."


	8. Playing Cops & Robbers

**Chapter 8: Playing Cops & Robbers**

* * *

 **This may not be the Dodgers vs the Red Socks in the World Series, but even the good citizens of Zootopia can enjoy a fun game of baseball.**

* * *

The other team was just one run ahead and Jake Runnel was the last batter to the plate, the handsome raccoon was his team's last chance to possibly score a run, because they already had two outs. The game was into overtime and darkness was threatening it's eventual ending at the unlit makeshift ball field. They were not playing at anything which looked like an official field, but in an old grassy lot that lay in the heart of one of the city's more run down and crime ridden neighborhoods. It was more of an informal exhibition pickup game between some cops and a few ex-convicts. The game drew a mixed crowed of interested observers, most cheering the cons because they were neighbors.

If a white plastic waffle ball full of holes could sizzle across the plate, this one did and with a frown after the umpire behind him called out "STRIKE!", the batter stepped momentarily back from home plate. The grey and black furred raccoon in the dark blue shorts and bright yellow tee shirt stared at the smirking red fox in the dark blue tee shirt, which had POLICE printed on it in white letters, and a pair matching blue shorts.

"What's the matter coon?" the fox standing on the pitcher's mound scoffed as he caught the ball again and bounced it up and down in his paw. "Are you going blind?"

"Is that the best you've got bro?" the raccoon snarled back. "My grandmother throws harder than that!"

"Your grandmother is dead dunderhead!" the fox named Nick sighed.

"Exactly and she is still a better pitcher then you are Wilde!" the raccoon snapped back as he gave his best friend a raccoon version of the infamous foxlike smirk.

"Are you two going to bicker all day?" the fat cheetah at second base called out. The player had his glove on one paw and was chewing on the candy bar he held in his other.

"It's called smack talk Clawhauser," the fox answered with a grin as he gripped the ball and prepared his pitch. He paused as he cast a glance over at the thin possum in the yellow shirt, who was inching away from the first base plate. Turning, Nick threw the ball to the grey and black timber wolf by the plate. "Almost had him this time, Wolford!" the fox growled.

"I'm getting bored!" the raccoon at home base complained as he made a few practice swings.

"You're going down, Jake!" Nick snapped back as he caught the ball in his paw again. Winding up, he threw a curve ball.

Jake's swing was perfectly timed and his bat cracked…okay, thunked…as it hit the plastic ball and sent it soaring over the fox's head and deep into the grassy field beyond.

"That's a home run for sure!" someone called out as the crowd cheered. The fox just stood on the pitcher mound with his ears flat and his tail tucked under his feet with disappointment as he watched the ball disappear into the darkening sky.

A swift grey furred rabbit doe rushed across the field towards a large tiger in a blue shirt and leapt onto the larger feline's shoulders, before she propelled herself high into the air and snagged the ball with her paws. As she came down, the grinning tiger snatched her in his paws before Judy hit the ground.

"You're out!" the umpire called as the raccoon stood between the home and first base with his muzzle open, gaping in disbelief. "Cops win!"


	9. The Dark Room (A Halloween Story)

**Chapter 9: The Dark Room (A Halloween Story)**

* * *

 **Jake has always had some elements of the supernatural which weaved their way throughout his life. There was the lesser god** **Azeban, who the coyotes call the First Raccoon, and even the evil snake god** **Ouroboros, who was trying to claim his soul.**

 **Nick takes Jake to see something special in an old creepy house.**

* * *

The slim raccoon in the white polo shirt and well starched khaki pants stared out of the car window as the large black and white police cruiser bumped along the well rutted gravel road. "What's the matter?" the red fox in the dark blue police uniform asked as the SUV bounced into another muddy pothole. "You look a bit uncomfortable."

"Oh, it's nothing much," the raccoon named Jake Runnel grumbled back to the fox as he gave his best friend a raccoon version of the infamous fox smirk. "I'm just not used to being the front seat of one of these. I've always been in the back with my paws cuffed."

"Don't lie to me ringtail," the fox named Nick Wilde scoffed. "Everyone on the force knows that they can't keep you pawcuffed very long coon. Remember last year when that salesmammal came to the police station and was boasting about his company's new state of the art cuffs? Even Bogo smiled slightly because you had them off before he finished his speech."

"As I recall, you had a bet with both Officer Snarloff and also Officer Anderson that I couldn't get them off," the raccoon chuckled.

"No, we all thought that you could pick them. My bet was on how long it would take you," Nick corrected him. "I made forty bucks that day."

"Okay, I did that just for fun, but you guys do know I don't work for the cops?" the raccoon snickered. "So what does Bogo want me to do?"

"It's not Bogo this time buddy," Nick replied as he pulled the cruiser into the front yard of a creepy looking, boarded up house. The roof had partly collapsed and the windows were all broken, the paint was peeling off the wooden planks. "I wanted you to see this before the boys blew it up or something."

"What is it?" Jake asked as he sat up, trying not to show too much interest. The fox knew the raccoon too well and was aware that his friend was excited.

"You'll see," the fox answered with a snicker as he hopped out of the cruiser and turned on a flashlight, he led the raccoon into the dark house and down a dark hallway. Light grey spider webs hung from the tattered and dingy wall papered walls, giving the place a spooky look. Pushing the door at the end of the hallway open, he flashed the light into the room behind to reveal a stairwell of rotting planks leading down into the total darkness below.

"This looks like someplace from a cheap horror film, you know where the innocent handsome raccoon hero is being led to his doom by an evil red fox," Jake laughed out. "If you kill me, I swear that I will come back and haunt your tail bro!"

"The words INNOCENT and JAKE RUNNEL don't go together," Nick also laughed as he gingerly descended into the darkness. "You're going to love this, just consider it an early birthday present."

"My birthday was earlier this month," Jake scoffed as he carefully followed the fox down the stairs. "You do know that I'm going to be profoundly disappointed if there isn't a room full of playbunnies in tights at the end of this trek."

"I don't think you are going to be too disappointed," the fox cryptically replied with a smirk. Before them was a hole busted through the basement wall which led to a dark damp tunnel beyond. Nick paused at the opening and held the flashlight under his face as he gave a demonic looking grin. "Do you know whose house we are in?"

"How would I know?" the raccoon replied as he ran his paw along the side walls of the opening. "Some giant mutant mole's place?"

"Nope, it belongs to Jerry Dammer," Nick replied as he stood in front of the door. "You know, the bobcat who was a mass murder? He kitnapped mice and ate them for breakfast in milk he got from a mare he had chained to the kitchen wall."

"So he was a cereal killer?" Jake laughed out. He then grinned at the fox, who rolled his eyes. "You know CEREAL…not SERIAL…mice for breakfast…got it?"

"Yeah, I got it and it wasn't all that funny when I told it to the other officers earlier!" the fox sighed as they made their way deeper into the tunnel. A large oak door was before them, with light peeking out from under it. "Now prepare yourself buddy."

"Is this room going to be full of mice bones?' the raccoon asked with curiosity as the fox began to push open the weathered door.

"Nope!" the fox laughed as he saw the raccoon's mouth drop in amazement at what was revealed within. "Something that's even better!"

"Oh…my…GOOD GODS!" the Jake muttered as he rushed forward and lovingly put his paws on the object before him. "Those idiots wanted to blow this up!"

"It's about time you two got here!" a voice called out from the darkness and Jake turned to see Detective Fangmeyer step towards them from where he was sitting. The tall muscular tiger in the blue suit, frowned down at the two smaller mammals. "This place is creepy when you're stuck down here alone. The locals found this when they were trying to drill a well for the house they are building next door, punched a hole in the roof." The raccoon looked up at the small hole which the tiger was pointing up towards. "Wilde insisted that we didn't drill or blow this open until you saw it."

The raccoon still lovingly stroked the stout black cast iron antique safe, with its electroplated gold decorations. "Don't let them get their grimy paws on this baby!" he practically yelled. "This is an 1898 Dialtech home deposit vault, there is only one other of these still existing in good condition…its priceless to collectors."

"So do you think you can…" Nick began to ask before he saw that the raccoon was already kneeling with his right ear close to where his paw was gingerly working the lock. It took less than an hour before there was an audible click.

"Wait!" the tiger called out before the raccoon pulled the handle down. "We don't know what is inside and this can still be considered a crime scene."

With a disappointed frown, Jake stepped back to allow the detective, who had donned a pair of plastic gloves, to slowly open the safe's door. He and Nick peered over the tiger's shoulder as it opened.

"That figures!" the fox sighed as they looked into the empty safe. "All that for nothing?"

"Can I get the safe as compensation for my services?" Jake asked. The fox's tail swatted him on his back as an answer.

"Well that was melodramatic!" Fangmeyer groaned as he sat back on his haunches. He looked over to see that the raccoon had picked up his bottle of water and seemed to be washing his paws. "That was my drinking water coon."

Jake pushed his way in front of the tiger and fox, and looking up at the ceiling, he began to feel around inside. "My paws are more sensitive when wet," he explained. "So let's see what I can feel…ah, there is a false bottom!" He tried to grasp the plate, but did not have the strength to grip it tight enough.

With a grunt the tiger lifted the heavy iron plate high enough for the raccoon slip his paws under it and pull out a large envelope. "I can't believe he kept this!" Jake exclaimed as he looked at the documents inside.

"Is it his confession?" Nick asked as he reached to grab the papers from the raccoon's paws.

"No, it's the safe's invoice!" the raccoon answered.

"You two know they say that the old coot's ghost now haunts this place," Fangmeyer said with a grin. "He cursed any and all who investigated his murders before he died in the penitentiary." Just then all three mammals heard creaking and thumping from down the tunnel.

"What was that?" Jake asked, his ears were lying flat and his tail bristled.

"I don't know? You and Nick go find out," the tiger quietly said as they heard someone or something approaching.

"Why me?" Nick stuttered out. "You got seniority."

"Don't look at me, I'm just a civilian," the raccoon added. "You two are supposed to serve and protect me…right?"

"Fox you're a patrol officer…go patrol!" the tiger said as he pushed Nick toward the door.

Hesitantly the fox reached for the door knob, but he quickly jumped back when he felt it slightly turn. Drawing his tranquilizer gun, he aimed as he yanked the door open and yipped in surprise at the white figure standing in the hallway. The gun went off, sending the dart flying up the air and missing the equally surprised uniformed polar bear standing in front of him. "Damn Fangmeyer, I brought you your coffee!" Officer Grizzoli growled out.

The three other mammals didn't respond but instead just stared in disbelief at the misty feline looking shadow which slowly disappeared from behind the large officer.


	10. Nick Hates Ghosts (A Halloween Story)

**Chapter 10: Nick Hates Ghosts**

* * *

 **Nick tells Jake a ghost story.**

* * *

"I hate Halloween!" The fox in the back sport shirt complained as he looked back into the hotel suite room where his best friend now lived ever since he saved Mister Big's life.

"What is there to hate about Halloween?" the raccoon in the red oxford shirt scoffed as he handed the fox a mug of steaming tea. "Children dress up for trick-or-treating, tell ghost stories, go to parties, and do all other kinds of spooky fun things!"

"It's not so fun for us cops," the fox named Nick Wilde said as he sipped the tea. "Honey Bush tea, you're missing her aren't you?"

"Yeah, I can't believe she's gone back to her homeland," Jake sighed as he sipped his mug. "Diamonds was one of a kind. If she had been a raccoon and not a cape jackal, I would have asked her to marry me."

"I still don't know why you didn't?" the fox sighed as he put a paw upon his best friend's shoulder. The raccoon looked out over the balcony. The fall chill was in the air, the trees beyond the five star hotel's courtyard had changed to scarlet red and yellow.

"We both want kits of our own," Jake answered in a sad tone. "I know that you and Judy have talked about adopting, but…" His voice trailed off as he looked inside the room and saw the grey furred bunny setting out the evening snacks.

"It's okay buddy," the fox finished for him. "So what are you doing tomorrow night, while Carrots and I are chasing ghosts and vandals?"

"I told Meredith that I would take her to the Prytime Haunted House and then to the costume party at the Red Pony Club," the raccoon replied with a shrug.

"A haunted house and then a party at a strip club with a prostitute," Nick laughed. "That is so…Jake! Let me guess, you're going to dress as an astronaut?"

"Har…har…Not funny fox!" Jake snickered. "First, Meredith is one of my oldest friends, even though she is what I rather call an entertainment specialist. Second, the last time I dressed like an astronaut, I was eight years old and had to be rescued out of a trash bin by a certain cynical sixteen year old fox."

"The bullies who threw you in there were jerks!" the fox chuckled. "But if those same jerks hadn't muzzled me the night I tried to join scouts, I would never have run away from home and become the fox I am today."

"That would be a no good former street hustler, who a certain rabbit had to save from a life of petty crime," the raccoon snickered as he playfully elbowed his friend. "Now you're all grown up and a cop, a grumpy old cop who hates Halloween."

"Okay, it is kind of fun to see all the kits in their costumes excitedly running around trick-or-treating," the fox admitted. "Just as long as the dead stay dead all night."

The raccoon stopped sipping his tea and looked over at his friend, "What do you mean by that bro?"

"It's nothing," Nick replied as he turned to watch his wife chop and mix a bowl of fresh guacamole. "Maybe I should help Judy?"

"You aren't going anywhere fox, not until you tell me what you meant by the dead staying dead!" the raccoon snapped as he grabbed the fox's arm to stop him from walking away.

"Well it's just something that happened back when I was a rookie," Nick sighed. "Carrots was at a training session and I…well I pissed Bogo off again."

"That's not unusual," the raccoon observed.

"So to punish me, he put me and Wolford on the graveyard shift…you know the late night patrol," the fox continued.

"Why was he punishing the poor wolf, what did you two do?" Jake asked his friend in a skeptical manner as he looked back out into the courtyard. "Wolford is almost as bad as you are with the practical jokes, hell it must be a canid thing."

"Let's just say, sneezing powder and rhino's do not make a good mix," the fox shrugged with a grin. "Anyways we get a call from dispatch that there was a 10…" he noticed his friend's look. "Sorry forgot you're just a civilian, I mean a domestic disturbance at this creepy old house on Sutter's Lane. We get there and this place looks like something from a horror movie, old weather beaten boards and broken windows, tall grass. We are thinking that Bogo is playing a joke on us, but we grab our gear and march up to the front door to knock."

"Let me guess a vampire answered the door," the raccoon snickered. "Or the boogie monster?"

"Noooo," the fox sighed. "It was a kindly old, I mean really elderly, bobcat and she was holding an old fashioned oil lamp. We introduced ourselves and she told us that someone kept stomping around upstairs and she was afraid it was a burglar. We entered the house and it was much nicer inside than outside. The place was kind of decorated like would think your grandma would live in…you know with the turn of the century wallpaper, thick oriental rugs, and antiques. I go upstairs and look around and there isn't anyone up there. So we tell her everything is fine and leave."

"That's the whole story?" Jake dramatically yawned. "Sounds like a normal night for a cop."

"No, we leave and she calls 911 again, so back we go," Nick shook his head. "Three times we went back and looked around, now we are getting pissed and I'm thinking that his lady is losing her mind. By the time we left after the third call, it was early in the morning and we decide to go over to the nearby Snarlbucks to get some coffee. We were expecting another call back, but it didn't come, so I suggested that we swing by the place before we head back to the station. By now the sun is rising and it is just starting to get light, we pull up to the place and it looks the same. I hop out to look around to make sure she had locked everything up, but as I get to the front door…"

The raccoon looked over at the fox in agitation as he watched his friend sip his tea. "What did you find?"

"Nothing!" the fox stated as he looked his friend in his eyes.

"What do you mean by nothing?" Jake asked, his eyes were wide and his tail bristled.

"I mean nothing," the fox replied as he shook his head again. "The door was broken and off its hinges, we went inside and the place was empty. It looked to have been abandoned for years, the wall paper was all peeled and there was no furniture in the whole damn place. Wolford called dispatch who confirmed that it was the right address and with the times he got the calls. We knew that such a phone call was impossible because the phone line was broken and fallen on the ground by the side of the house. Now I am pissed and I go down the road to pound on the neighbor's door, let me tell you that the hog who answered wasn't too pleased that I woke him up so early. He looked at me and Wolford and then the house, before he told us that the place had been empty since the Widow Catamine had been murdered by a burglar in the house ten years ago!"

"Tell me you're kidding me!" the raccoon stuttered out. "She was a ghost?"

"That's all she could have been," Nick replied. "Wolford and I won't even go on that street again. Hey, it looks like Carrots has got the snacks ready for us to watch our scary movie!" The fox left the raccoon standing on the small balcony as he went into the kitchen.

"You told him the haunted house story?" Judy whispered. "Do you think he fell for it?"

"You know Jake," the fox snickered as he gave her a smirk. "Fell for it hook, line, and sinker."

* * *

 **For another sweet Halloween Story about a younger Nick and Jake, please read** _ **Zootopia: A Raccoon's Rescue.**_

 **I also have an unrelated Nick and Judy supernatural thriller, which I wrote last year for the holiday, called** _ **Tails from the Darkside**_ **.**


	11. The Baobhan Sith (A Halloween Story)

**Chapter 11: The Baobhan Sith (A Halloween Story)**

* * *

 **Jake is told a ghost story by his close friend, a Highland Wildcat named Meredith. This short tale follows the tradition of the ancient Celtic holiday of** ** **Samhain, a night when the veil which separates this world and the "Otherworld " has weakened and those who are dead return. So set a glass of whisky and some food out to placate those spirits who will visit tonight after the children finish trick-or-treating. Oh, don't forget to keep your Jack-o-lantern brightly lit to scare away the evil ones who stalk the dark night!** **

* * *

"That had to be the worst movie ever!" the thin raccoon in a dark green polo shirt and jeans complained as he held the door for his date, a curvy highland wildcat who was dressed in a low cut white blouse and tight blue shorts. "I can't believe that I wasted my money on it!"

"I bloody well warned ye Jakie," the cat drawled out in a heavy brogue. "One of my regular…ah one o' my customers…told me aboot it last week."

"Meredith, it's your night off, do you have to talk about working as an entertainment specialist?" the raccoon named Jake groaned. "But I guess a movie about vampire cats fighting feral wolves wasn't a good plot idea to start with."

"Why dinna ye call me what I am laddie, a prostitute?" she giggled. "As for vampires, there's a wee story from the auld country aboot vampires."

"Enlighten me, my bonnie lass!" the raccoon said in a mocking imitation of her accent. He was rewarded with an elbow in his side. "Okay, sorry sweetheart and as for what you are, you're my friend."

"Ach, do want me to tell ye the bloody story or not?" the cat happily purred before leaning up and kissing his cheek.

The raccoon put his arm over her shoulder and pulled her closer as they walked towards the bus stop. Overhead, the moon shone brightly in the chilly sky and the fallen leaves crunched under their feet. "Noo we call them the baobhan sith, they are blood drinkers," she explained. "They always appear as lasses attractive to the ones they are hunting and kin also change into crows."

"So if I come across a female raccoon in the dark mountains of the highlands, where raccoons are usually not found, I should stake her with a silver spike or something?" Jake mused.

"Iron laddie, not silver," Meredith replied. "Like the wee folk or fairies, its iron that hurts them."

"Okay, so iron it is," he chuckled. "You highlanders are too cheap for silver anyways." He was rewarded with another elbow. "Hey that was my kidney!"

"I happened a lang time ago, deep in the heilands," she began her story as they paused and took a seat on a park bench. The wildcat pushed herself against the raccoon for warmth as they watched as the puffy night clouds slowly moved across the brightness of the full moon. "Three bonnie lads were returning from a dove hunt and had spent the night in an old rundown shieling in a remove glen…"

"What's a shieling?" the raccoon suddenly asked.

"Aye, tis a stone cabin that we build for travelers to sleep in as they go tay and hither," she replied as she put a claw upon his muzzle to silence him. "The three laddies were lonely and as they sat around the fire, two of them wished that their bonnie sweethearts were there tay give them comfort on such a cold night. The third older lad was merrit and told them both he was glad his wife wasn't there, because she was due with another litter. Low and behold, their sweethearts did appear, explaining that they were lonely and had come looking for them as they returned."

"That was convenient…" Jake began, but the cat put her paw on his muzzle to clamp it shut.

"Ye talk too much, now hush!" Meredith commanded. "So as things became a little more intimate between his companions and their sweethearts, the older lad took his blanket ootside to leave the lovers tay their privacy. He pulled his blanket over him and curled up in the dark as he heard the sounds of…ah…aye, romance inside if ya kin what I mean?"

"Ah kin what ye mean," the raccoon snickered as he once again made fun of her accent.

"Aye, that's the closest ye getting to romance tonight if ye keep that up laddie," she huffed.

"Sorry, I'll behave," he chuckled as his paw reached over and stroked her tail, causing her to purr.

"Stop that!" she huskily hissed. "Noo back to the story! After a while everything got suddenly quiet, ay too quiet, and then his ears flicked when he heard gurgling and sucking sounds. Slowly he pushed open to peek inside and what he saw horrified him!"

"What did he find?" the raccoon asked as he sat up.

"Two old hags draining the blood o' his noo ded friends," she replied. "He grabbed up a burning stick from the fire and slammed the door behind him. Then he set fire to the building before he ran off into the night. The next day he returned with his kin folk, but all they found was the burnt bodies o' his friends. But there wasn't an ounce o' blood in them!"

"Spooky," Jake chuckled. "Hey what time is it?" he asked as he dug around for his cell phone. He found it, but it was turned off.

"Tis a bonnie night," the cat said as she snuggled closer to the raccoon. He smiled as he could feel her warm breath near his ear.

"There we go, its midnight!" he triumphantly said after he turned his phone back on. "I got a few texts from Nick. Oh and here's one you sent me earlier tonight! Hey, it says that you have to work and can't go to the movies?" He pushed himself slightly away from the sexy cat and turned to see that she was smiling at him. She opened her mouth and her teeth were unnaturally long as she grabbed at his throat.

* * *

"Ghhhhh!" Jake screamed as he fell out of the chair with a thump. He looked up with wide eyes only to see his best friend Nick. The red fox was curled upon the sofa with his wife Judy.

"Shhh!" Judy called out. "You fell asleep and missed the best part of the horror movie!"

* * *

 **For another holiday story told by a much older Meredith, please read** _ **Zootopia**_ ** _Short Stories: A Raven's Kittens_** **-** **The highland wildcat tries to tell the Jake's two sons and Nick an old tale for the holidays, but have you ever tried telling a story to two inquisitive seven year old raccoons and a rambunctious fox?**


	12. Election Blues

**Chapter 12: Election Blues**

* * *

 **Nick isn't happy with the outcome of the city's election and takes it out on Jake, with the usual results.  
**

* * *

Nick reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys, but before he could unlock his apartment's dead bolt, a familiar voice called out from inside. "It's unlocked!" Pushing the door open, the fox stared at the thin raccoon in a red sport shirt and well starched khaki pants, who was lazily lounging on his sofa watching television. "You're late or I was early, either way I let myself inside to wait," Jake Runnel added with a smirk.

"I don't remember giving you a key to the place?" the fox asked.

"You think that an apartment door lock, an off the shelf deadbolt, and a cheap alarm system would keep a former burglar as talented as me out?" the raccoon snickered until he saw the look the fox gave him. "I mean, I let myself in…was that okay?"

"I can't believe that they reelected Swinton as mayor again!" Nick growled as he ignored his friend's question and angrily tossed his police hat onto the sofa, before he plopped down next to it with a disgusted grunt. "Then Bogo picks me to provide security at her big reelection party last night, while Carrots got to a do a stake out with Frangmeyer and on top of that, he still expected me to work traffic this morning!"

"Life moves on fox!" the raccoon sighed as he turned off the television and leaned back with a small smile as he clasped his paws behind his head. "You're now a cop and not a hustler, you go when and where Chief Bogo tells you."

"That still doesn't make me happy," Nick huffed out as he unbuckled this gun belt and tossed it on the nearby table before he pulled his blue uniform tie off. He vigorously scratched the reddish orange fur around his neck before he continued, "It was a close vote too, just a few hundred difference this time, and I'll bet she cheated! I just can't believe that not everyone votes! Can you believe that only sixty-seven percent of the eligible voters actually went to the polls?" The fox didn't wait for the raccoon to answer his questions, before he added, "You did vote, right?"

"No Nick!" the raccoon tried to interrupt the fox, who was now standing up.

"Every citizen should vote!" the fox began to lecture his best friend. "You only get the government you deserve if you vote! You're a responsible mammal, I can't believe you didn't even bother to take the time to do your civic duty!"

"Nick, I…" the raccoon tried to unsuccessfully interrupt his friend's ongoing tangent.

"Sometimes, I think you are the most self-centered person around!" Nick snapped at him. "You own your own business and yet you sit there and tell me you didn't vote. I can't believe you didn't do so! What have you to say for yourself ringtail?"

"Now calm down Nick and stop giving me a lecture," the raccoon calmly began to reply, but he frowned when the fox threw his paws into the air in apparent disgust.

"Lecture, I'm not giving you a lecture!" Nick interrupted. "Just give me just one good reason why you didn't get off you lazy butt and vote?"

"They don't let felons on probation vote!" a familiar female voice answered the fox's question from the doorway. "I could hear you yelling all the way down the hallway Nick!"

The fox's ears went flat and he looked first at his wife Judy, and the his best friend Jake in surprise before muttering out in an embarrassed tone, "Sorry buddy, I knew that and just forgot."

"It's okay Nick," Jack sighed as he adjusted himself more comfortably on the sofa's cushions. "I knew that was part of the punishment before I even committed the crime. To be honest, I have never voted a day in my life. In college I was always too busy and voting wasn't a big priority over studying. Later after my pop died and I was living on the streets, well let's just say for the kind of folks on River Street, that voting is not a big priority. The prostitutes, drug addicts, homeless, and criminals I lived with really didn't care who sat in the mayor's seat, they only cared about where their next meal was coming from and trying to avoid you cops."

"Again, I'm sorry that I yelled at you," Nick sighed as he sat back down of the sofa again. He watched as Judy pulled off her gun belt and tactical gear, placing them along with his gun belt and tie in the bedroom on their bed. "I was just hoping we might get new leadership, someone who does more than lip service about caring for us cops."

"Yeah, I know…" Jake replied as he picked up the remote control and began to fiddle with the television's settings.

"What are you doing?" the fox asked as he watched the raccoon for a few moments.

"Channel blocking ZNN and all the other news channels," the raccoon snickered. "You watch too many of those political talk shows."

"Hey!" Nick yelled as he pounced towards the raccoon, trying to grab the remote from his paws.

Judy watched the two grown mammals as they wrestled around on the sofa, each trying to get control of the remote control. "Sometimes these two are like little children," she fondly sighed to herself. "Overgrown children!"


	13. Election Blues II

**Chapter 13: Election Blues II**

* * *

 **A judge in Texas really did something just like this earlier in the week after he lost his bid for reelection.**

* * *

BLAM! The fox in the blue police uniform slammed his paw down hard on the table top, making the raccoon in the dark grey suit jump in surprise. "It still upsets me that he did that!" Nick growled in anger. "You just can't do that!"

"Who can't do what?" Jake sighed as he wiped up the water with several napkins. The glass in front of him had fallen over when the fox had hit the table.

"Hey Wilde!" a voice bellowed from the back of the diner and both the raccoon and fox looked up at the huge walrus in a cooks apron. "I don't care if you're a cop or not fox, don't beat on my table!"

"Sorry Al," the fox replied. "I shouldn't have lost my cool."

"Yeah…yeah…yeah!" the big walrus replied as the waved a fin around. "You aren't the first one in here today who is pissed with Judge Hornsby. "Bogo came in about an hour ago and man can that bull can get mad."

"Okay, would someone mind telling me what is going on?" Jake asked as he hopped off the bench and tossed a pawful of wet napkins into the trash behind the counter.

"You ain't heard coon?" Al laughed as he looked out over the counter. "Old Judge Hornsby lost his reelection, so he just let everyone one of those damned juvenile delinquents waiting trail today in the courtroom walk free."

"You're kidding?" the raccoon replied as he scooped ice into his glass and refilled his water before walking back to the table he was sharing with Nick. "Crap, I wished I had a judge like that when I was standing up there on trail for burglary."

"He asked them if they were sorry and then told them all to go home," Nick grumbled. "Hell, half of them probably have already been arrested for something else."

"You know Jake this isn't a self-service diner sweetie," a middle aged white tail deer doe called out from where she was sitting, she was lazily reading a magazine. "I would have given you some more water, if you had asked."

"You looked busy Sarah," Jake replied as he sat down and then he lifted the glass in a mock salute to her before he took a sip.

"Raccoons!" the doe chuckled. "You want to take out the trash next?"

"Ooh, stereotyping jokes!" Nick snickered. "Someone forgot who was leaving her a tip?"

"You know you love me," the doe said sweetly with a smile as she blew him a kiss.

The raccoon stuck out his tongue and gave her a raspberry.

"Real mature Ringtail," Nick sighed as he shook his head in disbelief before he picked at this tuna fish sandwich.

"So what's going to happen to the judge?" Jake asked he picked up his egg salad sandwich. "Surely he committed some kind of crime or at least broke some judicial code?" The raccoon took a bite from the sandwich and began to chew as he looked across the table at the fox.

"Nothing that I know of," the fox replied with a shrug. "You should have heard the district attorney. I never thought a woodchuck knew such foul language?"

"And here I thought she was such a lady," Jake mumbled as he took another bite.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," the fox admonished him.

"Okay MOM," Jake dryly replied as he rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. "So where is Judy today?"

"I had court and so, well you know Bogo…" Nick began.

"No, let me guess!" Jake interjected before the fox could finish his answer. "Parking duty?"

"Bingo!" Nick laughed.

"Hey Nick!" Sarah called out to the fox as she stood up and was looked out the diner's window. "Was one of those delinquents a hyena with a purple fur?"

"Yeah, why?" the fox asked as he stood up and looked out the window too.

"He just spray-painted a real naughty word on the side of your police cruiser!" the doe said as she sat down and picked up her magazine again.

"Son of a…" Nick yelled as he ran out of the diner and down the sidewalk after the teenage hyena.

"Do you think you should help him?" Al called out to the raccoon, who had returned to eating his sandwich. "He is your best friend and that punk is larger than the fox."

"Naw, he has too good of a lead on Nick and you know us coons can't run," Jake replied as he finished his sandwich. "Besides, Nick will have to come back for the car."

"You really are his friend, right?" the walrus chuckled as he shook his head.

Sure enough, Nick returned about ten minutes later empty pawed. He paced and cursed as he walked back and forth looking at the side of the cruiser. Finally he came back in and with a huff sat down. "I almost had him!" the fox groaned.

"No, you didn't!" Sarah said as she looked up from her magazine. "You weren't even close."

"Bogo's going to kill me!" the fox said as he threw her an aggravated look, before he growled as he ran his paws through his fur. "I'll be on parking duty for the next ten years!"

"No you won't," Jake laughed. "It wasn't your fault."

"Try to tell Old Buffalo-Butt that!" Nick groaned.

"You know what you should do at a time like this?" the raccoon asked with a grin.

"WHAT!" Nick snapped.

"Have a slice of pie!" Jake snickered as Sarah slid two plates of cherry pie and ice cream in front of the raccoon and fox. "Pie makes everything better."

The fox looked at the pie and then the cruiser, before picking up his fork. "Well, it can't make anything any worse," he mumbled as he chewed a mouthful of the cherry goodness.


	14. Flim-Flam Finn

**Chapter 14: Flim-Flam Finn**

* * *

 **A Flim- Flam is to swindle someone with a confidence game.**

 **Jake is a former burglar who is now a security consultant and Nick is a former hustler who is now a police office, so both are now the bane to their former colleagues. However, that does not stop Nick's old partner in crime and friend Finnick from being …well, good old Finn.**

* * *

"WAIT, you did what?" the handsome red fox in the blue police officer uniform exclaimed as he passed a Styrofoam cup full of herbal tea to his partner, a grey furred female rabbit dressed in a light blue tactical shirt with dark blue chest armor. He wasn't yelling at the rabbit, but at the raccoon standing behind her. "I pulled the same scam on you years ago and you decked me for it later."

The raccoon in the blue pinstriped suit and white dress shirt adjust his red and blue checkered tie, before he picked up and sipped from his cup of coffee. "It's not the same bro," Jake replied as he gave the fox a shrug of his shoulders.

"What do you mean by that?" Nick huffed out as he poured some blueberry sweetener into his cup. His partner just shook her head as she walked towards a table in the corner the mall's food court.

"First, I brought up that you had once ripped me off when Finn asked me for the cash," the raccoon answered. "Second, he assured me that it was not the same, that you screwed up the investment back then and he gave me the title for his van as collateral."

The rabbit hopped off her chair and snatched the paper from the raccoon's paw, before sitting down again while she began to look it over.

"Look ringtail, I didn't invest your two hundred bucks," the fox sighed out in frustration. "It was a hustle! I took it and spent it on myself."

"Hey Jake, this isn't the title for Finn's van!" Judy interjected. "It isn't even in Finn's name?"

"Huh, I guess I should have read it before I gave him the money?" the raccoon nonchalantly replied as he was looking over the rabbit's shoulder at where she was pointing.

"I'll call Finn and tell him to give you back your cash!" Nick growled as he fumbled for his personal phone. "He should know better than to pull a hustle on a friend. Just how much did you give him?"

"An even one thousand," the raccoon calmly answered as he returned to sipping his coffee. "He told me he could double it."

"Wait you only gave me two hundred!" Nick said in disbelief as he looked over at Jake. "TWO HUNDRED and you punched me in the muzzle for stealing it."

"Punching a cop wasn't one of my brightest ideas," Jake replied as he sat down next to Judy at the table. "But you deserved it and I didn't have as much money back then." Putting his arm over the rabbit, he hugged her before adding, "Besides if I hadn't punched you, than Judy would not have arrested me and we wouldn't have become best friends."

"If you punched Nick over two hundred, I hate to think what you're going to do to Finn over a thousand?" Judy asked as she looked at Jake with concern.

"I wouldn't hit Finn! He's too little and…cute!" the raccoon scoffed. "Besides it was only a thousand bucks, I have plenty more cash."

"You're not rich enough to keep throwing your hard earned money away like that Jake," the rabbit admonished him.

"Yeah…yeah…yeah, Finn will come through," Jake grumbled.

Nick glanced at this best friend in disbelief before he made his phone call. "Finn, where in hell are you?" he snapped when the smaller fox answered.

"I'm stand right behind yoz, putz!" a deep voice answered and Nick turned to look down at the small fennec fox in the black bowling shirt. "Geeze Wilde, yoz cops need to take an anger management class or something."

"I can't believe you shook down a friend!" Nick began to yell, but he stopped and watched with wide eyes as the small fox pulled a wad of cash and began peeling off bills.

"There yoz go Runnel, two thousand as promised," Finn said as he handed the money to the raccoon.

"HOW DID YOU DO THAT?" Nick snapped in disbelief. "You two aren't selling drugs or something?"

"Sometimes there are things that I just can't tell you since you put on that uniform," the small fox answered with a smirk as he put the remainder of the cash back into his pocket. "You know, self-incrimination and all that legal stuff?"

Judy let out a groan when Jake snickered at the larger fox's angry look.

"Come on Finn and I'll buy you a coffee as I figure out how I should pay taxes on our business transaction," the raccoon said as he stood up and shoved his money onto his jacket pocket. "…or if I even should?"

"JAKE!" Nick groaned out and after looking at the raccoon for a few moments, the fox just groaned again as he sat down that the table and ran his paws over his eyes in frustration. "Just forget it…in fact just let's just forget this even happened."

"Might be easier OFFICER WILDE," Finn laughed as he followed Jake towards the bistro.

Judy looked over at her fuming husband and her ears shot up, because although they were out of his earshot, she could still hear the raccoon as he asked the small fox, "How long should be we make Nick suffer before we tell him that we bought and sold a crop of designer carrots seeds?"

"Let him twist for a while and then you can tell him," the little fox laughed.

"Who figured they would ever breed fancy designer carrots? I mean Finn, they've got purple, white, and red colored carrots now!" the raccoon continued. "By the way, you did get these seeds from a reliable and legal source from Amir…right?"

"Yeah…sure," Finn answered as he sipped his coffee while watching Jake pay the cashier. "Sometimes you just have to trust your partner."

"Now you've got me worried," Jake muttered.

Judy just gave a thin smile as she looked up at the still aggravated red fox and patted his paw.


	15. A Guy Named Stan (Tribute to Stan Lee)

**Chapter 15: A Guy Named Stan**

* * *

 **Nick, Judy, and Jake remember a famous comic book community icon named Stan.**

* * *

"You are fibbing again FOX!" the thin handsome raccoon in the black sport shirt and khaki slacks fussed at the lean red fox wearing an old tee shirt and worn blue jeans, his friend was lounging on the nearby sofa. The sight of the fox's tail playfully wagging back and forth, made the raccoon frown even more.

"Nope!" the fox named Nick Wilde laughed as he shook his head. "Carrots and I both met him when he was in town for the SciTech Convention last year. We were working as part of the ZPD's security contingent at the event. He even went out of his way to shake my paw and thanked me for my role in the Night Howlers case."

"There is no way that you met the guy who helped invent some of the most classic comic book heroes ever, like the Fantastic Four and the Hulk!" the raccoon named Jake Runnel continued. "You are making this up!"

"Nope!" the fox said again with a smirk. "Would I lie to my best friend?"

"JUDY!" the raccoon shouted in an almost childlike whining tone to the grey furred rabbit doe in the kitchen. "Nick is lying to me again! He says he met Stan…"

"We did Jake," the rabbit said as she walked into the room and shook her head in disbelief at the two lazy males. She pulled back the sleeves of the blue long sleeved tee shirt she was wearing, the one that had ZPD printed on the back in bold yellow letters, as she went over to the desk. "Here, he even signed this picture for us." The bunny dug around in a drawer and pulled out a scrapbook, setting it on the table as she leafed through it until she found the picture. "Here it is! See, he even signed it with his famous motto of _Excelsior!"_

"Then you two really did met the legend himself!" the raccoon said in awe.

"Yup, I told you so coon," Nick chuckled from the couch. "I think in memory of the Great One, we should watch one of the movies he had cameos in tonight. What about the Avengers or maybe Iron Mammal?"

"Fantastic Four wasn't that good. I really did like Black Panther, but we don't have the Blue Ray or DVD of it yet," Judy added as she sat down next to her husband on the sofa. "Although I have to confess, I really did like all those Thor movies too!"

"You just like to watch that actor from Outback Island, Chris…what's his name?" Nick chuckled as he tickled his wife.

"You know his name Slick!" she laughed as she kicked her feet and slapped at his paws.

"I could run down and find Duke Weaselton," the fox joked as he pulled the bunny closer to his lap. "I'll bet by now he even has Avengers Infinity War II for sale at his bootleg stand."

"Nick, you are not going to buy an illegal copy of a movie from anyone," the rabbit giggled as he gave the fox a soft punch in his side.

"Ow Carrots, that's my kidney!" Nick protested as he kissed her on her forehead.

"Hey, which of the cameos did you guys think was his best?" Judy asked as she sorted through the DVDs that Nick had set out. "I liked the one when he was the delivery guy with the package for Tony Stank, instead of Tony Stark."

"That was the best," Nick agreed. "Although, the scene when he's talking to the Watchers was funny too, that bored look on their faces as he kept talking to them and then the look of surprise they all gave as Rocket Raccoon's spaceship zoomed by the planet."

"Nope, the best when he played the disk jockey at the strip club in the new Deadpool movie," Jake said as dug around in his coat pocket. "I swear that there is a real DJ down on River Street that looks just like him."

"So Carrots, let's get some popcorn going and make a few drinks to get ready for the movie," Nick said as he stood up and stretched, before walking towards the kitchen. "Jake, go ahead pick one of the movies for us to watch."

"Sure Nick," the raccoon said with a snicker. "I've got just the show."

A few minutes the fox returned with a couple bowls of popcorn and handed the raccoon a drink. "So what did you pick out?" Judy asked as she watched with curiosity as the raccoon picked up the remote and started the show.

"A classic cartoon that Stan was involved with," the raccoon laughed. "It's called Stripperella!"

* * *

 **EXCELSIOR! Rest in Peace Stan Lee, you will be missed.**


	16. Failing the Art of Dating

**Chapter 16: Failing the Art of Dating**

* * *

 **Jake struggles to meet the right girl. He will ultimately meet a female raccoon named Marie, who he will marry and they will have two kits. More of Jake's misadventures in dating can be found in** _ **Zootopia: A Raccoon's Romance.**_

* * *

The downtown tapas bistro was busy with the after work crowd, most of whom were young adults mingling over drinks and hors d'oeuvres. The resturant's rich mohogany counter, along with the antique covered hunter green painted walls, gave the place a cozy old world charm. Dispite its look, the resturant had only been open for a few weeks.

"I just can't figure out what it is about me that she doesn't like?" the raccoon huffed out as he twirled the ice in his drink with his claw. He was sitting at the bar next to a red fox wearing a tacky green tropical shirt with a mismatched blue and red tie.

"Maybe it's your looks, personality, or it could even be the way you dress?" Nick gave his friend one of his infamous smirks as he counted down his answers on his paw.

"No seriously," Jake started to reply and then he hesitated as he looked down at himself. He was wearing a light blue polo shirt and a pair of well starched khaki pants. "Hey! What's wrong with the way I'm dressed? These are nice clothes from Bolinger & Sons, they are one of the finest tailors in the city!"

"She is wearing a grungy black tee shirt with the image of the late rocker Prancer on it," the fox scoffed. "Not something you would find at one of the finest tailors in the city."

"There's nothing wrong with my clothes," the raccoon huffed out as he rattled the ice cubes in his glass again. "She did say that I'm not long enough."

The fox's ears shot up and he cocked his head sideways before chuckling out, "How would she know? You didn't drop your pants did you?"

"No you idiot!" she was talking about my snout!" Jake choked out as he coughed from trying to swallow his drink when the fox asked his silly question. The fox's grin got larger when he noticed the raccoon's ears were blushing.

"Well she is a coati," the fox offered before sipping his brew. Then trying to keep a straight face, he sat his bottle down before he added, "Are you sure she was talking about your schnoz?"

"Why do I even talk to you?" Jake grumbled before looking again over at the female coati at the other end of the bar.

Nick bit his tongue to keep from answering the raccoon's question with another joke, but instead he lightly elbowed his best friend in his side before answering, "Because I'm your best bud and you know that?"

Jake didn't reply, but glumly stared at his own image in the mirror hanging behind the bar. After a few moments, he saw and then felt the fox's paw gently touch is shoulder. "She wasn't the one for you Jake, the right lady is still out there somewhere just waiting for you," Nick added with a smile.

"You really think so?" the raccoon sighed out.

"Yeah, I'm an expert on screwing up matter of the heart," the fox softly chucked. "I dated all the wrong vixens before I found the right lady, who knew she was going to be a bunny?"

They sat quietly watching the other patrons at the bar, before the raccoon couldn't help himself and finally he snickered out, "Just how many sisters does Judy have?"

"None that I would let a pervert like you date coon!" the fox jokingly laughed back.

* * *

 **A coati is related the common raccoon, such as Jake, but is from Central and South America and have a longer muzzle.**


	17. Failing the Art of Dating II

**Chapter 17: Failing the Art of Dating II**

* * *

 **Jake ties again and gets shot down.**

* * *

The raccoon swirled the ice cubes in his glass and there were tears in his eyes as he looked from his hotel suite's balcony at the trees in courtyard below. He had pulled his tie loose, although it was still draped around his neck, and the sleeves of his white dress shirt were folded up to his elbows. "I never had someone do that to me before," Jake Runnel sniffled as he spoke to the nearby fox, who was still dress in his blue regulation police uniform. "She could have just said buzz off or something."

"So she wasn't interested in you bubba," Nick Wilde replied as he sipped on his own drink, he glanced back at the table where he had dumped his gun belt. Reaching up, he loosened his blue police uniform's tie and pulled it off from around his neck.

"Not interested is one thing. I mean, I've been shot down more than once, but that was brutal!" the raccoon continued as he walked back inside and into the small kitchenette, where he pulled the cork of a bottle of wine and refilled his glass. He paused to wipe his eyes again with a wet cloth.

"Coon, only you would ruin a fine red wine with ice and seltzer," the fox sighed as he picked up and read the label on the wine bottle. "So what exactly did you do this time?"

"I used one of your pick up lines," Jake sniffled again as he sipped the concoction in his glass before adding some more seltzer water. "You know the one that goes… _do you care if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room_?"

"Annnnnd she said no, I mean yes, right?" the fox snickered. "That never worked for me either. So then what did you do?"

"I tried another of your famous pickup lines... _I_ _f I followed you home, would you keep me?"_

"So is that when she shot you with the Fox Repellent and called the cops?" the fox tried not to chuckle as he rinsed off a bar towel and handed it back to his friend.

"I think she emptied the whole canister," Jake sniffled out as he wiped his eyes again.

"Because you moved from sounding like a desperate bar hopper to stalker status. Even in your warped little mind, why did you not realize how creepy it sounded using those two pickup lines in a row?"

"I thought I was being witty and suave, maybe I should go back there and apologize?"

"You show up there again, she might file a restraining order. Besides, I already explained that you were just a desperate loser when it comes to the ladies."

"Hey that's not funny!" Jake snapped as he wiped his eyes again. "Plenty of girls like me!"

"Jake, the ladies on River Street like anyone who pays them, they're hookers."

"Am I really that much of a loser?" the raccoon softly asked. His ears were folded back and his tail had dropped to close to his feet.

The fox's ears flicked as he heard the tone of concern in his best friend's voice. "Naw, you just haven't met the right girl yet."

Jack nodded as he placed the wet cloth over his stinging eyes and fumbled for a seat. "So how long is this stuff going to hurt?" he muttered through the cloth.

"How would I know?" Nick replied as he took a seat next to his friend. "I've never been shot with it."

"As if getting sprayed wasn't bad enough, she also punched me in the nose. There I was blinded and dripping blood all over the barroom floor, who knew that cats could be so violent?"

"Well it was a good thing that Clawhauser figured out it must have been you that they were calling about and radioed me and Carrots to respond. Otherwise, you might be in the holding tank tonight."

"Your silver tongue got me out of this one."

"Actually, it was Judy who did it this time," Nick replied as he pulled on his gun belt. "She and the cat got talking about bad dates. I'm surprised my honey bunny married me if I did half of what she said I did? So, if you don't need me hanging around nursing you anymore, I think I'll stop at Emmitt Otterton's Floral Shop on the way home and buy her some flowers. Are you going to be alright?"

The raccoon just answered with a flick of his paw as he stood and stumbled to the sofa.

"I'll take that as a yes," the fox added. Then hesitating, he looked back at his friend one last time. "Call me if you need to talk, you know that I'll always be here when you need me Jake."

"Yeah, I know Nick," the raccoon answered with a sigh as he reached for the television's remote and turned on a basketball game.

"You sure you're okay?" Nick asked again. He looked with concern as his best friend wiped his eyes again.

"I'll survive. Now hurry before the florist closes and give my love to Judy."

The fox slowly shut the door behind him. He hesitated again and reached towards the door knob, pausing when his ears heard something on the television that wasn't the big game. "So now he's now watching the Playbunny Channel?" the fox quietly snickered to himself. "I guess he'll really survive afterall!"

* * *

 **The moral of this tale is that you should never get your pickup lines from a fox, even if he is your best friend.**


	18. Failing the Art of Dating III

**Chapter 18: Failing the Art of Dating III**

* * *

 **Jake still doesn't find a date and things get worse.**

* * *

He was depressed as he stared at the photo on his phone and absentmindedly fiddled with the cup of tea that was sitting on the table next to him. The photo was a selfie of him snuggling with a petite female cape jackal. Her name was Melinda Velt, but everyone called her Diamonds, because she used to track down illegally smuggled blood diamonds from her war torn homeland overseas. The reward money she earned from their recovery was given to the charities which took care of her fellow refugees. The raccoon and jackal had only known each other for several months, but their romance was intensely passionate. "We're only friends," he had once told his best friend Nick Wilde. "Nothing serious, we're just using each other to have a good time." He realized, now that she was gone, that he was wrong.

From the corner of his eye, he saw a black and grey ringed tail and immediately looked over at the attractive female raccoon. She was dressed in a white blouse and a black pair of slacks, which showed off that she had all the right curves.

He blinked as she turned around and looked over at him with a smile. "You like what you see boar?" she slightly snickered in amusement.

 _Boar?_ He thought to himself. _No one usually calls a male raccoon a boar anymore, especially since the females don't like being called sows._ "Sorry, I just don't see too many raccoons in this neighborhood…" he began to explain.

She giggled again, when she saw that his ears were blushing. "Hey I know you!" she suddenly called out as she stepped towards the table where he was sitting. "You are Jake Runnel and you were in my sister Stacy's class at Happy Town High."

"You're…your're little Kimmie Waterword?" Jake stuttered out in surprise as he stood to shake her paw. "Wow, you were the scrawny little freshie who was always tagging along after Stacy?" She definitely was not scrawny anymore.

"The one and the same," she giggled as she sat down in the chair he offered her.

"So did your sis ever marry Mike?" Jake asked as he looked into her attractive brown eyes. "Last thing I heard she was pregnant with their second litter, but still hadn't tied the knot?"

"She finally made him marry her before their third litter was born," the other raccoon scoffed. "What about you? We all saw you in the news for bringing down that big dirt bag rhino and the word around the hometown is that you have your own company, have you found anyone yet?"

"No, there aren't that many raccoons around this part of the city."

"Say, were you the guy who hit on an attractive coati a few weeks ago? Isabel said a good looking male raccoon made a pass on her while she was waiting for me at the bistro."

"Her name is Isabel? She was kind of brutal in the way she shot me down."

"You're just not her type."

"Yeah, she made it quite clear that she wasn't interested in raccoons," Jake grumbled as he toyed with his tea cup.

"No, she's into raccoons," Kim laughed as she put her cup down and pulled out her phone. "She is not just into male raccoons."

Jake's ears drooped when he saw the photo of Kim and Isabel together, cutting a wedding cake. "Oh, I guess that kind of makes me feel a little better," he laughed. "Congratulations, but I didn't see a ring…so I thought…"

"We don't wear rings, Isabel works for a shipping company and they don't wear jewelry that can get caught while loading the trucks. I work in a kitchen, so no jewelry for hygienic purposes. "

"Huh, well congratulations again."

Kim looked down at his phone and saw the photo he had been looking at. "She's cute for a jackal and you two look happy together in that photo."

Jake sighed as he sipped his tea and then picked up the phone. "Yeah, I didn't realize that I loved her as much as I did until after she left," he finally said. "Diamonds was one of a kind. It was like we were made for each other, except I wasn't a cape jackal and she wasn't a raccoon. We both wanted children of our own some day and we told ourselves that it would never work out. Besides, she went back to her homeland overseas to take care of the family business and property after her uncle died."

"Oh Jake, that's so sad, I'm sure that one day you'll meet the right girl and you two will have that family."

"That's what my fiend Nick keeps telling me is," Jake replied with a shrug and then laughed before he added. "But, he's a fox married to a bunny, so what does he know?"

"You're best friend is Nick Wilde!" the other raccoon squealed out in excitement. "You're besties with Wilde? He's almost a legend in H-Town, the first fox to become a cop!"

"Yes…" Jake replied as he smiled at the other raccoon's reaction. "You guys back home do know that I own a multimillion dollar business?"

"Of course we do! But Wilde is a cop! You are just another washed up burglar…but he is a cop!"

"You've got to be kidding?" Jake sighed as he rubbed his forehead. "No wonder I can't get a date! Maybe I need to ask Bogo if he'd hire me as the city's first raccoon police officer."

"Do you think he'd do that? That would be neat!"

"Let's see, should I keep the salary as the owner of a successful business or take the pay of a rookie cop? Nope, they couldn't afford me."

They talked for a few minutes more and then he sighed as he watched her leave. His phone rang and he looked down at who was calling. "I hate you sometimes Wilde!" he answered with a mock growl.

"What did I do this time?" the fox on the other end asked in surprise. "Nice way to answer the phone."

"Just met a sexy raccoon and she was a fangirl of yours," he raccoon huffed out. "Not the nice attractive male raccoon, no she just wanted to talk all about you!"

"You should ask her on a date, we could double date! I'm sure Judy wouldn't mind."

"Nope, remember that coati?" Jake tried not to snicker out. "That was her wife."

"That explains a lot."

"Like I said, I hate you sometimes fox!"

"Love you too buddy," Nick laughed. "In a male…macho…plutonic…best friend kinda way."

* * *

 **You can read more about Jake and Diamond's brief, but passionate, love affair in _Sins of Our Fathers_ (Rated M).**


	19. A Thanksgiving Gift

**Chapter 19: A Thanksgiving Gift**

* * *

 **Cops work hard during the holidays, keeping us all safe at the many events. Duty keeps Nick and Judy away from home during Thanksgiving and so Jake leaves them a gift.**

* * *

"My feet are killing me!" the red fox in the blue winter police jacket complained as he trudged down the hallway. A weary grey furred rabbit in a matching blue jacket was walking besides him. "I hate having to work all the holidays."

"We're cops Nick, the city's Winter Tree lighting ceremony tonight was a big deal and lots of citizens came to watch the outdoors concert," the rabbit admonished him. "At least Chief Bogo didn't put us on traffic, so we did see some of the entertainment including Gazelle."

"I know, but isn't Thanksgiving a big holiday for your family?" the fox asked as he fumbled for his keys. "I'll bet your family had a big meal!"

"Your mom cooked us Thanksgiving Dinner on Sunday," Judy replied as she pulled her jacket off. "She baked a nice looking turkey breast for you both and her cooked greens were…"

"From a can," Nick snickered as he finished her thoughts. "So were the green beans and carrots. Mom never was a great cook, unlike your mother."

He hesitated before opening their apartment door, his ears were laid back and he sniffed the air. Slowly he drew his tranquilizer gun. "Someone was or is still in there!" he hissed. Pushing the door open, the fox slipped inside and immediately came to a stop as he looked dumbfounded at the huge flat screen television and then at the decorated table.

"Is that one of Gideon Grey's pumpkin pies?" Judy asked as she looked at the table and then at the big screen. Next to the pie was a carafe of what looked like fresh cider.

"Who?" Nick began to ask and then he smiled when he saw the remote control. "Of course, who else but that sneaky raccoon?"

Taking off his jacket, the fox hung it and his wife's up in the closet. Then they both sat down at the table, tentatively he pushed the remote control's button. The image of a grey and black furred raccoon dressed in a blue suit immediately appeared. "Hey guys, I hope you don't mind that I stopped by on my way to have dinner with the Bigs and brought you a few things. Yes, Nick I used the key you gave me instead of picking the lock and no, you can't keep the television because it's rented. Kevin helped me set everything up, say hi Kevin."

A huge white polar bear in a black suit stepped in front of the camera and waved, "Hey guys!"

"Okay , I figured you two already ate since you were working late tonight and so I had a pie shipped in yesterday made by Judy's second favorite fox and I also had her brother Steve record this earlier tonight." The raccoon continued. "I also figured that Judy's missing her family right now…so…well, let me just get right to it. Good night and I love you both," the raccoon said as he waved.

Nick grinned as he looked over at his wife, the rabbit's ears were folded back and she was smiling as the images of a noisy room full of bunnies eating their family's Thanksgiving Dinner came on the screen. "Hi Judy! Hi Nick!" They called out and waved towards the screen.

"It's almost like being there, Carrots!" Nick quietly said as he slid a slice of pie to his wife and poured her a glass of the cider. "Remind me to thank Jake in the morning."

The bunny just smiled and wiped away her happy tears as she watched the family of rabbits on the big screen.


	20. Don't Lie to Me!

**Chapter 20: Don't Lie to Me!**

* * *

 **Jake learns that you should always tell the truth to your best friend, he will understand. However, it may take a while before he stops teasing you!  
**

* * *

"It wasn't me!" the raccoon laying on the hotel suite's sofa objected as he lazily flicked the television remote control. "I was here all the time."

"Sure Jake," the fox in the dark blue police uniform snickered as he looked over at the raccoon dressed a strange rumpled yellow tee shirt and an oddly poor fitting pair of pink flannel pajama bottoms. "Officer Anderson said there was a guy who sure did look like you, who just disappeared into the duct work when they raided the motel."

"Nick, you know that all of us coons look alike to polar bears."

"Sure and how many of these coons shop at Bollinger & Sons Tailors? That's a very expensive top of the line clothing store."

"Plenty…I'm sure!" Jake grumbled out in an unconvincing tone as he put the remote control down.

"They found a dark green sport shirt, size small – medium just like the one you own, or maybe I should say once owned. Also a pair of well ironed khaki pants, also just like the ones you usually wear.

"You're not going to let this go are you fox?"

"Prostitution is illegal."

"It shouldn't be and you know that! Those ladies work hard for their money."

"Still, the law says otherwise," the fox continued as he walked into the hotel suite's kitchenette and dug into the raccoon's refrigerator for a drink.

"Did you-know-who already bail Meredith out?" the raccoon asked as he sat up and looked at the fox.

"So how did you know she was there?"

"Come on, just answer my question fox!"

"The wildcat was alone in the room, except for the shirt and pants, so what could they charge her with? Again, how did you know she was there?"

"I think this is when I tell the fox in the police uniform that I plead the Fifth."

"I am Nick Wilde, your best friend and not Nick Wilde the cop who is asking." The fox replied as he unbuttoned his shirt and yanked it off, throwing it onto a chair. "There! The uniform is gone, no more cop. Look buddy, I worry that you are going to get caught one day, you are still on probation."

"I didn't get caught did I?"

"Only because Anderson let you go!"

"What do you mean, he let me go?"

"A bear his size could have reached up and popped the duct work off, leaving you trapped."

"I didn't think of that," the raccoon replied and the he frowned. "Hey, I said it wasn't me!"

"Sure buddy…sure!"

The raccoon sat back and looked at the bare chested fox standing in the kitchen, before he reached for the remote again. "Games on," he said as he turned up the volume.

Nick sat down in a nearby chair and sipped form his drink as he began watching the game.

"Do you think I can get my shirt and pants back?" Jake finally asked.

"Nope!"

"That was my favorite shirt! Kind of like that tacky puke green tropical shirt you like to wear all the time."

"Too bad coon!"

"I guess after the game, I've got to go shopping."

"Yep!"

"I also owe Anderson a round or two at the Green Dragon Pub too."

"Yep!"

There was a rattling at the door and it slowly opened, showing a rabbit dressed in a light blue long sleeved shirt and a dark blue police issued Kevlar chest plate, she carried a plastic bag in her paws. Her eye brows lifted as she looked at her husband the fox and then her friend the raccoon before she sighed, "Nick, where is your shirt?"

"I took it off because Jake wouldn't talk to me dressed like a cop," Nick replied with a shrug. "He keeps saying he wasn't there."

"Even without your shirt, you're still a cop!" Judy chuckled as she walked into the room.

"Nope, now he's only Nick the freeloader," the raccoon laughed.

"Here," the rabbit tossed the bag to the raccoon. "Compliments of Chief Bogo, he forcefully insinuated that I might know who these belonged to."

Jake opened the bag and pulled out a dark green polo shirt and a pair of pants. "Hey, you found them!" the raccoon laughed. "I thought I lost these, you cops are really good finding things. I didn't even file a lost item report for these clothes." He flinched at the skeptical look Judy gave him. "Ah…the games on, help yourself to something to drink and I'll order a pizza or nachos from room service?"

"Probably the smartest thing you've said all evening," the fox drawled out as he sipped his bottle.

The rabbit came back with her drink and instead of sitting on the sofa with the raccoon, or in the other arm chair, she plopped herself down in her husband's lap and leaned back into his furry chest. "Now would you mind telling me why you are wearing a pair of oversized pink flannel PJ bottoms and a tee shirt that says _I Love Justin Beaver_?" she asked the raccoon. The smirk she gave him was almost as good as the one her husband could give. "Is there something we don't know about you Jake?"

The raccoon looked defeated and then sighed as he glanced over at his two smug looking friends, "Yes Judy I've always wanted to be a teenage girl. You know what they say, _In Zootopia, anyone can be anything!"_ he sarcastically replied with a grin. Then seeing that they weren't buying his excuse, he sighed again and continued. "Okay…Okay, the truth is that yes, I was in the motel room with Meredith and yes we had a … an agreement for her time and other…ah, services. When your cop buddies raided the place, I shimmed up into the bathroom's air duct and then crawled out to the back of the motel. The problem was that I was only in my underwear, have you ever tried to sneak across a busy street in only your underwear?"

"No Jake I haven't," the rabbit laughed and then she looked up at her husband, but the fox only shrugged. "What does that mean Nick?"

"Well there was that one time…" the fox began to answer, but shook himself and laughed. "But we aren't talking about what I've done before, are we?"

"We will discuss this later," the rabbit giggled. "Go on Jake, finish your confession."

"Thanks!" the raccoon grumbled. "So I ran across the road, with car horns blaring and cat calls being shouted at me, and into Mrs. Lee's Minute Mart. All she could find is what I am now wearing. You should have seen the look the taxi driver gave me, not to mention the way Trisha at the hotel's registration desk downstairs was laughing. My reputation around this place is now shot!"

"So why haven't you changed?" the fox asked as he picked up and took another sip of his drink.

"Well these are kind of comfortable!" the raccoon snickered. "So that's my story, the truth."

"I'm glad you told us the truth," Nick chuckled and then gave his best friend a huge grin. He sifted his wife in his lap and leaned forward before asking, "Anderson also said to tell you that he understands it is the holiday season, but he really wants to know why the bathtub was full of eggnog?"

The raccoon didn't answer, but groaned as he pulled a throw pillow over his blushing face.


	21. What does the Fox Say?

**Chapter 21: What Does the Fox Say?**

* * *

 **Both Nick and Jake are highly competitive and enjoy sports, but sometimes their rivalry gets the best of them both. As Mister Big once said to Judy, "We may be evolved, but deep down we are still animals."**

* * *

Thump…Wack…Thump! The rubber bouncy ball hit the wall and then the wooden court floor before it was hit by the small racquets that either the fox in the dark blue tee shirt that had POLICE printed on it, or the raccoon in the bright yellow tee shirt, held in their paws.

The two opponents had been at it for a few minutes and each grunted as they lunged to hit the black ball back towards the wall before stepping out of the other player's way.

Finally the raccoon missed the ball and the fox shook his racquet as he barked out a jubilant laugh.

"Damn!" the raccoon named Jake growled as he leaned over and huffed. Tearing off his safety googles, he waved them at the fox. "Do we really have to wear these…these things! They fog up and I can't see the ball."

"Neither one of us can afford to put an eye out coon," the fox named Nick panted in reply. "So put them back on."

They went back to playing, the ball hitting the wall and then bouncing off the floor before the distinctive whack of the small racquet against the ball. The game picked up speed as each player desperately lunged for the ball, to keep it in play. The sounds of growling, grunting, panting and snarling filled the air. Finally the fox burst out laughing when his distracted friend made a very distinct raccoon sound, almost like a pig's oink, the laughter caused Jake to miss the ball.

"Hey, what's so funny?" the raccoon huffed out as he leaned over and panted for breath.

The fox was also heavily panting himself, his long tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth before he slurped it back inside his muzzle. "That noise you sometimes make, it still surprises me after all these years," Nick finally huffed out.

"What noise?" Jake asked as he straightened up and then tossed the ball to the fox.

"You give that oinking noise, you sound like a pig," the fox laughed out.

"I'm a raccoon, I can't help it!" Jake protested. "It's not like you don't make weird noises sometimes."

"I have no idea what you mean?" Nick scoffed. "I don't make strange noises."

"What about that…that guttural chattering noise and yipping you make when you get really mad sometimes?" Jake snickered out as he twirled his racquet. "It goes something like yow-wow-wow, ack-ack-ackawoo-ack, and then YAGGAGHHGHAH!"

"What, I don't sound like that!" the fox protested as he bounced the rubbery ball off the wooden floor. "Besides you chatter sometimes!"

"Well what about that wimpy howl that you make?" the raccoon challenged. "The wolves all think it's hilarious."

"I yowl," Nick sighed out as he scratched his ear. "At least we foxes don't go brain dead every time someone starts to howl, like Wolford and the other timber wolves."

"They don't go brain dead," Jake replied as he tapped his racquet against his leg and considered what the fox had said. "Well, maybe you're right on that point."

The fox bounced the ball on the ground again and then served. "Oink…Oink!" he snickered.

The raccoon looked over at him in anger as he missed that ball. "HEY, that was not fair!" he yelled and stamped his foot. "You distracted me!"

The fox just grinned as he picked up the ball.


	22. Judy's Scars

**Chapter 22: Judy's Scars  
**

* * *

 **Jake and Nick discuss the impact that Judy has had upon their lives.**

* * *

"So when did Judy get those scars?" the raccoon asked the fox one sunny morning as they were in the farmer's market buying groceries, at least that was what the red fox in the dark blue windbreaker with a POLICE stenciled on it in yellow and a pair of khaki cargo pants was doing. The raccoon in the stylish black worsted wool pea coat and well starched grey corduroy slacks lived in one the city's nicest business hotels, so he had little need of doing his own cooking. "you know, the ones on her left cheek, did some criminal claw her?"

"You've just now noticed them?" the fox named Nick scoffed as he adjusted his jackets collar to keep out the cold wind, which whipped between the two tall buildings in front of them. He looked up at the clouds and wondered if the weather bureau was wrong again about there not being any snow for the holidays.

"They are not that noticeable under her fur unless you're very close. You didn't give her those did you?" the raccoon named Jake inquired as he watched his best friend pick through a bin of zucchini, trying to find only the freshest. "A little of the predator hunting his prey accident?"

The fox gave a slight snarl as he whipped around and stared at the grinning raccoon. "NOT FUNNY RINGTAIL!" he snapped back through clenched jaws. "I've never purposely hurt Judy!"

"I know you wouldn't," Jake replied with a shrug as he picked up three tomatoes and began juggling them, the fox snatched one from in the air almost causing the raccoon to drop the other two. He frowned at Nick before he gently put the last two back into the bin. "I've got a few of those scars on my back from an over zealous cheetah lover, I'll have to tell you about her one day."

"She got those when she was in elementary school, another fox clawed her," Nick sighed as he took the three cucumbers from his best friend's paw, before the raccoon could begin trying to juggle them too. "Stop it, you're bruising the produce! Farmers work hard growing and caring for their crops!"

"Sorry, I forget that you're so temperamental over vegetables," Jake snickered as he hefted a cabbage and then set it back after judging it was way too big to juggle. "I guess that's what happens when you marry the farmer's daughter? So what happened to that fox, they send him to juvie or did he grow up to be another lowlife?"

"A baker," Nick answered as he picked through a crate of carrots. "It was Gideon Grey."

"Wait, Judy's favorite roly poly pie making fox gave her those scars?" the raccoon blurted out in surprise as he set a huge melon down and looked over at his friend. "He wouldn't hurt a fly!"

"He was a mean bully as a child, a regular terror," the fox sighed as he looked over at the raccoon. "Some of us do change as we get older and grow up." Snatching a kumquat from the raccoon, he gently placed it back on the pile. "Those of us who do grow up."

"Hey I was going to buy that!" the raccoon snapped as he grabbed the fruit back up and stuck his tongue out at the fox. "We raccoons happen to really like kumquats!"

"As I said, those of us who grow up!" the fox chuckled as he continued. "I should know because I was a cynical, brash, self loathing hustler before Carrots came into my life. She changed me, turned me around and taught me I was a better mammal than I thought I was. She's done the same to you too, you just don't realize it do you?"

"How did she do that?" the Jake asked as he gave his best friend a puzzled look. "I've always been the suave and debonair raccoon that you've known to admire!"

"Sure buddy, keep telling yourself that!" the fox laughed. "She arrested you for hitting me, didn't she? " The raccoon nodded. "Your arrest led to Mister Big sending his personal attorney Manny Molenger to represent you and he got Bogo to drop the charges against you for assaulting everyone's favorite fox cop. If Judy hadn't arrested you, then Big wouldn't have known it was you to thank for saving his life that day. His help and assistance let you start your business. You now live in one of his hotels, almost for free, and he treats you like family, all this is because of Judy. If she hadn't done what she did, than you would have probably returned to being a two bit burglar and would be back in jail today."

"Somehow, that almost sounds logical?" Jake replied. "Let me guess, she saved Gideon Grey too?"

"She refused to tell on him, which caused him to his feel bad for what he did and that ultimately led to his getting help for his insecurities and anger," Nick smugly answered. "So yeah, I guess she did."

The raccoon pondered the fox's words as he followed his friend through the market. "So, I hired Ratzolli and a lot of my other employees when they got out of jail and were looking for legit jobs," he began.

"It takes a thief to catch a thief," Nick added with a chuckle. "Or in your case, a burglar to design a burglar proof security system."

"Nothing is burglar proof…" Jake began to correct him and then waved a paw. "What I meant, was that Judy saved me from continuing a life of crime, I hired my staff and gave them legit jobs so they didn't return to crime, we design security systems which keep others from committing crimes…"

"Coon where are you going with this?" the fox asked with a puzzled look.

"Well considering how many crimes have not been committed because Judy talked you into becoming a cop and then arrested me for hitting you," the raccoon continued with a grin. "I think I'll tell Bogo next time I see him that he owes her a HUGE raise!"

"Somehow in a warped Jake Runnel manner, that almost makes sense," Nick laughed. "Good luck selling it to Old Buffalo Butt!"


	23. Bright Lights (A Christmas Story)

**Chapter 23: Bright Lights (A Christmas Story)**

* * *

 **Nick shares a special view with his wife Judy and his best friend Jake.**

* * *

"I swear that you two act about as mature as my twelve year old brothers!" Judy huffed out as she looked at her husband. The handsome fox in the tacky lime green light rain jacket had his long tongue stuck out and was giving the raspberry at the younger thin raccoon in the dark blue slicker. She pulled at her ear in agitation as the raccoon flipped off the fox. Around them the lush tropical foliage was damp and the air was warm and dense. The rabbit's ears perked up and slightly twitched at the roaring sound of the nearby waterfall and she glanced over the edge to watch the water fall several stories before it reached the river below.

"Hey Judy, just how many twelve year old brothers do you have?" the raccoon named Jake called out over the din. "Do you buy everyone in your family birthday presents?" he frowned as the rabbit began counting on her fingers. "Forget it! I keep forgetting that you have half a million brothers, sisters, cousins, nephews and nieces, uncles and aunts."

"My family is not nearly that big!" the rabbit protested as she grabbed her husband's paw and began pulling him behind her as she walked down the pathway.

"I'm not so sure," Nick laughed, before he heard the sound of fake thunder and looked at his watch. "Time for the next shower!" he called out as he opened the umbrella which he was carrying and pulled his wife next to him.

The raccoon fumbled around, before his umbrella finally popped open just in time to block the water droplets that began falling from the sprinklers above. "And why are we here in the middle of the Rainforest District instead of Sahara Square, where we could have stayed dry?"

"I thought raccoons like water?" the fox chuckled at the look the raccoon was giving him. "Your tail is getting soaked," he quickly added.

"Damn!" Jake snapped out with a growl as he moved his tail near his feet. "We like water, just not the kind that falls on our heads!"

"Come on complainer, we are almost to the top," Nick laughed as they continued up the slope towards the tree line. "You'll love what you see when we get there."

Judy paused as she looked down into the growing darkness below them, "Hey Nick, look there's Vine and Tudjunja!"

"It's pronounced Tujunga, Carrots!" Nick laughed as he hugged her closer. "I told you that before."

"I wasn't listening to you back then, I too busy running for my life," the rabbit giggled. "Being hunted by a savage black jaguar will tend to cause that!"

"I take it you are talking about one of the Night Howler's victims?" Jake asked as he looked to where Judy was pointing.

"Yeah and that platform over there is where Nick first told off Bogo," she added as she now pointed at a wooden platform that led to the lifts.

"You told off Bogo?" the raccoon asked in awe. "I would have loved to have seen his face when you did that!"

"No, you wouldn't," Nick snickered. "Let's just say, he was dumbfounded at first and then we were whisked away on the lift before he came out of shock."

"He and I have had our fair share of arguments over the past few months," Jake replied as he shook off his umbrella and closed it. "He can seem reasonable after he calms down. Come to think of it, it's when he is really mad at you and acts very calm that's the most worrisome."

"Like the Ramirez case?" Nick asked with a grin. "He kept playing that recording of you saying what to the warthog who we had under surveillance?"

"Look someone has you bugged!" Jake snickered. "How was my team supposed to know it was you cops doing it at the time? I mean I thought Ramirez was a perfectly somewhat honest businessmammal. We stumbled upon your surveillance operation by accident when setting up his new security system."

"You sure found out afterwards!" Judy laughed as she skipped past the raccoon and up onto the top of the ridge. "He was involved in a smuggling ring."

Nick stopped and put his arms around his wife as he joined her, looking back towards the city. Darkness was coming and Jake looked at the sun setting in the west. "Wow, that is some sunset," he called out.

"I didn't bring you all the way up here for that, just wait," Nick replied. They could see the Savannah Central below them and both Sahara Square and Tundratown beyond. "When I was young and missing having my family for the holidays, Finn would bring me up here."

"Why didn't you just go home?" Jake asked.

"I was too bitter at first and then I became too embarrassed to go home to let my mother know that her son was just another two bit hustler," Nick sighed. "So I stayed away and pretended I was a tough guy."

Jake joined his friends as they watched the night creep up upon the city, as the pink and red hues of the sunset were replaced with the darker shades of blue of the evening's twilight. Below them as far as they could see, the bright white lights of the city street lamps and buildings began to illuminate the darkness. But amongst it all, the blinking rainbow hues of holiday lights with their yellow, green, red, blues and other colors showed along the suburban streets and tall stately downtown buildings. "Amazing!" Jake muttered in awe.

He felt Nick's arm touch him on his back as the fox stood there with one arm around his wife and the other as it slipped over his best friend's shoulder.

After a few minutes in the darkness, Jake finally asked, "Hey Nick, you did bring a flashlight?"

"Why, don't you raccoons have night vision?" the fox asked.

"Yeah, but bunnies don't," Jake pointed out.

"My honey bunny doesn't need to see in the dark, she has a fox," he chuckled.

"Who still stubs his toes in the dark bedroom at night," Judy laughed as she turned on a small penlight.

"Smart bunny," Jake laughed.

"Dumb fox and silly raccoon," Judy giggled.


	24. The Cockoo Clock (A Christmas Story)

**Chapter 24: The Cuckoo Clock (A Christmas Story)**

* * *

 **Jake finds and repairs a broken antique clock as a gift for a special friend.**

* * *

Tick..tock..tick…tock… the raccoon in the dark green polo shirt and jeans leaned over with growing anticipation as he watched the old cuckoo clock's pinecone shaped pendulums swing back and forth. The antique wooden clock looked like a small bird house with intricately carved spindles, leaves, and flowers.

"Jake are you planning to stay here all day?" the red fox in the Guns N' Rodents band tee shirt and denim jeans complained from the front of the pawn shop. "Leroy only wanted you to open that old safe he bought in an estate sale, you've done that and so let's go!"

"Shhh!" the raccoon excitedly replied to his impatient friend. "It's about the chime the hour."

There was the sound of whirling gears as the clock began to strike the hour and a small broken bird popped out from inside the clock as it made a distinctive mechanical song. "Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!"

Nick Wilde had to grin as he watched his best friend clasp his paws together with almost childlike glee. "I've got to buy this!" Jake exclaimed to the shopkeeper.

The elderly armadillo reached up and adjusted his glasses as he peered at the raccoon. "It doesn't keep time very well, I tried to fix it myself but it still runs slow. The bird is also damaged, are you sure you really want the thing?"

"I think you're doing this wrong," Nick snickered to the shopkeeper. "I don't think you're not supposed to talk the customer out of buying something?"

"Jake's an old friend," Leroy scoffed. "We used to do business together years ago.

"You fenced his stolen items for him," the fox replied with a chuckle. "Excuse me…allegedly fenced the items."

"I'm a legitimate businessmammal Wilde," the armadillo sighed as he watched the raccoon. "Besides, I recall a certain red fox coming in here in the past with items of a questionable origin."

"I have no idea who you are referring to," the fox huffed out. "Come on Jake, let's get going!"

"Cool your heels fox, I want to get this!" the raccoon snapped back.

"It's yours if you want it Jake," the shop owner called out. "It's your fee for opening the safe and resetting the combo."

"No Leroy, I did that as a favor," Jake objected as he dug around in his pocket for some cash and set the right amount on the counter.

The shopkeeper carefully wrapped the clock in tissue paper before putting it in a bag. He looked down at the wad of cash. "You do know that this is a pawn shop?" he laughed as he handed the bag to the raccoon. "Everyone else negotiates and nobody but you ever pays the sticker price."

"I don't like to argue," the raccoon said with a shrug of his shoulders and then he cast a disapproving sideways glance towards the nearby fox, who gave a disbelieving snort. "Shut up Wilde!"

"Jake you are the most argumentative coon I have ever met," Nick chuckled. "You argued with me about the color of the sky just this morning! Who cares what shade of blue the sky even was?"

"I wasn't arguing with you fox trot!" the raccoon replied in a haughtily manner as he picked up his bagged prize. "I was correcting your misperception concerning reality, my dear naive friend."

"Sure buddy," Nick laughed as he threw his arm over his friend's shoulder while he steered the raccoon towards the shop's front door.

Hours later Jake took a seat at his kitchenette table, he had just returned from visiting a woodworking shop just outside Little Rodentia where he had just ordered a custom replacement part for the clock. Unpacking his prize and carefully setting it the table, he reached for a small screwdriver set and within minutes had disassembled the clock. He happily grunted to himself with satisfaction as he scrutinized each part and explored the mechanics of the clock's interworkings.

As a child, Jake had happily sat with his father, as the two repaired broken toasters, microwaves, televisions, and other appliances that his father had found in the trash. They sold the repaired appliances to supplement his father's meager salary for working with the city's Sanitation Department. This fascination and curiosity with how things worked, led the younger raccoon to wanting to get a degree in Engineering and after that failed, down the unwanted path of becoming a burglar. He became obsessed with security systems and how to defeat them, and after he had gone straight, he was an expert on how to design systems which others could not defeat.

He toyed with the clock over several days before finally repairing the mechanism and with the delivery of that one custom item installed, he was finished. Carefully the raccoon put the clock into a box and wrapped it in green and red holiday paper. A silver bow finished the present and he set it aside for the upcoming Winter Solstice Celebration.

Winter's Eve came and Jake spent the evening with the Big family, as one of their many guests at their traditional holiday feast, and then he attended the morning sunrise service with the shrews. Nick and Judy, being police officers, had to work the holiday and it wasn't until the later that afternoon when the friends finally got together at Nick and Judy's apartment.

Jake reached under the decorated pine tree, with its tinsel and lights, and picked up the package. With a grin he held it out towards Judy, "This is special and I hope you'll like it!"

As the bunny unwrapped the box, she squealed in delight. "This reminds me of a clock my Nana gave my parents, it so beautiful!" she cried out as she hugged the raccoon.

"I rebuilt it the best I could, but I had to make one small adjustment," Jake said as he took it and wound it up. "It keeps perfect time."

"What couldn't you fix?" Nick asked in a curious tone as he leaned forward in a nearby chair.

"You'll see!" Jake chuckled as he held the clock vertically in his paws. "Judy, would you please move the hands to twelve."

She moved the hands and the clock began making a whirling sound as it began to call out "Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!"

Each time the clock made its distinct call, a small object popped out and Judy burst out in joyous laughter. It seemed that the one small item which Jake couldn't fix was the broken bird, so he replaced it with a little carved fox painted reddish orange with a green tropical shirt and mismatched tie.

* * *

 **For more about the Winter Solstice and the Winter's Eve Feast celebrations, read Chapter 31: Dark Choices, found in _Zootopia: A Raccoon's_ _Redemption._ Also I have a chapter about the celebrations on the coast of Sahara Square in an unrelated story, _Zootopia: Stone Kole in Hang Ten_ , Chapter 23: A Freak of Nature.  
**


	25. The Waltzing Rabbit Incident

**Chapter 25: The Waltzing Rabbit Incident**

* * *

 **Jake comes to Nick's rescue, proving that between the two of them they know just about every lowlife in the city.**

* * *

Thump, bump, and finally CRASH! The small figurine of two rabbits dancing smashed onto the apartment's hard wooden floorboards. "Sugar honey iced tea!" the fox in a light green tropical shirt exclaimed as he stared in horror at the object which had fallen off the bookcase shelf he was dusting.

"What was that?" a raccoon named Jake, who was dressed in a light blue polo shirt and khaki pants, asked as he looked up at the fox from the sofa where he was sitting reading a magazine.

"I just broke the statue of two waltzing rabbits which Judy got from her grandmother!" the fox named Nick almost yowled in a panicked tone as he knelt by the broken crockery. " I think it was an antique family heirloom."

"I can see that! What I meant was what was that so called curse you yelled out?

"Spell it out dunderhead,"

"Sugar Honey Iced Tea..Oh…OH! The bunny's having a bad influence on you, but at least you didn't say sweet cheese and crackers again. You'd think after all these years of being a cop, she'd learn to properly curse."

"Carrots is going to kill me!" the fox sighed as he tried to piece the figurine together again. "I can glue it, but you can see the cracks."

"Why don't you go online to see if you can find another one for sale," the raccoon said with a shrug as he turned the base over and peered at it closely.

"It's antique!" the fox whined.

Pulling out his phone, the raccoon made a brief phone call and then grinned up at the fox. "Give me the parts, I think I know a guy who can fix this or at least fix your problem."

"Who's going to do that?"

"I know a guy."

"You know a guy?"

"Just trust me bro!"

"You've got that look on your face, what are you up to?"

"Get your jacket and come on," Jake scoffed as he pulled on his own tan canvas jacket and watched as Nick reached for a dark blue windbreaker. "You can't wear that where we are going, it says POLICE on the back."

"Why can't I … Coon where are we going?"

"Trust me, I wouldn't steer you wrong."

"You have before."

"Okay, the hippo ballet thingy doesn't count!"

"I just felt bad for those poor pet crocodiles," Nick chuckled as he slipped on an old lime green jacket.

"One of these days I've got to drag you down to my tailor," the raccoon sighed and then winced at what the fox was wearing. "It's an embarrassment to be seen in public with you sometimes."

"Oh oo-de-lally, listen to mister fancy pants who gets all his clothes tailored made and not at Moose-Mart like us poor underpaid civil servants have to do!"

"I don't get everything custom made, this shirt is from Mousy's and the belt from Targoat."

"And the pants?" the fox asked with a smirk.

"Shut up fox!"

"You didn't answer."

"Okay, the pants and jacket are from my tailor, Bollinger and Sons" The raccoon rolled his eyes at the smirk that is best friend was now giving him. "Why do I even try to argue with you?" He gave a good-natured huff.

"One of these days you'll learn that I 'm always right!" the fox snickered as he grabbed his keys and wallet from a small bowl, before he opened the apartment's door.

"You do know that you are not always right?" Jake laughed as he walked down the stairs toward the street. "There was that time with the blender…"

"Point taken," the fox sighed. "Are we doing Zuber, taxi or bus?"

"Nick, between the two of us we know just about every taxi driver in this city, so why would we take Zuber?" the raccoon replied as he waved his paw at the approaching vehicles.

A somewhat beaten up yellow taxi cab stopped, its driver was an elderly skunk in an old blue jean jacket with fading patches and a grey tweed flat cap between his ears. "Yo Runnel, it's kind of early to be heading to River Street!" he called out as the raccoon opened the front passenger's side door and sat down. "The ladies ain't come out ta work yet!" The skunk frowned when he saw Nick. "Well ain't it Slick Nick himself? I heard you're now a cop, who'd believe they let a fox become a cop!"

"Yes Patches, I am a police officer," the fox sighed as he slipped into the backseat. "I may be off duty right now, but don't try getting us to wherever we are going by the extra-long route so you can jack up your fare."

"I wouldn't do that to Runnel!" the skunk objected. "But a guy has to make a living. Hey, Jake where do you want to go? The meters running."

"Temple district in Little Amir, do you know Bennie's place on 25th?" Jake replied as the raccoon played with the car's radio, changing the station.

The skunk slapped the raccoon's paw, "You don't play with a cabbie's radio coon!"

"I don't want to hear any of that techno crap you listen to!" Jake snickered. "Come on, at least let me turn on a station which plays some coyote honky tonk!"

"Don't touch the radio!" Patches snarled again, but he was too late because the raccoon had punched a button and the voice of Gazelle filled the air. The cabbie looked at Jake and they both groaned before switching it off.

"Hey, I like Gazelle!" the fox called out from the backseat. "That was her new song, turn it back on!"

"You also like jazz," Jake scoffed.

"All foxes like jazz," Nick muttered. "I don't complain when you play hip hop!"

"I like hip hop too!" Patches added as he turned the radio back on and changed the station, soon the three mammals were swaying and bouncing to the beat as the cab drove down the street.

Little Amir is a section of the city that borders the Rainforest District and was settled by mammals, such as tigers, goats, pandas, and others, who came from the lands to the far East. Pagoda shaped buildings, conclave red clay tiled roofs, and other features from their homeland was carried into the area's architecture.

Jake's ears flattened as he looked out the window. He spent much of his college years in these neighborhoods, being mentored in spirituality by a friend's elderly grandfather. He sighed as they drove down several familiar streets. In his anger after his father's death and during the traumatic aftermath, he had abandoned a red panda named Sonya's friendship and that of her grandfather. It was another of the many mistakes he made as his life spiraled downward towards his becoming a criminal, it was a mistake that haunted him and he knew he needed to rectify it someday soon.

The cab finally stopped in front of a nondescript looking warehouse and Jake stepped out of the cab. "This might take a few minutes Patches," he said as he handed the cabbie some cash. "There's a great tea joint around the corner, have a cup or two on me and we'll meet you there."

Nick watched as the beat up cab rumbled out of the dusty parking lot. "Is this place legit?" the fox asked the raccoon as they walked towards a door next to the loading dock. "This looks like a place we cops might raid for drugs or smuggling? I thought I knew most places around, but not this one."

"You know Bennie!" Jake laughed. "He supplies most of the knickknacks and junk for the tourist market. You know those I heart Zootopia mugs and stuff."

"That Bennie!" Nick scoffed, "I remember him. He was arrested for money laundering for the mob years ago! So, this is where he has his warehouse now? But what does Benny have to do with a broken antique?"

"Runnel! Wilde!" A voice called out from the doorway and a fat weasel in a tan suit waved. "I heard you two are hanging around together. You do know coon that red there is now a cop? It's a good thing you've gone legit or at least are pretending that you have."

"Not funny, I have gone legit and you know that!" Jake called back as he shook his head. "Did you find one?"

The weasel reached around behind him and produced a exact replica of the broken statue. "This is it, right?"

"That's an exact match!" Nick happily shouted as he carefully took the statue in his paw. "How much do you want for this?"

"Sorry Wilde, I only sell wholesale by the case," Bennie answered. "A case of thirty six, but I'll give them to you for free since I owe your pal a big favor. Besides, I haven't been able to dump these damn statues since that old broad Hopps died in over in Bunnyburrow and I want them out of my warehouse."

"We'll take them!" Jake quickly called out. "Let Nick take this one with him and send the rest to my company's warehouse."

They got back with the statue in time to put it back on the shelf before Judy got home and she never realized anything happened to her beloved statue.

A few years later, it was Judy who broke the statue. While she was sweeping up the broken pieces, she mentioned to Nick that she really didn't like it anyways. Nick groaned because he knew that in some corner of Jake's warehouse, the raccoon was stuck with a dust covered crate of thirty-five more waltzing rabbit statues.


	26. Don't try to Rob My Client

**Chapter 26: Don't Try to Rob my Client!**

* * *

 **This chapter shows the darker side of the raccoon's temperament.**

* * *

As a young adult, Jake Runnel had spent too much of his life living on the streets and for several years he had lived in flop houses and flea ridden seedy motels in what others would call the "bad" side of the city. The lower river dock section of the Rainforest District, where he now stood as he stared at the front door of Max's Pub & Grub, was one of the worst parts of Zootopia. Stepping through the mud, he shoved open the door and entered into the pub's dark dingy interior. He warily looked around, the place was filthy and he could feel the stickiness of split beer and grime under his hindpaws. Despite the city's laws against smoking inside any establishment, a cloud of bluish white smoke hung lazily in the air. Inside of the room was an assortment of rough appearing mammals who watched him with curiosity, the slim raccoon dressed in a blue suit definitely did not look like he belonged in such a disreputable joint.

Jake's brown eyes were partly hidden within his species telltale black and grey "bandit's mask" and they narrowed when the raccoon found who he had come searching for sitting in a corner booth with a tough looking highland wildcat. The greasy looking weasel in the dirty light yellow sport shirt, was sitting across the table from the cat and he grimaced at the sight of the raccoon. "You lost Runnel?" the weasel named Phil Wessley finally snarled out as he took a puff of a nasty smelling cigar. "Let me guess, you're slumming it tonight?"

The wildcat's eyes also narrowed and his claws unsheathed as if he was ready for a tussle. "I'm not in the mood for a fight with you tonight Ian," Jake casually stated in a very matter of fact tone as he crossed over and stood in front of the table. "Besides, your cousin Meredith would have my hide if we did."

"Ach, she would at that boyo," the tomcat replied in a heavy brogue as he stood up and then reached down to pick up his drink, which he tossed down in one gulp before wiping his muzzle with the back of his paw. "I ken that she'd no be pleased with me neither."

There was a slam on the bar's counter and the walrus behind it yelled out, "Ian there'll be no fighting in my place! Besides after what you pal over there did, he doesn't deserve your help."

"Aye Max, I ken Jake didn't come here for me anyways," the cat called back as he passed by the raccoon, purposely bumping into him with his shoulder.

Jake grabbed Ian's arm and the cat spun to face him with a hiss. "You do know I could take you coon?" he spit out.

"Probably, but I think I'd rather scuffle with you cousin," the raccoon gave a small smile. "Losing to her is much more…ah, sweeter."

"Phft!" the cat chuckled back as he lowered his claws.

"You should call her," the raccoon calmly added as he tightened his grip on the cat's arm. "She misses hearing from you. You're one of the few members of her family who will even still talk to her."

"She bloody well knew what would happen when she took up whoring," the cat grunted.

"Still she's your family and my friend," the raccoon replied. "Call her!" The cat pulled his arm free and took a seat at the bar.

"Touching Runnel," the weasel sarcastically laughed. "That was just so damn touching!" He blew smoke at the raccoon, who just stared back at him.

"I guess everyone in here knows what you did?' Jake loudly stated as he eyes narrowed again. There were murmurs of agreement from the other patrons. "That's always been your problem Wessley, you don't care about anyone but yourself."

"Aw, you're still sore I left you that night years ago at the Field Brothers Auction House?" the weasel forced a chuckle. "You were dumb coon, just sloppy and the cops pinched you."

"You set me up Wessley, sold me out!" the raccoon growled with his teeth bared. "You left me to take the fall for the heist that night, just like you left Phil and Lefty last night. I didn't squeal on you despite what you did and your pals won't either. "

"So I left them behind when the job went south?" Wessley snorted as he took another puff on his cigar. "You do know that's what they call survival of the fittest? What's all this got to do with you coon?"

The raccoon's paw slashed across the table and slapped the cigar out of the shocked weasel's muzzle. "You idiots tried to hit one of my client's warehouses, my company is providing the security system! You should have known better!"

"We didn't get in!" Wessley cried out in a panic as he backed himself further into the booth, trying to get away from the angry raccoon. "We didn't get nothing, Lefty tripped a damn hidden alarm!"

Jake calmed himself as he looked at the fear in the burglar's eyes. "I've got you on video at the scene," the raccoon softly growled as held up a memory stick. "So this is the way things are going to go down tonight, you're going to surrender yourself to the cops and admit you were in on the whole scheme."

"Why would I do that?" the weasel whimpered.

"Because if you look outside you will see I came here by a limo owned by the Tundratown Limousine Service and you know who owns that!" Jake snapped back.

"So you're gonna have the mob take me out if I don't confess?" Wessley whined in fear.

"Who do you think owns that warehouse you idiot!" the raccoon darkly chuckled. "Since it was one of his legit businesses, he wanted me talk to you first."

The weasel gasped in fear as he looked around at the other patrons in the bar, most had turned away and were now pretending to pay more attention to their drinks than the raccoon.

"It's your choice, Wessley!" Jake snarled. "Decide!"

The weasel slipped out of the booth and looked around in panic, tensing as if he was going to bolt. The raccoon grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer. "You run and they will find you," Jake growled. "They will hunt you down, so don't be an idiot!"

"Okay! Okay!" the weasel cried out as he was shoved towards the door. "I'll give myself up to the cops!"

The raccoon pushed the smaller mammal through the pub's door and out onto the street, Wessley's eyes widened as he saw a uniformed red fox with a coffee cup in his paw leaning against a police cruiser and laughing at a joke which a huge large polar bear in a black suit had just told him. "Kevin, that is just so wrong!" the fox chuckled.

Both the fox and the polar bear stopped laughing and turned when the weasel and raccoon came out of the building. "He's yours Wilde!" Jake called to the fox as he flipped the memory stick to the cop, who deftly caught it.

"So where are you and Marie going tonight?" Nick called back as he pulled out a pair of pawcuffs and yanked Wessley's paws behind him before he slapped them on.

"I told her I would take her to that new club downtown," Jake replied. "You know Club Z."

"You're not into EDM coon!" Nick laughed as frisked the weasel down and tossed the switchblade knife he had found in Wessley's pocket into a plastic evidence bag.

"EDM?" the bear named Kevin asked in confusion. "What's that?"

"It's certainly not Jerry Vole and Rat Pack music like you listen to, it means electronic dance music and I'm not at all into it," Jake teased. "But I'm into Marie, so when she asked if I wanted to go with her, I immediately said yes."

"The sacrifices we make for love Jake," the bear chuckled as he opened the limousine door for the raccoon. "Oh and I don't listen to Jerry Vole, that's the boss's music."

The raccoon laughed as he passed the door the bear was holding open and walked around to the passenger's side of the large black sedan and after tugging the door open, he climbed into the front seat. "Sure Kevin, I caught you humming the song Mack the Knife just last week."

"Jake, my little friend, it's better than that hip hop you like to play," Kevin chuckled back as he plopped down in the driver's seat and started the limousine.

Nick shook his head and smiled, as he watched the limo with the bear and his best friend drive away.

* * *

 **Marie is the female raccoon he met after helping stop a mad scientist from unleashing a modified version of the feline distemper upon the city (** _ **Chapter 9 of Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption**_ **). She is the love of his life and will ultimately become his wife and the father of his two sons. For more about their romance, and Nick's role in saving their relationship, read** _ **Zootopia: A Raccoon's Romance**_ **.**


	27. Wrong Sport (Super Bowl Special)

**Chapter 27: Wrong Sport (Super Bowl Special)**

* * *

 **I don't have a favorite team in today's big game, in fact my wife is still not happy about what happened to the Saints and has been highly vocal about it in a her very Cajun sort of way.**

 **Nick and Jake are supposed to be watching the "Big Game", but have found another "sport" of sorts to watch instead.**

* * *

Judy's eyes came open at the sound of her husband's laughter and the snickering of a raccoon, the sounds were coming from the apartment's den. She closed them again as she gave out a little yawn and snuggled back under the warm blankets. The rabbit doe was exhausted from working four straight days of twelve hour shifts. The first couple shifts weren't so bad because it was her and Nick doing light traffic patrol in Sahara Square, just some lazy driving around and a few tickets were given out to bad drivers. However, Bogo had reassigned Nick to the K-9 Unit for their last two shifts and she was partnered with Francine. It's not that she didn't get along great with Francine, but she had to really hustle to keep up with the elephant. For every step her huge partner made, she'd have to make three and more just to keep up and it just wore her out.

The laughter became a bit louder and she heard Nick call out, "That's it, slam her harder…Oh come on!"

"She almost lost all of it that time," his best friend Jake gleefully added. "The fur's flying now!"

"Shhh! Carrots is trying to sleep!" the fox cautioned. "Keep it down!"

Her ears twitched as she heard some very feminine voices from the television show they were watching. "I thought they were watching the Super Bowl?" she softly exclaimed to herself. "What are those two doing now?"

"Oh no!" the raccoon laughed out. "There it goes!"

"Shhh!" her husband urgently whispered again.

She slowly climbed out of the warm bed and grabbed up her terry cloth robe, pulling it on over her blue flannel pajamas as she gently opened the door and peeked out. The fox in the green tropical shirt was lazily lounging across the sofa with a predatory grin on his muzzle. The raccoon in the blue collared shirt however, was leaning forward in his chair with a leering look on his face.

"So who's winning?" she sarcastically asked as she threw the door open. Nick's ears shot up as he jumped, almost dropping the remote as he desperately changed the channel. His best friend Jack however, just winced as he sat back in the chair and tried to act nonchalantly about what was going on.

"I asked you both, who is winning?" Judy repeated herself, trying not to grin at the guilty look that both of the males were trying to suppress.

Nick's eyes flickered towards the television before he answered, "The Rams…no, I meant the Patriots!"

"Uh-huh," the rabbit sighed out as she walked into the kitchen. "So Jake, where's Marie? I would have thought you two would have a date tonight?"

"Her roommate had a girl's only Super Bowl party," the raccoon answered as he sipped his drink. "No guys allows, so I came over here to watch sports with my best friends!"

"Uh-huh," Judy repeated herself. The raccoon's ears went flat as she walked past him with her glass of juice and plopped herself on the sofa next to the fox. "You said the Patriots are winning? Slick, the game is scoreless!" She stated as she snatched the remote from Nick's paws.

"Hey!" he yelped out as he tried to grab it back.

He was too late, because she had pressed the previous channel button. Her mouth dropped open at what she saw before her. "NICK!" she protested as she looked up at him. He gave her a guilty smirk in response. "You two were watching vixen mud wrestling!"

"Well I think it's a sport!" Jack defensively called out. "Kind of…" his voice tailed off at the look the rabbit gave him.

"Uh-huh!" Judy giggled. "I'm sure it is in your warped mind."

"Hey!" the raccoon protested.

"Haven't you learned by now not to argue with my wife," the fox sighed out. "Sorry dear."

The rabbit snuggled back into her husband and gave a little yawn. "Well, I'm going back to bed," she softly said before standing up and crossing past the guilty looking raccoon. "You two let me know who wins."

Judy plopped herself back into the bed and snuggled into the sheets, as she pulled the blanket over her with a deep satisfied sigh. She could hear the sounds of the announcer calling the game in the other room. As she finally began to drift off back to sleep, her ears shot up at the sounds of the feminine voices again. "Boys!" she whispered to herself as she tried not to giggle.


	28. Be My Valentine

**Chapter 28: Be My Valentine**

* * *

 **Jake asks Marie to be his Valentine.**

* * *

The female raccoon awoke with a slight start when she found herself alone in the bed. She looked around the room and finally found something to pull on before she went searching for her companion and she found him in down the hallway in the next room. The handsome male raccoon was dressed only in a pair of yellow nylon running shorts. He wasn't thin, but was lean with a muscular build that matched that of an acrobat and his fur was groomed fashionably short. She watched him as he hunched over the table with his black and grey ringed tail slowly swished back and forth as he concentrated on the schematics in front of him. "Having troubles sleeping, Sugar?" she called out in a soft Southern drawl and he gave a startled jump, because he hadn't heard her getting out of the bed.

"No I just trying to figure something out," Jake answered her with a shrug of his shoulders. He gave her an appreciative smile as he looked over at her standing in the doorway. She only had on one of his dress shirts and that made her look even sexier. "My shirt is a bit too short to be a robe."

"Do ya'll have a problem with that?" Marie asked, trying not to giggle as he grinned in reply. She didn't have any pajamas at his place. After all, she was trying to convince herself earlier that she hadn't expected their date to end up here. "Should I put something else on?"

"Defiantly no," he huskily replied as he walked over towards her. The two lovers kissed as they fumbled towards the bedroom again. An hour later she rubbed her cheeks into his chest fur, appreciating his masculine male musk and as she snuggled contently in his arms. With a groan she looked at the alarm clock, it was after two in the morning! "I've really got to go home," she sighed and then with a pout, she pushed herself free of his sweet embrace. "I've got…."

"Stay and be my Valentine…" Jake whispered softly as he gently pulled her willingly back into his arms.

* * *

"Good morning Marie," the ewe in the yellow dress cheerfully called out later that morning as she poked her head into the raccoon's office cubicle. "That's a pretty blouse and skirt you are wearing today, it's almost like the one you were describing that you were going to wear on your Valentine's Day date with Jake last night…oh my!"

"Zip it Eloise," the raccoon replied, thankful that she was facing her computer screen and that the ewe couldn't see her blushing.

"Somebody didn't go home last night!" the ewe giggled as she now peeked over the top of the cubicle.

"I said zip it!" Marie called back, but she had to smile at the sounds of Eloise's laughter.

"Hey Eloise!"

"What now girl?"

"Do you reckon I should tell Jake to stop sending me flowers?"

"Your cubicle already looks like a floral shop!"

"It is getting to be a tad too much," the raccoon sighed as she shoved the latest vase of roses aside.

Across town, the male raccoon was sitting at his office desk while he contently sipped his coffee.

"So Jake, what did you think of Tail's new security system design?" a middle aged rat in a blue suit asked him as he stood at the doorway of the office.

The raccoon didn't answer the rat, but looked out of the office window as he tried to hide his embarrassment.

"Please tell me that you did look at the schematics!" the brown furred rat named James "Jimmy" Ratzoli inquired as he stepped inside the room. He had been Jake's cell mate in prison and was once considered a minor criminal mastermind, having successfully led his own small criminal gang of mice and rat burglars before he got finally busted. After his release on probation, he came looking for Jake because he wanted to go straight and get a legal job. The raccoon at the time was struggling with his own success and hired his friend to take over the administrative part of the company. Jake was a wizard with the security systems and finding clients, but he just couldn't handle the day by day tasks of running a business. Their partnership quickly allowed the company to grow and flourish. "You're supposed to go over this design with our client tonight!"

"I got distracted."

"You got distracted?" the rat groaned in frustration. "I know that yesterday was Valentine's Day and I'm sure you had a date with Marie, but you still should have looked them over after the date ended."

"It just ended a couple hours ago."

"You're kidding?"

"I tried to look at them…but."

"Yeah, sure you did coon!" Jimmy laughed.

"I'll look the plans over today," Jake replied while trying to hide his smile. "After I send Marie another dozen roses or maybe I can find some of those purple tulips like Nick got Judy when they first started dating! Hey, do you know where I can get purple tulips?"

"No Jake, I do not. Now get your head back into the job, you need to impress our client tonight."

"You've just grown old partner and have forgotten what its like to be in love."

"No I haven't, just ask my current wife or any of my ex-wives!"

"So what did you two do for Valentine's Day yesterday?"

"Now Jake, you should…"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Okay, we stayed home and watched television after we got the kits to bed!"

"How romantic!" the raccoon snickered.

"Your day will come!" Jimmy chuckled. "Just wait!"

"I will always be a great romantic!" Jake boasted.

* * *

Many years later, those words would come back to haunt the raccoon as he finally finished tucking his two rambunctious sons into bed…after helping them do their homework…then dinner…then making sure they took their baths…then brushing their teeth… and then finally reading them a goodnight story. All of this on top of working ten hours at his job. Exhausted, Jake slumped into a chair as he looked towards the kitchen where his wife Marie had just finished cleaning up the dishes. She finally came into the room and gave a weary sigh as she picked up the remote control for the television.

"Happy Valentine's Day sweetheart," he said to her as she sat down on the sofa.

"Happy Valentine's Day Sugar," she drawled back.

He stood up and joined her to snuggle on the sofa. Just as he wrapped his arms around her and began to give her a passionate kiss, a little voice cried from upstairs…"Mommy!"

* * *

 **A shout out to** **Kulkum and TheWyvernsWeaver's** **for their classic Zootopian Valentine's Day special,** **Purple Tulips** **. Ya'll can find it over in Deviantart. It has also been this goat's experience that one of the kits or grandkits will always get sick on Valentine's Day and just about every holiday.  
**


	29. Table Conversation

**Chapter 29: Table Conversation**

* * *

 **This chapter shows the friendly interaction between three friends.**

* * *

The small diner was located just a block from the city's court house and the Cardinal Café wasn't anything fancy, its worn steel and sea foam green tile decor hearkened back to the late 1960's. The place was far from being trendy and modern, but it was a working mammal's grub joint and it served affordable comfort food to the lunch crowd.

"I still can't believe he walked free!" Judy fussed as she shoved her unfinished plate of roasted vegetables towards her husband, a handsome red fox in a dark blue police uniform. Her ears had drooped over her back and she looked angry as she pulled her tie loose. Like Nick, since she had been in court, she too was dressed in her so called Class A uniform instead of the tactical patrol uniform which she usually wore. "We had him dead to rights and still Judge Hoofstadter let him off with probation and a slap on the paw!"

"A five thousand fine isn't a mere slap on the paw," her husband Nick mumbled as he chewed on the roasted chunk of squash he had speared from his wife's plate with his fork. His plate of scrambled eggs with fried crickets was already half eaten. "That's a hefty fine in my opinion."

"That's pennies on the dollar to a guy like Munsee!" the rabbit doe protested. Her nose was twitching in frustration. "All that hard work was for nothing."

"He was just a street bookie," the raccoon in the blue pin stripped suit replied as he slapped the bottom of the ketchup bottle with his paw and shook it again. Jake frowned when nothing came out of the bottle. "He only worked the numbers racket, that's all."

"You're doing that wrong," Nick interjected as he snatched the bottle from his best friend's paw and jammed a clean dinner knife into the hole, a large glob of the red condiment plopped out onto the raccoon's plate. "There you go!" he triumphantly proclaimed.

"Gee thanks pal!" Jake sarcastically sighed out as he looked down at the pool of ketchup that covered half his plate. "I was trying to get it on my worm burger, not my fries."

Before the raccoon could react, the fox grabbed the top bun and wiped it through the ketchup before setting it back on top of the burger. "Problem solved!" Nick smugly said before he popped another roasted vegetable into his smirking mouth.

The raccoon threw an agitated look at the fox before he returned his attention back to the pouting rabbit. "Judy can we get you something else to eat?" he asked as he picked up a ketchup soaked fry. "Would you like some of my fries?"

"I've lost my appetite," she winced as she watched as ketchup dripped from the fry before the raccoon ate it. "It's just that the judge was so unfair!"

The raccoon had picked up his burger, but hesitated before he took a bite. "Unfair?" he asked. "Munsee only worked the numbers and those who play the game know the risks, you either win or lose. If you think about it, no one really gets hurt unless you don't cover your bet."

"Gambling is illegal Jake!" Judy angrily snapped back. "Just what part of breaking the law do you not understand?"

"Oh I perfectly understand," the raccoon replied with a thin smile as he sat his uneaten burger down. "But, why is it illegal for Munsee to do it and not for the city? The Lotto is almost the same thing…no, it is the same thing! Gambling is gambling whether it is done privately or sanctioned by the government, it's still the same."

"But the Lotto pays for schooling," Judy protested as she reached over with her fork and speared a roasted vegetable from the plate in front of Nick.

"Why do you do that?" Nick asked as he watched his wife nibble at the carrot.

"Do what?" the rabbit said with a giggle when she saw the look her husband gave her, his head was cocked to one side in confusion. "Oh that! It's because your food always tastes better than mine."

"This is your food," the fox replied as he shoved her plate back towards her.

"But the Lotto…" Jake tried to continue their conversation, but he stopped when the rabbit shoved the plate back towards the fox. "But…but…" he hesitated again as the plate was pushed back and forth between his two now laughing friends. "Just never mind."

The raccoon was just about to bite into his burger again, when he heard Judy say, "I still can't believe he walked free!"

"A five thousand dollar fine isn't walking free," Nick quickly responded before he shoved a fork full of eggs into his mouth and briefly chewed.

"Are we going to start this again?" Jake huffed out as he sat his burger back on the plate.

"Start what?" the rabbit tried to innocently answer without smiling. "I was just saying that the judge…"

The raccoon let out a groan, while the fox just gave him a smirk.


	30. Table Conversation II (April Fools' Day)

**Chapter 30: Table Conversation II (April Fools' Day)**

* * *

 **Nick tries to prank Jake, but things go wrong.**

* * *

It was a beautiful spring day in the park, the dogwood trees were in bloom and their white petals were gleaming against the clear blue sky. Around them the birds were happily singing in the trees, although the sounds of the evening rush hour traffic almost drowned them out. The smoke of a charcoal grill wafted up into the sky and the smell of cooking food was tantalizing.

"I'm concerned about him," Jake whispered in a worried tone across the picnic table to the gray furred rabbit doe dressed in the blue and pink stripped blouse. "Today is April Fools' Day and I have been here for almost an hour, but Nick hasn't tried to pull a prank or two yet on me yet. Do you have any idea what he is up to and why a picnic?"

"I got on his tail about his juvenile antics this morning before we went to work," Judy replied with a smile. "Especially after that prank he tried to pull on me earlier."

"What was that?"

"He filled my panties drawer full of plastic spiders and I think he was disappointed when I wasn't surprised. I just picked up a pawful of them and gave him a grin while I asked him if he had lost something. Really, what farm girl is afraid of spiders?"

"I don't like spiders, but then I'm a city boy."

"Speaking of farm girls, where is Marie tonight?"

"I thought it might be safer if I didn't invite her to this picnic, since it is being held by my sneaky best friend on this particular day of the year. I would hate for Nick to prank her and speaking of which, do you think he did something like put hot peppers into my turkey burger?" The raccoon gave a suspicious look at the fox standing by the grill. In true Nick Wilde fashion, the dark blue apron he wore had a picture of a police badge and the words _"World's Okayest Cop."_ printed on it in bright yellow. Despite the idyllic spring afternoon, the Jake had a feeling of impending doom.

"I've never known him to mess with anyone's food before," Judy replied as she also watched her husband happily cooking the burgers on the grill. The fox's tail was wagging behind him as he concentrated on slicing a large purple eggplant. "He takes his cooking seriously."

"Still, he has to have something planned. It's not like him to let this day pass without trying to get me."

"Last year it was the bucket of water over the doorway."

"No, that was me trying to get him back for his earlier prank."

"That's right! I forgot he had duct taped an air horn to the wall behind the door knob. You should have seen your face when you opened the door and that went off! I didn't know raccoons could jump that high!"

Jake frowned at her giggling.

"Dinner is now served!" Nick announced as he brought a large bowl of salad to the table, along with several slices of grilled eggplant and a couple of delicious looking ground turkey burgers. The fox proudly scooped the eggplant onto a plate, which he handed to his wife, and then a turkey burger onto another plate he handed the raccoon.

"That's okay pal, I'll take the other one," Jake said with a knowing grin as he handed the plate back to the fox. "Not that I don't trust you."

"I'm crushed!" Nick melodramatically sighed as he passed the other burger to his friend. "You know that trust is important to us canids."

"No Nick, it is loyalty and not trust. Besides a trustworthy fox is an oxymoron."

"That was such a prejudice statement from my dearest friend!"

"You know I love you, I just don't trust you today!" Jake scoffed as he reached for the bottle of catsup and after picking it up, he gave it a shake.

"I forgot the drinks!" Nick suddenly announced as he jumped up and seemingly casually walked toward the cooler. "Do you want a soft drink or water?"

"NICHOLAS PIBERIUS WILDE!"

The fox didn't expect the angry voice to be that of his wife Judy and his ears flattened while his tail protectively curled near his feet. He then turned to see that his prank had gone terribly wrong. The unscathed raccoon was looking down at the bottle of red goo, which was still spewing out onto the table. Both of Jake's paws were covering his mouth as he fought to not start laughing at the rabbit sitting across from him.

"Oops?" Nick almost whined at the sight of Judy covered in a red spray of catsup. "I think I used too much baking soda in the bottle!"

"How fast can you run Nick?" Jake finally snickered out before he burst out in laughter at the sight before him.

"Oh, so you think this is funny?" Judy almost growled as she grabbed a glob of the red mess and tossed it into the face of the raccoon.

The raccoon was hysterically laughing as he wiped his face with his paws and shook them, splattering the catsup even more. "If you catch him, I'll shave his tail!" he joked as they both looked up at the grinning fox.

A few minutes later, the laughing friends began to clean up their mess. The raccoon and rabbit were both splattered with red goo and the fox was now drenched with soda.

* * *

 **Warning: Do not do this trick inside your home! The vinegar in the catsup and the baking soda will react together to make a mildly explosive combination. When the bottle is opened, it will spray all over the place!**


	31. Easy Mark

**Chapter 31: Easy Mark**

* * *

 **Jake comes to Nick's rescue.**

* * *

The two friends stood on the snowy sidewalk while they stared at the uncompleted building in front of them. Behind the fox and the raccoon was the bustling waterfront section of Tundratown and in front of them, just past the architectural monstrosity which they were looking at, were the icy waters of the Polar Straits. "I've done some boneheaded things with my money before, including letting a certain fox hustle me out of my last two hundred dollars several years ago, but Nick this beats the cake!" the raccoon named Jake Runnel commented to his best friend. He reached up and tucked his black and white checkered worsted wool scarf under the collar of the fashionable black wool pea coat he was wearing.

The taller red fox named Nick Wilde, just gave his friend a sigh as he wiped some snowflakes off his tacky lime green colored snow jacket. "I know…I know…I should have listened to Finn. He warned me not to take Judy with me to the sales presentation and he was right that she was a soft mark. She got all excited and talked me into agreeing with her…you know I can't say no to the bunny."

"She can be rather convincing in a cute sort of way. So, the hustler got hustled again? You're slipping Nick, between your married life and that of being a cop…well, I hate to say this, but you've become too honest and trusting."

"I just got caught up in Judy's excitement and then there was the fact that the vixen was really sexy and she made it sound like it was the best deal around."

"Huh, the sales agent was a sexy vixen? Let me guess, she had snowy white fur, piercing blue eyes, and looked like she just graduated from collage? I'll bet that she told you this was her first job and if she didn't make this sale they would let her go?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what she told us. Hey, do you know her?"

"I ran across her a few times and she has a really good sales pitch, of course she never went to college. She has been working high pressure sales in Tundratown for a a few years and she once even tried to sell me a used car."

"You don't have a driver's license Jake!"

"That's why I didn't buy the car" the raccoon laughed.

The two friends stood there and watched the snow begin to fall. Finally Jake asked, "What was it that they used to get you to attend? You know the freebie offered to get you to sit through their sales pitch? Please tell me it was a new television, yours is ready for the museum."

"Nope, it was a portable grill. You know one of those fancy ones that use propane and have a cute little stand."

"Dude, you can get one of those things dirt cheap at Moose Mart! You didn't have to buy into a time-share scheme to get one, who wants two weeks on the Polar Straits?"

"At least its beach front property…"

"Just keep telling yourself that fox-trot!" the raccoon laughed out as he shook his head. Then he glanced over and saw the look of concern on his friend's face. "If you'd like, I'll buy you out." he offered.

"Why would you do that?" Nick replied in surprise.

"Because you're my best friend and I've got the money. After all, I'm the richest raccoon in the city."

"Jake, you're not that rich and that's like me boasting that I'm the best fox on the police force."

"You're the only fox on the force," Jake scoffed. "Come on, I know you cops don't make much money and I want to help."

"Thanks, but I can't let you do that."

"Why not, I think it's time that I owned some real estate! A nice little place in Tundratown has been one of my life goals!" Jake lied as he gave the fox a smile.

Nick looked over and gave him a smirk, before he grabbed the raccoon and lovingly scuffed up the fur between his friend's ears. "You are such a liar and a bad one at that," he chuckled. "I'm sure if I work several side jobs, we can afford this place. Plus, maybe someone will want to swap a week or two for their time share in Pawaii?"

"You really believe that?"

"No!"

"Nick…" Jake began as the fox started to trudge his way down the sidewalk, towards the distant subway station. Before he followed, the raccoon glanced back at the building again. He smiled when he saw the name on one of the construction company trucks. "Well I'll be damned!" he softly laughed.

* * *

A few weeks later Nick was standing outside of his favorite coffee shop with a grin on his muzzle. The approaching raccoon tried not to laugh while he watched as the fox in the dark blue police uniform happily wagged his tail. "Wassup bro!" he called over to Nick.

"You won't believe this, but the deal fell through!" the fox excitedly answered. "The builder had to make some design changes and the unit we had bought into was scrapped."

"You two sure were lucky!"

"We got a full refund and the contract was voided. They didn't even try to talk us into investing into another unit!"

"Imagine that?"

Jake watched as his best friend entered into the coffee shop, before he pulled out his cell phone and looked again at the text from Koslov which simply read, _"Done!"_

"Da, the boss is the building's owner," the tall gangster had told him earlier when they had talked on the phone. "He still pretends that he still doesn't like Nick, but you know he treats Judy like she is part of the family and he immediately agreed to cancel the deal. Now don't you forget that the boss and Mrs. Big expect you and Marie at lunch on Sunday, I'll see you then."

Shoving the phone back into his pocket, the happy raccoon smiled as he joined the fox at the counter.

* * *

 **Nick hustled Jake out of two hundred of his ill gotten bucks several years before they became friends. That is why when the two met again, after the raccoon was paroled from jail, Jake punched Nick. It wasn't too smart of Jake to do so, because Nick was now a police officer and on duty. However, this was the event which led them to becoming best friends. (Chapter 1: A Fall From Grace, _Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption_ )**


	32. Sneaky Rabbit!

**Chapter 32: Sneaky Rabbit!**

* * *

 **The girls vs the boys! Yep, old Nick and Jake are in WAY over their ears.**

* * *

"I don't know how you talked me into doing this FOX!" the raccoon in the padded camouflaged jacket snarled as he tried to hide behind the low cinder block wall. "It will be fun you said…you'll have a great time you said…guys versus the girls, we'll whip their tails."

"You could have gotten Marie, but you choked!" Nick snapped back in an aggravated tone.

"I just couldn't!" Jake groaned. "She looked at me with those eyes…"

"You're a wimp!"

"No, I'm a coon in love!"

"Still, there was no good reason why you didn't do it!"

"I couldn't do it…come on, I just couldn't!"

"Annnnnd, now we are paying for it wimp!"

"Quit calling me a wimp!"

"Then get you head into the mission Jake, we need to get Judy first. She's the more dangerous of the two."

"These glasses are fogging up again and I can't even see my own paws. Do I have to wear them?"

"Those are the rules, so stop complaining! You cut to the right and draw her out and then I'll get her."

"Why me? You foxes are supposed to be sneakier!"

"Because you raccoons are just natural targets."

"I can be sneaky too! Did you forget I was once a very successful burglar?"

"You got caught, so you weren't so successful where you?"

"I was set up. There is no way you guys would have never caught me otherwise."

"Sure Jake, keep telling yourself that," Nick snickered as he slipped into a better position. He leaned forward and peeked around the edge of the wall. "I don't see her, but Marie is to the left. She isn't very good at hiding, is she?"

"How would I know, she never tried to hide from me before?" Jake scoffed as tried to also peek at where Nick was looking.

"When I count down from ten, you break to the right and run as fast as you can," Nick commanded. "Weave as you run."

"You are going to cover me…right?"

"Ten! Yes, I said to the right."

"No, I meant right like in correct!"

"Nine!"

"Are you sure this is a good plan?"

"Eight! Yes, it is!"

"I think you should run and I'll cover you!"

"Seven! No, just do it coon!"

"This isn't a bright idea!"

"Six! Trust me!"

"Are you sure?"

"Five, just stick with the plan!"

"Okay, if you think so?"

"Four! Get ready!"

SPLAT!..SPLAT!..SPLAT!

"Hey I just got shot from behind!" Jake exclaimed as he wiped his gloved paw across his shoulder and stared at the wet pink paint on his padded jacket. He then pulled off his goggles and looked over just in time to see a volley of pink paintballs splatter into his best friend's chest plate.

"Three, two, one and bang, you're both tagged!" Judy called out as she stepped from behind a paint stained wall. She held her paintball gun up and grinned as she pretended to be blowing smoke from the barrel. "I got bored of listening to the two of you bickering."

"How did you get behind us?" Nick whined in a disappointed tone. "I didn't hear, see, or smell you!"

"You foxes are not the only sneaky ones around here," the rabbit giggled.


	33. It's a Southern Thing

**Chapter 33: It's a Southern Thing!**

* * *

 **Jake brags about his girlfriend Marie.**

* * *

"You know I'm a city born and bred raccoon and have only left Zootopia three times in my entire life. The first time really doesn't really count, because I was locked up just west of the city in the state penitentiary. The second time was when I led a team of ZPD's best officers, including my pals Nick and Judy, to assist with the search for a pair of lost scouts in the Green Mountains. Finally, there was that trip to a fried chicken sandwich joint just outside the city limits in an unincorporated area called Dog Town.

For being a city raccoon it is hard to believe that I have a county born and bred Southern girlfriend and I can tell you she is sometimes hard to figure out. First and foremost, there are some unique things she says. Sure, I almost melt at the sound of Marie's drawl when she calls me "Sugar". She never calls anyone else that word, just me. Honey, dumpling, and darlin' she might call others, but I am her only Sugar.

Then there is that "I'm a fixin' to" phrase she says when she is going to do something. I made the mistake of laughing the first time she told me she was "fixin' to go over yonder." She then showed me what the phrase "madder than a wet hen" really means too. Afterwards, when I complained that I didn't mean to upset her, she just replied with "bless your heart" and I thought I was forgiven. That is until Judy told me what that really means in country talk.

Finally, there is one of my favorite phrases which she uses when I start talking too much. She will just look into my eyes and smile as she says "hush your mouth". That is usually before she passionately kisses me." The raccoon stopped to take a sip of his drink before continuing, "Yeah, having a Southern born girlfriend is a great thing! Yesterday Marie was standing in the lobby in a pair of tight denim jeans and a simple white peasant shirt, which showed off her feminine curves. She greeted me a heartwarming smile and took my arm as I led her towards the door. I should have known something was wrong when she paused in slight confusion as I stepped forward in a gentlemammaly fashion to open it for her. I had forgotten that the door was automatic and opened by itself. But, at least my foolishness earned me one of her sweet sounding giggles.

Sure, she believes in the equality of the sexes and the gods know that I pleasantly found out that this pretty farm girl could out wrestle me any day of the week. While she might play the sweet little belle of the ball sometimes, she was very much my equal. Okay, she has both the beauty and the brains, which makes her more than my equal.

One of the many hard learned lessons that I quickly discovered, was not to argue college football with her and when she said tailgating, it doesn't mean submarine sandwiches on paper plates. No, a tailgate party is a meticulously and carefully planned out event! It is almost as important as any fine dinner party and you have to include table decorations, special foods, and at least one casserole. To Marie there is college football and then there were all those "other sports", unless you count an old fashioned tractor pull as a sport.

You know she loves to be wined and dined, but some of our best dates are just picnics along the shoreline or dinner from a food truck next to the park. We once went to the Zootopia Botanical Gardens, where she enthusiastically told me all about the apple trees which grew there and more than I really wanted to know about each cultivar. Although she is a highly successful accountant, she still is after all a farmer's daughter."

The raccoon leaned back and smiled before adding, "Yeah, having a Southern born girlfriend is a great thing!"

There was a slight belch from the small fox sitting at the bar next to him and before Jake could pick up his beer to take another sip, Finnick snatched it away from his paw. "Runnel, has Nick ever told you that you talk too much when you drink?"

"No, why?"

"Well you do and if you tell me one more thing about your girlfriend, I'll stick your ugly mug in this beer mug!"

The raccoon huffed and grabbed his beer as he stared over at the fox. "Well it's not my fault you can't keep a girlfriend!"

"One more word and I'll bite your face off!"

"Do…"

"What did I just say?"

"I was only going to ask you if you wanted another drink?"

"Make it two and I'll let you talk about your girlfriend some more."

"It's a deal!" the raccoon enthusiastically replied as he waved to get the bartender's attention.


	34. New Wounds

**Chapter 34: New Wounds**

* * *

 **A tale of true friendship, as one pal watches out for the other. This takes place after Jake is attacked and almost killed by a trained killer seeking revenge for his role in saving Fru Fru from kitnappers. (Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption, Chapter 20: Savage Allies)**

* * *

Just like every big city, Zooptopia is a city that never truly sleeps. Even in the early morning hours, there was still traffic on the streets and lights brightly shining inside many of the buildings. Street lamps illuminated the darkness as if it was daytime, but it was the peaceful darkness which the tired looking raccoon was seeking as he sat hunched over on a bench in the park across the street from the hotel where he lived. His nightmares had caused Jake to abandon any further attempt at sleeping and he now sat in the soft rain, watching as drops of water drip from the tree branch in front of him splashed into the puddle below. His grey fur was plastered against his skin, soaked with rain water just like the old white sweatshirt and shorts he had pulled on before he wandered out of his room and into the dark park.

The scabs around his wounds itched, but he didn't move to scratch them. With his ears flat against his forehead and his black and grey ringed tail lying limp against his feet, he watched the water continue to drip. Then the sounds of paws splashing on the wet pavement brought him out of his deep musings and he momentarily panicked at the sight of a figure approaching in the darkness, as if he expected the dead skunk to be returning to finish him off with his sharp blade.

"Can't sleep?" the red fox in the dark blue police issued rain slicker called out as he approached the raccoon. He held two steaming Styrofoam cups of coffee in his paws.

"How did you know I was out here?" Jake asked as the fox named Nick approached the bench.

"Trisha called me," Nick answered as he handed his best friend one of the cups. "She called after she watched you walk like an idiot into the pouring rain."

"For a black bear she sure is observant at four in the morning, I'd didn't think she saw me."

"You had to walk straight by the reception desk coon, how could she have missed you?"

The raccoon shifted over so the fox could sit down next to him on the bench.

"You're soaked to the bone," Nick finally stated after sipping his coffee. "Are you having nightmares again?"

"Just the same one over and over again, the skunk and his knife…the ice glittering in the dim light…the moon shining…"

"I was afraid this would happen when you told me that Marie was going out of town for a few days and you would be all alone in the penthouse."

"I can at least sleep when she's with me, I never liked being alone," Jake finally yawned out. "My shrink is going to love me telling her about tonight, she already says I have separation anxiety issues. Something about being left all alone too much when I was little, not that my dad didn't do the best he could? I mean, he did have to work a lot of long hours just to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table."

"Make sure that you tell her that you were rescued again by a dashingly handsome fox!" Nick chuckled in reply.

Jake didn't answer, but instead stared at the cup in his paw. Finally he looked over at the fox and asked, "So you're all dressed up for work already, you going in early?"

"Nope, I just got off. Bogo assigned me to the K-9 Unit again for a sniff and find drug raid. I'm really going to have to buy him a new pair of glasses. I swear that he must think that I'm a short reddish orange wolf."

"Trust me Nick when I tell you that he knows you are all fox. So how did the raid go?"

"It was going fine until Wolford smelled there was nip and Captain Huntersnout yanked me off the detail. He kept mumbling something about nip and foxes don't mix."

"Yeah, you might look like a wolf, but sometimes you act more like a cat," the raccoon chuckled.

"You coons go loopy as much as any fox or cat on that stuff too!" Nick snickered as he lightly punched his friend on his shoulder. "We won't even talk about what it does to rabbits."

"Speaking of which, where is Judy?"

"She is working a case with Detective Oates."

"Doesn't it bother you that she is being groomed for detective and you are still working the streets?"

"Pfft! Do you think they'd ever give a fox a chance to become a detective?"

"Good point, when they moved Fangmeyer up to sergeant, they left Wolford behind and he is just a capable as the tiger."

"Wolves are seen as being all noses and no brains. They shoehorn them into either patrol or the K-9 unit. I think that's where my career is going to continue."

"You could always quit and come to work for me."

"That would really upset the PR guys. You know how they love to trot me and Carrots out whenever they are trying to prove that the ZPD is being inclusive. Hey guys, here is the fox police officer and he's married to a rabbit too!" Nick sarcastically replied. "They won't talk about why we keep turning down other foxes trying to join the force."

The rain began falling harder and the fox looked up towards the heavens. "Don't you think it's time that you went back inside?" he asked the soaked raccoon.

"You don't need you to babysit me Nick, you do know that?"

"Hey the night is shot anyhow, let's get back inside and get dried off. Maybe there is something on the television? You get all those free cable channels that Carrots is too cheap to pay for, let's see what's on the tube during this time of the morning?"

The fox followed the dripping raccoon through the hotel lobby and into the elevator, he nodded towards the black bear sitting behind the desk before he turned to watch as Jake inserted his key card and pressed the button for the top floor. After a few more moments, the raccoon unlocked the suite's door and left the fox in the living room as he padded towards the bathroom to find a towel and a change of clothes.

Nick admired the newly remodeled suite. Almost for as long as he had known Jake, the raccoon had lived in this three star business hotel. He had at first occupied a smaller business suite several floors lower, as a guest of the building's owner Mister Big. The small raccoon had actually saved both the shrew and his associate Koslov from a gang leader named Ronnie Charger. Jake had used his knowledge of the martial arts to bring the huge rhino down by using, of all things, a shovel.

The much larger penthouse suite they were now inside was also a gift from the shrew, this time for saving his daughter Fru Fru from a kitnapper by the name of Renaldo LePew. The skunk was one of the world's most dangerous mercenaries and an expert with the blade. Unfortunately after Fru Fru's rescue, LePew had tracked Jake down and seeking revenge, he had ambushed the raccoon in the ice garden at Big's mansion in Tundratown . Jake would have died in the darkness that predawn morning if it hadn't been for a mysterious jackrabbit, who the raccoon claimed was a secret agent named Jack Savage. Of course, there was no official record of such a character ever existing, but someone had also broken into one of the most secure mansion in the city and shot the skunk dead before he could finish killing Jake.

Nick dug around the kitchen and found what he was seeking. Filling the kettle with water, he put it on stove and added a pawful of dried leaves. Honeybush tea was one of Jake's favorite teas and something an old girlfriend nicknamed Diamonds had introduced the raccoon to during their brief, but passionate romance. Their love affair had only ended when the pretty cape jackal returned to her homeland across the seas.

After the tea had seeped enough and Nick poured his still damp friend a cup as the raccoon lounged on the sofa across from the television. They had found an old black and white classic movie for them to watch. Taking a seat in the nearby chair, the fox propped his feet on the table and watched the movie.

Soon there was the soft sound of snoring from the sofa and the fox and smiled that the raccoon had finally fallen into a peaceful slumber. He stood up and pulled a throw blanket over his best friend's sleeping body, slightly ruffling the fur between his ears. Jake muttered something and tensed up slightly.

"I'm here buddy and you are safe!" Nick whispered into his friend's ears and Jake relaxed in his sleep.

After sitting back into the nearby chair, the fox texted his wife Judy that he was going to stay there and keep any eye on his friend. Then he leaned back and soon fell asleep himself.


	35. Court Tales

**Chapter 35: Court Tales**

* * *

 **Jake has lunch with his friends again and listens to Nick's story about a court case. This chapter plays off of** **Chapter 29: Table Conversation.**

* * *

Judy reached up and tucked her blue tie inside of her dark blue police uniform before she picked up her fork and poked at the plate of roasted vegetables. The rabbit and her husband both had been in court that day, since one of the cases that they had solved had gone to trial. She gave an aggravated sigh as she looked over at Nick.

"Carrots, that had to be the worst case of witness questioning in history!" The fox chuckled as he chewed a mouthful of scrambled eggs. He too was dressed in his police issued Class A uniform, but he had rolled the sleeves of his dark blue uniform shirt up and was how showing his reddish orange colored fur covered arms. "I couldn't help but burst out laughing at the questions that dumb attorney kept asking the mortician."

"We were in court Nick! You're supposed to be serious and respectful in court!"

"Oh come on Fluff, even the judge shook his mane is disbelief when that snotty muzzled attorney asked the doctor if he had checked the corpse for a pulse before he performed the autopsy?"

"So what?" the raccoon in the blue suit, who was sitting across the table from the police officers, asked the laughing fox. "That seems a reasonable question."

"No Jake, it gets even better! Then the attorney asked if it was possible that the patient may have been alive when he began the autopsy?"

"I do still not understand why you think that that question is so funny?"

The rabbit now had a smile on her face as she answered the raccoon's question. "Because, the top of victim's head had been sliced off during the accident and his brain was in a jar."

"Oh…oh!" the raccoon chucked. "What did the doctor say?"

"He…he…he…" Nick tried to answer, but he was laughing so hard that there were tears in his eyes.

"The attorney then asked if the patient might have still been alive, nevertheless." Judy giggled as she answered.

"To which…Ha! Ha! Ha!...to which, the doctor answered said yes…and…and that he that he was obviously brain dead enough to be practicing law!" Nick almost yowled out in laughter.

Jake laughed as he looked up at the fox. The raccoon was struggling with the catsup bottle, trying to pour the red condiment onto his worm burger but it wasn't coming out.

"Here, let me…" the fox said as he tried to snatch the bottle from Jake's paws.

"Don't! The last time you helped, you got catsup everywhere but on my burger!"

"I do you a favor and this is the way you treat your best friend?"

"Oh, don't you try to play the victim this time fox! I can pour my own catsup, it just takes time."

"Carrots and I only have an hour for lunch coon, so come on!" the fox tried to grab the bottle again, but the raccoon pulled it away with a jerk. As he did so, a glob of the red catsup flew across the table and smacked into the rabbit's dark blue uniform shirt.

"Jake!" Judy yelled in aggravation.

"It's Nick's fault, he made me do it!" Jake yelled in a panic.

"What did I do?" Nick yelled back with a smirk.

"Oh never mind!" Judy sighed as she stood up and hopped out of her chair. "I'm going to the bathroom to wash this out. Living with you two is like having two overgrown children, always squabbling and causing trouble."

Nick leaned back in his chair and watched as his wife stormed towards the bathroom, he always admired the way his wife's short fluffy cottony tail wiggled when she walked.

* * *

 **This chapter was based on an old lawyer joke. Yes, I prefer the older county spelling of catsup and not** **ketchup. I also blame** **Del Monte for the confusion, because they rebranded their bottles in the 1980's.**


	36. A Jail Break

**Chapter 36: A Jail Break**

* * *

 **This is story is based on the promotional video featuring a Zootopian version of the talented Vine star, filmmaker and YouTube personality, Zach King.**

* * *

Nick sat in a swivel chair deep inside the research department at Runnel Security in downtown Zootopia. The fox had his feet propped up upon the corner of a nearby counter as he watched while the company's owner and his best friend, Jake Runnel, stared at a video being displayed on an oversized computer screen as it played the same scene over and over again. Standing behind the raccoon dressed in the blue business suit, was an overweight nerdy looking bobcat in an old worn Captain Zootopia t-shirt and on the cat's shoulder sat a small mouse in a pink sport shirt. "I don't get it?" the mouse named Jerry squeaked. "Play it over again Ben, I just don't get how he did that?"

"Yeah Ben, rewind it again!" the raccoon called out in an exasperated tone as the bobcat ran the tape backwards and then let it cycle through again. The confused former burglar was absentmindedly pulling on his right ear in frustration as he watched the video for the umpteenth time. "Are you sure that these are the same group of jail cells?"

"The same cells…the same locks…everything is just the same as they were that time you were invited to spend the night in one of the precinct's holding cells," Nick answered. The cameras did not show inside the cells, but only the hallway from either end. "Bogo figured that since you are able to pick those cell door locks and wander freely around the station whenever you want too, that maybe you could figure out just how this guy escaped?"

"First of all I wasn't invited, I was arrested and I only left the cell that one time!" Jake protested as he gave the fox a grin. "I told Bogo that I wasn't trying to escape and that I had just left for a few minutes to get myself a cup of coffee."

"You picked the lock to the cell and then the locks down the hallway, before you snuck up into the breakroom," Nick sighed as he shook his head. "Then you got caught messing with the coffee machine."

"It was broken and so I fixed it! That was a long time ago, before you and Judy even joined the force, and what thanks did I get for all my effort? Not a thank you very much, instead they locked me up for eighteen months in the state penitentiary!"

"You got that for trying to rob the Field Brothers Auction House. Come on coon, you got caught red pawed in front of the safe."

"I was set up!"

"You were still guilty."

"There goes the fat rhino!" Jerry suddenly called out. "Dang Wilde, don't you cops ever have to take a physical?"

The fox didn't answer but chuckled as he watched the mouse standing on his rotund bobcat friend's shoulder.

"Okay, look these are the old fashioned doors and they swing outward," Ben said as he stared the video. He was oblivious to everything being said as he intently concentrated on watching the video again in slow motion. "Now look again! There is the wolf in the hallway and it almost looks like he just stopped jumping. Why is there is no open door showing? "

"So it must still be closed!" Jerry mused. "Which means that it was never opened? I don't get it?"

"If he didn't pick the lock and open the door, then how did he get out?" Nick asked.

"I don't know!" the raccoon groaned in frustration.

"Yeah, this still doesn't make sense," Jerry added. "That and the fact that he is now only in his underwear, didn't he have some blue jeans and a green jacket on when they locked him up?"

The fox nodded yes.

"So, then why didn't he wear the rest of his clothes when he left?" the mouse continued.

"Yeah, he looks surprised that he is only in his underwear and then he grabs his cap and runs!" Ben added.

Jake leaned forward and stared at the gray furred wolf on the screen. "What did you say this guy's name was again?" he finally asked.

"Zed…no, that's not it…I think it was Zach!" Nick replied as he sat up and reached for a manila folder on the counter. "Hold on, I have his file right here."

The raccoon and his team never did figure out how the wolf escaped, it was almost like magic.


	37. Fishing with Bears

**Chapter 37: Fishing with Bears**

* * *

 **Neither Jake nor Nick are renowned for their outdoor skills, both are children of the big city. Jake goes fishing with Kevin, who is one of Mister Big's polar bears.**

* * *

Jake should have known that something was wrong when he glanced over at his best friend Nick and saw that the red fox in the old jeans and vintage rock band shirt was giving him "one of those" smirks. "So you are really going fishing with Kevin?" Nick asked as he watched the raccoon excitedly laying out all kinds of brand new fishing gear.

"Yeah, it sounds like fun," Jake answered as he tried to pull on a pair of green waders. He frowned at the feeling of the having his foot paws covered by the waterproof rubber material. "I always wanted to try fishing."

"Jake buddy, you are the only raccoon I know of who hates water."

"I don't hate water!"

"The last time we went fishing, you got seasick."

"The ocean was rough that day!"

"Coon, we hadn't even left the shelter of the harbor before you started tossing your cookies."

"That was deep sea fishing and this is in a river, no boats allowed," Jake replied as he pulled on a grey fishing vest. He then gave a little shudder when he added, "No sharks either!"

"Okay, I'll give you points for the shark incident," Nick laughed. "I haven't shown any interest in ocean fishing or fishing in general after that day."

The raccoon stood there dressed in a red plaid shirt, a grey vest, and the green rubber waders as he held a fishing pole on one paw and a wicker basket in the other. He wore a tan floppy cloth hat on his head which had fishing lures stuck in it and a floaty around his waist, Jake looked ridiculous. "Are you really sure you don't want to come along?" he asked as he slowly squished and squeaked into the room. "I got you some gear too!"

"Ah Jake, just what kind of fishing are you planning to do?" Nick snickered as he fought to keep from bursting out in hysterical laughter at how silly the raccoon looked.

"Kevin said the salmon are running, whatever that means?"

"Have you ever seen a salmon before?"

"Just a filet cooked on my dinner plate with butter sauce, why?"

"Well whoever you bought all that…that stuff from, sold you trout fishing gear."

"I got all of this from Bills Pro Shop downtown, you know that outdoor place. Won't it work for any fish?"

"You have got to be the biggest city slicker around!"

"So says the guy who never left the Big Z until he met his wife."

"Being rabbits, Judy's family does not fish. Still, do you have any idea how a bear like Kevin catches salmon?"

"I would think with a fishing rod, don't they?"

With a grunt, the fox stood up and walked over to the raccoon's lap top and began to type something into it. A video popped up on Ewe-Tube. "Come here coon!"

Jake looked over the fox's shoulder and watched as huge bears waded into some rapids. Fish were leaping in the air as they tried to swim up the rushing water and the bears were catching them with either their paws or teeth. "That's how bears fish!" Nick laughed. His ears flicked in surprise when there was a loud thump as Jake dropped his rod and reel while he stared at the screen.

"I can't do that! Some of those fish are bigger than me!"

"Are you ready to go Jake?" a deep voice growled from the doorway and both the fox and raccoon looked over to see a large polar bear standing there. Kevin was dressed in an old tee shirt and a pair of blue swim shorts with prints of penguins on them. "What's with all that gear, you look ridiculous?"

Jake looked at his white furred friend, then at the fox, and finally once again at the video on the lap top. His ears wilted at the sound of the fox's laughter. Straightening up, he turned back towards Kevin and said in a determined voice, "You stay put, I just going to change into my swim shorts."

Nick rolled his eyes as he watched the raccoon uncomfortably waddle towards his bedroom. "You really aren't going to let him try to fish like you bears do?" he asked Kevin.

"Gods no, those fish would put him in the hospital! I was going to suggest he dig around the rocks for some crayfish, I heard raccoons are really good at catching them."

"Most are, but we are talking about Jake and about the only thing that poor coon can catch is a cold."

A few days later, Nick and Judy had Joined Jake and Marie back at the raccoon's downtown penthouse suite for dinner. Since he had saved Fru Fru from some kitnappers, Mister Big had gifted him one of the finest suites on top of the luxurious business hotel he owned. Kevin was also present and after a few cocktails, room service delivered their dinner of broiled salmon with a caper sauce and roasted vegetables for Judy. "This is from the salmon I caught while fishing with Kevin!" Jake announced as he handed Nick his phone which showed a picture of the sopping wet raccoon standing next to a salmon that was larger than he was, a familiar large white paw was holding up the fish by its gills.

"You caught that?" Judy asked in a skeptical tone. "Jake, that fish is larger than you."

"I was poking around the rocks, looking for crayfish and saw the fish in the water nearby. So, I pounced upon its back," Jake began to explain as everyone sat down.

"You pounced on a large fish?" Nick laughed.

"Yes!"

"You jumped on a fish, which weighed more than you do, and caught it?"

"Kind of…well, Kevin helped me catch it."

"Helped you?"

"He grabbed the fish by its tail, just as it was beginning to leap," Kevin chuckled as he looked down at the raccoon. "I saw this big fish flopping around with a screaming raccoon holding tightly on to it as they both began to go downstream, so I scooped them both up."

"See Mister Smartyfox, I caught the fish…kind of!"

Everyone laughed and the fish was delicious.

* * *

 **For more about Nick and Jake's infamous fishing trip, read Chapter 10 of Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption.**


	38. Dancing in the Desert

**Chapter 38: Dancing in the Desert**

* * *

 **Best buddies always help each other out and Jake teaches Nick how to dance the Zootopian version of the Texas Two-Step. This story was inspired by the song** " **Old Town Road** " **by Lil Nas X.  
**

* * *

"So tell me Sugar, did you and Nick have a good day?" Marie asked as she looked at the handsome male raccoon who had just walked into the room. She was trying her best not to laugh or let her tail flick in amusement when she saw him.

"It was okay, we went over to help Finn get his van running again," the male raccoon answered as he went into the kitchen and rummaged around for a glass.

Patiently she waited until he rattled some ice cubes into the glass and filled it up with water from the refrigerator door dispenser. She struggled to keep her tail from flicking as she watched with amusement as he drank some of the cold water and smacked his lips. "It was really hot out there today," he finally continued. "I wish that fox's beat up old van had broken down somewhere a bit colder than Sahara Square."

As he walked over to give her a kiss, Marie finally began to giggle. "Is that all you two did?" she finally snickered out as she held her phone behind her so he couldn't see it.

"Yeah…why?"

* * *

 **Hours Earlier**

It was hot, really hot, as the midday sun beat down upon the old Lobos Z1 van that was parked in an half abandoned, weed overgrown gravel parking lot just outside of downtown Sahara Square. Sitting in the shade of the van's tailgate, a lanky red fox panted as he sipped on a bottle of water. The fox name Nick, had stripped off his shirt and was only in a pair of ragged looking denim blue jeans. He was waving an old scrap piece of cardboard as a makeshift fan to cool off his reddish orange furry chest.

"Damn fox, you didn't tell me that Finn had broken down in the middle of the freaking desert!" a nearby raccoon complained as he began to unbutton his sweat soaked white dress shirt in an effort to cool off some. He pulled the shirt's tails from out of the inside of the waist band of his pants and then rolled up the sleeves.

"I told you Jake that he had broken down just outside of Sahara Square. You should have dressed for the heat."

"What do you mean? I wore my blue and white seersucker suit and that's tropical."

Nick scoffed as he rolled his eyes and gave the raccoon a smirk. "Has anyone ever told you that you spend too much money on clothes?"

"Yeah, you do all the time!"

"Have you ever considered that I might be right?"

"Nope, I like dressing nicely. When I was growing up, all I had to wear was hand me downs that my pop bought at the thrift store."

"There is nothing wrong with thrift store clothing. I buy some of my clothes at those shops."

"Yeah, I can tell. You sometimes look like a raggedy fox doll."

"Come on coon, I have some nice clothes too!"

"Your police uniform does not count and definitely not those tacky tropical shirts which you insist on wearing with that same damn tie."

"Hey, that's my trademarked look! Besides I've got a nice blue suit and a blazer."

"Your suit is off the rack from a Targoat, or someplace like that, and that blazer is the one I gave you for your birthday. I don't think you've even worn it yet?"

"The suit came from Mousy's and I wore that blazer just last week while doing some undercover work downtown…"

"Wait! You wore that nice expensive blazer to do cop work?" the raccoon huffed out.

"I also wore it on Valentine's Day when I took Carrots out to dinner."

"That's better," Jake muttered as he climbed up into the back of the van and rummaged around in an old leaky cooler. "We're out of bottled water, did Finn say when he was going to get back with that part he needed?"

"He just went down the road to the auto parts supply store, I sure he'll be back in a few more minutes."

"Knowing Finn, he probably sitting in a nice cool bar and drinking a beer, while laughing about us sitting out here sweltering in the midday heat."

Jake pulled a can from the icy water and looked at it with his head cocked in confusion. "What the heck, I didn't take Finn as being a bottled green tea drinker."

"The fox likes his green tea with mint," Nick answered. "He's very particular when he brews it. Tea with mint is a traditional fennec fox thing and if he offers you a cup, you better drink it or he'll get grumpy and insulted if you don't."

"You mean Finn can get grumpier then he already is?" Jake laughed out and he unscrewed the bottle's top and took a gulp. "Not bad!"

"I don't know which is worse, the sun beating down on us or sitting here inside this van where it is almost like an oven?" the fox complained.

Sitting down of the van's bumper, Jake looked over at Nick. "So what's bothering you bro?" he finally asked. "You've been off your game all morning."

"It's nothing important."

"Come on, spill it fox!"

"Okay…okay! Judy's family is coming to town and they want to go to one of those Western themed dance clubs."

"So what, it sounds like a blast?"

"I don't know how to dance to that stuff and I'd hate for my honey bunny to miss out on all of the fun."

"Well Amigo, I just happen to be an expert in doing the good old Western two-step!"

"That's right, you used to go dancing with your old girlfriend Diamonds at that honky-tonk over in the Canyonlands!"

"The bar is called the Desert Rose and that's where she taught me how to dance to Coyote Outlaw Music."

"That's not all that cute little cape jackal taught you," Nick snickered. "We always worried when you two were together, you were too much alike."

"She was an insurance investigator and I am a retired thief, we weren't anything alike! Well come to think of it, we both were fascinated in security systems and high-end burglary cases. Anyways, we were only friends…friends with benefits," Jake replied with a grin. "Come on, I'll teach you a step or two."

"What, I can't dance with you! That would be weird."

Pulling out his phone, Jake went online and located a twangy sounding country song. "Come on Nick, it won't be weird."

Nick took the raccoon's paw as they stepped out into the field. "Now put your other paw on my waist and then step back," Jake began and then he hesitated. "Wait! You need to learn to lead, so step forward with your left paw. Not on my foot paw you clumsy fox, watch where you're stepping!"

"Sorry!"

"Okay, follow me! Step-together, walk, walk. Step-together, walk, walk. That's it keep going. Now we will do the Sweetheart move, side by side, put your right hand on my right shoulder…that's it! Keep moving Nick."

They danced together until they heard the crunching of gravel from Finn's wagon. "What have you two yahoos been doing?" the small fox asked as he came into view.

"Nothing, just killing time while we waited for you to return," Nick tried to casually answer. "Come on and let's get this thing working."

* * *

Breaking out in laughter, Marie finally showed Jake the video which Clawhauser had sent her. It was from a traffic camera and in the very background, behind the roadway, was a male raccoon dancing with a bare chested red fox tod. Fortunately, the picture was too grainy to make out who they were. "Care to explain this, Sugar?" she asked with a grin.

"Good gods, there was a camera at the intersection!" His ears wilted and his tail tucked under his legs.

"There was a camera," she giggled. "You and Nick dance together just divine."

"This is embarrassing!"

"You taught Nick the Western two-step?" Marie giggled. "How sweet!"

"Well he is my best friend."

"Oh look the video is trending, everyone wants to know who you two are?"

Jake just groaned as he sipped his water. Turning to go into their bedroom, so he could shower and change, he paused when Marie called to him, "Hey Sugar, could you teach me to dance too?"

Grabbing her paw, he pulled her towards the bedroom door. "Sure thing!"

"Sugar, I don't think this is how you dance the two-step?" she giggled as he quickly scooped her up into his arms and kicked the bedroom door shut behind them.


	39. The Graduate

**Chapter 39: The Graduate**

* * *

 **Jake finally finishes something he started before he became a burglar.**

* * *

Jake tossed the strange looking black hat onto the table in front of the red fox,who was sitting there dressed in a dark blue police uniform clutching a cup of coffee. "So what did you do, rob a costume store?" the fox named Nick asked as he picked up the flat cap with his paw, while he sipped his coffee.

"It's my graduation cap, my mortarboard!"

"Graduate, you can't mean like in college?"

"Duh, I finally finished my degree in Mechanical Engineering!" the raccoon laughed.

"Wait! When did you have time take classes?"

"I completed my degree by taking online courses."

"I thought you gave up on finishing college? You once told me that you didn't need a degree."

"Well, I was over at Mister Big's mansion and playing cards with the bears…"

"You mean losing to the bears in cards."

"Okay, so I was losing again. Anyways, we got talking about some of the things we regretted not doing…hey, did you know that Kevin wanted to play in a jazz band?"

"That's a scary thought!"

"So, I brought up that I never completed college and Koslov said that I needed to finish. He kept bugging me about it until I finally gave in and signed up for classes."

"Kind of like the way Finnick badgered me into getting my GED."

"I took the online courses and finally finished, I even didn't tell Marie until I was done."

Like Nick, Jake Runnel had grown up on the "wrong side of town", the predator heavy streets of what was once ironically called Happy Town. The formally prosperous mill town had economically crashed during the Sixties and was gobbled up by the ever expanding city of Zootopia. The working poor and unemployed who lived there were cramped in poor housing and tenements. Deprivation, despair and desperation became the underlying community culture and it was combined with crime, drugs, and violence. Street gangs and not the police, controlled almost every block of the town.

Also like the fox, the raccoon was raised by a single parent. Jake's father did his best to keep his son on the right track of life. Unlike Nick however, the raccoon's defining moment wasn't at the tender age of twelve. Jake was that "good student", the ones who give the worn out intercity teachers that faint glimmer of hope for the future. He applied himself in school, studying when all his classmates had given up or dropped out, trying to better himself. The young raccoon's goal had always been to go to college to get a degree in Mechanical Engineering.

Nick had abandoned his dreams the night he was bullied when he tried to join the scouts, he came away an angry, cynical young tod and instead of fighting the stereotype of what others thought a fox should be, he instead embraced it and became just another street hustler. Jake however, succeeded in graduating from high school and attended the University of Zootopia on a rare predator scholarship. He applied himself in college, keeping his grades up and doing all of this despite having to take the long bus route home to the squalor of his distant neighborhood every night.

Just one semester away from finishing, fate kicked his feet out from underneath him. His father was killed by a drunk driver, run over on the streets in a hit and run accident. The raccoon in a city sanitation uniform was callously left to die in the trash he was picking up and the death of his father was Jake's final downfall. He and his father had always lived paycheck to paycheck and they had little in the way of savings. With the medical bills and then the funeral costs, Jake spent all they had and was forced to drop out of school and try to find a job. That is when he faced the reality of society's prejudices. A raccoon was expected to be a sanitation worker, a factory worker, or a thief, but definitely never to have a white-collar career.

When the raccoon fell, he hit the bottom hard. Unable to pay his rent and find a job with a decent wage, he ended up on the streets. Angry and bitter, he lived in an old motel turned flop house located along one of the city's worse streets, the infamous River Street. It was there among the hard working poor, the homeless, the drug addicts, the prostitutes and the strippers, that he found a new life and new friends. Like Nick had, Jake embraced the stereotype of what society expected him to "become" and it was that of being a burglar. He was good at it too, but he applied his great skills in a mediocre way by robbing only those he deemed deserved it by the way they treated others and by doing so, not all his crimes were reported to the police. But that was the past and the raccoon's life had changed for the better, no small thanks to the fox sitting next to him.

He looked over at that fox, expecting Nick to say something sarcastic about being almost thirty years old and just now finally getting his college degree, but instead the fox was smiling as he held the cap. A reddish orange paw reached over and ruffled the grey and black fur between the younger raccoon's ears. "So when's the graduation ceremony? Also, you can expect Carrots and I to throw you a big party afterwards," Nick happily said as his tail wagged in joy. "You've done good coon! Yeah, you've done real good pal."

For Jake, those words of approval from his best friend were worth far more than any diploma.


	40. Raccoon Day Special – Raccoon City

**Chapter 40: Raccoon Day Special – Raccoon City (Not that one!)**

* * *

 **Today is International Raccoon Appreciation Day** **and so we celebrate with just a very short chapter about our ring tailed friends.**

* * *

Nick popped the top of his soda as he looked over the raccoon's shoulder. "So you're thinking about taking Marie someplace up north for a honeymoon?" he asked as he watched Jake using his laptop to scroll though pictures of a city sitting on the banks of a blue lake. "Nice place, but it looks too cold for me. I took Carrots to Pawaii for our honeymoon and it was exactly what I was almost expecting."

"Almost expecting?" the raccoon asked as he looked up at his best friend's grin. "What does that mean?"

"Nice beaches, plenty of surf and sunshine, just like I expected," the fox answered with a shrug.

"So what was the problem?"

"I married a bunny, so I barely got out of our bungalow."

"I don't know how you keep up with her fox?"

"I take plenty of vitamins." Nick laughed as he reached over to the computer and scrolled the screen page down. "The Hockey Hall of Fame is there?"

"Yeah, that's not my favorite sport. I prefer sports played somewhere warmer."

"That needle like tower looks like some weird spaceship. Look at all those mammals on the streets! Moose, beavers, deer, a few wolverines and look at all those raccoons!"

There were pictures of restaurants which catered to raccoons, bars full of raccoons, pictures with raccoons and more raccoons in them.

"Yeah, we raccoons kind of run the place," Jake pulled up a photo of the city's mayor, a handsome black furred masked raccoon.

"What is this place, some kind of raccoon sanctuary?"

"No, it's the City of Toronto."

* * *

 **Our friends in the Canadian City of Toronto declared war of the city's Trash Pandas and lost. Toronto is the "Raccoon Capitol of the World"! Just how well are those fancy "raccoon proof" green bins really working for ya'll up there?**


	41. The Ketchup Kaper

**Chapter 41: The Ketchup "Kaper"**

* * *

 **Judy has a problem with the red delicious condiment, but this time it's not Jake's fault.**

* * *

The small diner was located just a block from the city's court house and the Cardinal Café wasn't anything fancy, it's worn steel and chrome decor hearkened back to the late 1970's. The place may not have been trendy and modern, but it was a working mammal's grub joint and it served affordable comfort food to the lunch crowd. In one of the restaurant's old booths was a familiar looking raccoon in an expensive blue suit and a lean red fox in his dark blue police uniform.

"So Nick, I thought Judy was going to meet us for lunch today?" the raccoon named Jake asked as he picked up a bottle of catsup and gave it a shake. "Did your hunny bunny stand you up again?"

"Catsup!" the fox just answered as he gave the raccoon a smirk, the kind of annoyingly charming smirk that only a member of his species can give.

"Hey, wait your turn!" Jake snapped back at him as he held the condiment bottle over the top of his worm burger and waited for the red goodness to finally, but slowly pour out. "You can have it when I'm done."

"No, the reason Carrots is not here is because of catsup."

"She's avoiding me because of a couple of times I've accidentally got catsup on her uniform? As I recall, you were the real cause of those spills."

"Yeah coon, you better have your memory tested. You are now blaming your poor best friend for your sloppy eating habits, is that because I'm a fox?"

"Oh don't give me that "poor little ol' me, I'm a fox" routine," Jake punctuated his words by using air quotations with his paw. "You know me better than that!"

"Then is it because I'm a cop?" Nick grinned as he twirled his fork in his paw. "I know how you preds hate the fuzz."

"Ha…ha…NOT! You complain about my so called sloppy eating habits, have you ever watched a fox eat soup? With that pointy muzzle of yours, I find it amazing that you can keep anything in it!"

"So says the coon who is always poking and pawing at everything before he eats it."

"Hey, at least I chew my food! You just tear, chomp and then swallow!"

"That's better then you sitting there gnawing at it!"

"Now you got me confused with your wife," Jake began laughing. "You know she's the one with the long ears, cute tail, and…"

"Hey perv that's my wife you're talking about!" Nick laughed back. "Besides, don't let her hear you calling her cute!"

"Well here's the damn catsup, why are you going to put it on your crickets in marinara sauce anyways?"

"No, I didn't want the catsup. You asked me why Carrots wasn't here and I told you."

"You told me it was because of catsup, Nick that makes no sense?"

"Bogo sent us with a warrant to raid a warehouse over in Sahara Square. It seems that there was a gang of weasels counterfeiting catsup."

"Wait, why would someone even think that was a good idea? I mean catsup isn't that expensive."

"Well if you slap a "K" on the label and call it "Ketchup", it can be worth a lot more," Nick answered.

"Sure it's the premium stuff, spelled with a "K" that they serve in the upscale restaurants."

"So it turns out that they were using the cheap stuff to rebottle it into empty bottles of the expensive brand and then selling it as the premium goods."

"So what has that got to do with Judy?"

"Once you open a bottle, it seems that microbes get into the sauce and if you store it in a hot warehouse..."

"Gas builds up inside and when the pressure gets too much for the bottle…" Jake began finishing his friend's sentence.

"Boom!"

"So it went boom? Still Nick, what does that have to do with Judy not being here?"

"They opened a crate and Carrots was standing in front of it…" Nick began laughing.

"O.M.G! Don't tell me that it got her?"

"Yep, the whole case exploded, soaking her with red goo."

"It stained her uniform again?"

"Not only did it get all over her uniform, but on her fur too! I offered to lick her clean, but she declined."

"Nick, you didn't!" Jake asked before he burst out laughing and then he stopped when he noticed the fox's grin. "You didn't really do that, did you?"

"I couldn't remember if her ears blush that color of red or if it was the catsup stains?"

"So, she went home to clean up?"

"She is at the groomer right now, trying to wash the stains out of her fur. I personally think she looked good, kind of like a reddish furred, long eared and short tailed small vixen. Plus she smelled deliciously like tomatoes and vinegar."

"Wilde sometimes you are just weird."

"Why?" Nick smirked as he put his fork into his dish of noddles and then slurped a mouthful down.

"Try chewing next time fox!" the raccoon snickered.

The fox just smiled and laughed.

* * *

 **Actually in** **October of 2012, hundreds of crates full of fake Heinz** **ketchup** **were discovered stored in a** **warehouse located near downtown Dover, New Jersey. Some of the other tenants, who rented space within the warehouse, noticed that the plastic bottles of** **ketchup** **were** **exploding** **due to the heat and their sticky blood red contents were spilling out onto the floor.**

 **This also settles the proper spelling of catsup vs Ketchup, at least in the Big Z!**


	42. The Perfect Halloween Costume

**Chapter 42: The Perfect Halloween Costume**

* * *

 **Nick goes with Jake to help the raccoon find the perfect costume.**

* * *

The store had bright yellow and orange lights leading down the aisles towards their large selection of various sized costumes. There were rows of plastic Jack-o-lanterns with their flickering electric lights, fake black cats on their broomsticks wearing their witch's hats, ghosts of various types, and all sorts of decorations for the special night of Halloween. The festively haunted ambiance of the holiday was highlighted by the spooky music played on the store's speakers. Both the raccoon and the expensive blue suit and the fox in the jeans and tee shirt paused as they stared at the rows of candy before them. Finally the two friends continued until they reached racks upon racks of costumes in the back of the building.

"Pffft! Every raccoon dresses like Sly Cooper for Halloween!" Jake Runnel laughed as he perused though several costumes his size. He was looking for the perfect outfit for the Halloween Night Ball at Mister Big's mansion in Tundertown.

"Yeah for you to be dressing up as a burglar, now that would be too obvious," Nick laughed as he held up a very risqué barmaid costume. "But then again, if I remember correctly you have already did the Sly Cooper thing before."

"First fox, that costume in your paws will never fit me!" the raccoon laughed. "Second, I only did that to drive old Sal crazy…not that I am admitting I did it to my cop friend. You do have to admit that it was hilarious when that perverted old ram ran around town flashing a picture of a raccoon dressed like Sly Cooper to all his…ah…associates, while complaining he got robbed by the guy. Everyone thought he was nuts!"

"I swear you're a goofball, I was wondering what Judy might look in this outfit? As for your alleged illegal breaking and entering routine, I'm still wondering how you managed to sneak back in again and put those illegal blood diamonds back in his safe before Melinda Velt could call us cops?"

"All I know is that they were there when Detective Oates searched the place, who knows how they got there?" the raccoon answered with a shrug of his shoulders and a grin.

"Sure buddy, just keep telling yourself that." Nick scoffed. He held up a gangster costume and then shaking his head, put it back. "That might not be a good idea considering how many of guests at the party are real gangsters."

Jake quickly put back the black and white striped prisoner's uniform, "I spent eighteen months in the real thing, I don't want to wear one of those again. So what are you and Judy wearing for Halloween?"

"Our police uniforms, it's all paws on deck that night. It seems that not only do the trick-or-treating ghosts and witches come out on Halloween Night, but also a lot of real trouble makers come out too."

"Like those bullies who once grabbed an eight year old's candy and shoved him in a dumpster?" Jake added. "I would have been there all night if a certain teenage fox hadn't rescued me. Thanks again for saving me."

"Hey, I couldn't leave a raccoon kit stuck in a dumpster like that!" Nick laughed. "Especially since those were the same bullies who muzzled me years earlier when I tried to join scouts."

Picking up a police uniform the raccoon looked it over before he gave his best friend a grin. "I remember last year you were pissed off because no one took you serious!" He laughed as he twirled the plastic handcuffs in his paw. "Everyone thought you were a fox dressed up in a police officer's costume and not the real deal."

"It doesn't have to be just Halloween for jerks to think that!" Nick scoffed. "I don't know how many phone calls the station gets reporting that there is a shifty looking fox sneaking around dressed like a police officer?"

"So before you and Judy met, what did you used to dress in to go Mister Big's parties?"

"Before I screwed up with the rug…" Nick began.

"That infamous skunk butt rug, you mean?" Jake laughed as he interrupted his friend. "Mister B still talks about it even today."

"Well at least he didn't ice me…" Nick stopped when he saw the grin on the raccoon's face. "Okay, when Judy saved me from being iced. Anyways, I did the vampire thing once or twice and then wrapped myself up as a mummy. One year I cut a hole in a box and put a tablecloth over it and then I stuck my head through the hole and put a lampshade on my head. I went as a one night stand…get it…huh? Huh? You know a one night stand, like a night stand next to a bed and..?"

The raccoon rolled his eyes as he smiled. "Oh that was bad!" he chuckled. "Funny, but corny."

"So what did you used to wear to the parties before?" Nick asked.

"This is my first one at the mansion with Marie. Before I met Marie, I used to go to one of the parties down on River Street with Meredith."

"Your wildcat hooker friend…" Nick began.

"My friend is in the escort business, fox!" Jake snapped back. "Anyways, the parties were always at one of the strip clubs and what they wore, let me rephrase that…what little they wore…."

The raccoon stopped talking when he heard a young voice ask, "Mommy what's a hooker?"

Nick grinned when he saw that his friend was blushing. "Never mind!" the raccoon softly said as he tried to ignore the aggravated stare a motherly warthog was giving them both as she softly shooed her children away from the fox and raccoon.

"You could always go as that Rocket Raccoon guy from the movies?"

"Again, I would be just like every other raccoon who doesn't dress like Sly Cooper."

"How about going as a pumpkin?" Nick suggested as he held up a round orange plastic ball shaped costume.

"If I slipped on the ice and fell in that thing, by time I stopped rolling in the snow I'd look like an oversized snowball."

"Good point!"

"How about this one?" Jake asked as he held up a scarecrow outfit.

"Yeah, that's perfect for you," Nick laughed out. "In the Wizard of Oz, the Scarecrow wanted a brain. Yup, you are the perfect scarecrow sometimes, totally brainless."

"Not funny fox!"

"Just give it some time. I'm sure that you will come up with something." Nick chuckled as they began to leave the store.

"It's got to be cool," Jake grumbled as he glanced at a costume of a rag doll with red yarn for hair. "Nothing lame like that!"

It turned out that Marie and Judy had already found Jake a costume. Being in love with his new wife, the raccoon didn't object when she dressed up as Raggedy Ann and he as Raggedy Andy, the rag doll costumes with the red yarn hair.

Ah, the things we do for love!

* * *

 **A teenage Nick saved a young Jake from being trapped in a trash bin in the story _Zootopia: A Raccoon's Rescue._ **


	43. Corn Maze Madness

**Chapter 43: Corn Maze Madness**

* * *

 **Jake and Nick get lost.**

* * *

It was almost pitch dark and the wind was spookily rustling though the dried corn stalks which lined each side of the dirt pathway, overhead the moon shone down upon the tan colored stalks and cast eerie dark shadows upon the ground. All around them there were joyful shouts and laughing while shadowy figures shot past in the distance, as if they were wraiths haunting the late fall night. "I have no idea where we are?" the male raccoon in a black wool jacket grumbled out as he firmly held his wife's paw. "Why did I let that fox talk me into going into a corn maze anyways?"

"Jake, I wanted to do this corn maze," Marie giggled as she pulled the zipper on her green fleece jacket up and then pulled on his paw to get him to follow her.

Jake gave out a cute little "eep!" when two laughing bobcat kittens suddenly emerged from the darkness and ran past them. He then realized that he had run into Marie's protective embrace like a little kit.

"Did they scare my big old rough and tough raccoon?" she giggled as he blushed from embarrassment. "Ya'll can bring down a huge rhino in a street brawl, but you are scared of a couple little kittens?"

"It was daytime and I had a big shovel when I beat Ronnie Charger," Jake snickered back to her with a grin. "This is night and we are in the middle of nowhere."

"Aw poor baby!" she said before she kissed him. "We are not in the middle of nowhere and we are surrounded by dozens of other folks having fun."

"Now come on, there has to be a way out," Jake whined out softly in frustration as the two raccoons continued blundering down row after row of corn, always coming to a dead end and then having to backtrack.

"You're such a city coon, Sugar!" Marie laughed as she kissed his cheek. "Oh come on, this is fun. So now let's try going this way."

"You country girls and your ideas of fun!" he huffed out as he ran after her, but as he turned corner, he saw that she was gone! The raccoon's eyes widen in surprise as he looked around and then he realized that he was all alone in the middle of the dark row. The wind suddenly rustled once more through the corn again, causing his ears to flatten as he began to imagine what horrors were stalking around in the distance. Reaching for his cell phone, he gave a soft groan when he realized that earlier he had to recharge it on their way over and it was still plugged into the car.

"Marie!" he softly called out as he slowly walked down the shadowy row towards a fork in the trail. "Marie!" he called slightly louder. He didn't want her to know that he was scared. "Marie!" he called out even louder. There was laughter and shouting from all around him, but he didn't hear her voice.

Suddenly, he did hear someone or something before him and skewing up his courage, he quickly came face to face with a dark shadowy figure. Jake gave a start when whoever it was spoke, "Have you seen Carrots?" a familiar voice asked and the raccoon gave a sigh of relief when a fox stepped forward and he saw it was Nick.

"No and I've lost Marie too." Jake almost wailed out. There was a noise behind him and both he and Nick screamed "Gaahhhh!" as something short burst out of the eerie darkness and ran towards them. It turned out to be the same pair of giggling bobcat kittens who had passed Jake earlier.

"Dude, get a grip on yourself!" Nick nervously laughed then they both realized that the raccoon had jumped into his best friend's arms and the two of them were desperately clinging together as if for protection.

"This is your fault fox!" Jake complained as he released his grip on Nick and stepped back, trying to now act nonchalant about what had just happened. "Let's go to a corn maze you said! It will be fun, you said! The girls will…"

"Well up until now it was fun," Nick snapped back, cutting off the raccoon's ranting. "I was not the idiot who said that we needed to all watch that old horror movie Kittens of the Corn before we came here!"

"Well how was I supposed to know that it could be so dark and spooky in the middle of a corn field?"

"Aw come on coon, were you expecting street lights way out here?"

"Shut up and use your phone to call the girls and find out where they are."

"I can't," Nick answered as he gave the raccoon a look of embarrassment. "Judy found out that I had downloaded an aerial of the maze from the police blimp onto my phone. She said that it was cheating and so she took it away. Why don't we just use your phone?"

"It's still plugged in back at the car," Jake answered as he shook his head. "You know how I am about cell phones?"

"For a guy how runs a multi million dollar security firm with all that high tech gear, you'd think you could at least keep up with your phone!"

"Look, you're the cop who has trained with the K-9 team! Go ahead and use that fox nose of yours to sniff our way out of here…Gaaahh!" Jake yelled again as something brushed past him and he frowned when he realized it was the same two bobcat kittens running by them again and down the trail.

* * *

About half an hour later the two friends had returned to the same trail that they had just come from and Jake looked down the row only to see the same two giggling kittens running towards them. "Here they come again…whoopee!" the raccoon gave out a tired sighed.

Not far from where the two friends were aimlessly wandering amongst the corn stalk lined trails and just outside of the maze, a rabbit and another raccoon were sipping from their cups of hot cider as they sat at a picnic table while they watched the maze's exit. "Ya'll reckon those two city slickers will ever find their way out?" the raccoon named Marie asked the rabbit.

"They will sooner or later," Judy answered with a shrug of her shoulders while they watched as two cute bobcat kittens ran out of the exit and then with a squeal of delight, the two ran towards the entrance again.

* * *

 **Of course, Kittens of the Corn is the Zootopian version of the classic horror movie _Children of the Corn_. **


	44. Pursuit of the Perfect Pumpkin Pie!

**Chapter 44: Pursuit of the Perfect Pumpkin Pie!**

* * *

 **Nick decides to prove to Judy that he can cook a better pie than Gideon Grey.**

* * *

The raccoon looked with concern as he sniffed the air just outside of his best friend's apartment, something was burning. Pounding on the door, he yelled out, "Nick is everything alright?" When a unintelligible and muffled sound answered his question, his ears flattened as he looked down at the door's lock. The fire alarm behind the door began to whine and so the raccoon pulled out his lock pick set and within moments shoved the door open, only to be confronted with white wafting smoke emitting from the kitchen. Standing by a now open window was his best friend Nick Wilde dressed in his underwear and a worn old tee shirt, the fox had two blackened orange things on a smoking tray. With a curse Nick set the tray onto the fire escape and stepped back.

"Ah, I didn't expect to see that when I came in here," Jake snickered as the fox picked up a kitchen towel and tried to wave the smoke towards the still open window.

"Do something useful coon, like turn off that smoke detector!" the fox growled back.

"Sure pal," the raccoon chuckled as he hopped onto a chair and reached up to press the off button. He glanced at the still open door and the gathering of concerned looking neighbors peering inside. "Nick's cooking again!" Jake called out and several of the onlookers gave knowing nods.

"What did you mean by that?" Nick snapped as he watched the raccoon hop from the chair and go to close the door. "And why are you even here, dressed like that?"

"I figured that since you had the day off and Judy had to work, that I would take you to breakfast. As for why I am still dressed in the same suit I was wearing yesterday, I was playing cards over at Bogo's place last night…"

"Chief Bogo invited you to his weekly poker game?" Nick said in an incredulous tone as his mouth fell open in surprise. "Since when did you two become buddies, I thought he didn't like you?"

"He and I had a long talk one day before my wedding. Remember, I told you that he and his former partner were the ones who investigated my father's death and brought that judge's wife to justice, if you want to call what little punishment she got for it as being justice?" the raccoon answered.

Nick could hear the bitterly sarcastic tone when Jake used the word justice and knew that the court had only punished the drunken hit and run driver with probation, her husband was a judge and they were connected with the city upper crust of society, which back then still had its privileges. It was this same judge's son who would later shot him when he made a traffic stop, his patrol car's camera caught the whole incident on film including the teenager calling him a damn pelt before he pulled the trigger.

"So, that still doesn't explain why you haven't changed your clothes. Don't tell me the game took all night?"

"Naw, we were into our third hand when Bogo got a call that someone had broken into Field Brothers Auction House and stolen a rare set of Buffalo Head coins."

"Since you are such an expert on that place, I would guess you went along to see how they did it?" Nick asked as he went into his bedroom and pulled on a pair of jeans. "Of course, you did fail the one time that you tried to rob that place."

"Professional curiosity," the raccoon answered with a shrug. "Plus I didn't fail, I was set up!"

"Sure coon, Fangmeyer and Wolford caught you with your paws on the safe," Nick laughed as he poured himself and then the raccoon a cup of coffee.

"Well enough about me," Jake said as he sipped the coffee. "Just why were you burning a pumpkin?"

"Well, I'm sick and tired of listening to Carrots always bragging about Gideon Grey's pumpkin pie…" Nick began to answer.

"You have to admit that his pie is really, really delicious!" Jake interjected and then after he saw the look his best friend gave him, decided to shut up and just listen.

"So I am going to show her that I can make one just as good from scratch!" Nick continued. "I just need to get another pumpkin to roast again."

"Yeah, the first one didn't exactly come out right," Jake sarcastically said as he looked at still smoldering pumpkin sitting on the tray outside on the fire escape. "You do know that they sell canned pumpkin?"

"No, it has to be made fresh!" Nick grumbled as he sat his phone down, showing the raccoon the recipe.

"Is this a fox thing?" Jake snickered before he sipped his coffee again. "Do you canids always have to compete with each other over everything? I hate to tell you, but when it comes to baking, Grey is your Alpha."

"We foxes don't have Alphas," Nick snapped back as he walked towards the door. "Come on lazy, lets go to the market for another baking pumpkin."

"Maybe a dozen of them," Jake laughed as he followed the fox out of the door. "Hey Nick, do they really have something called a baking pumpkin? Do any of them come with one those little pop out plugs like they put in turkeys? If they do, maybe you should get one of those so you know when it is done?"

The fox's response to his questions was a not so nice gesture, making the raccoon laugh again.

Somewhere during Nick's third attempt, the raccoon fell asleep while watching some old movie.

Later that evening, after Jake had returned home and changed clothes, he and Marie returned to Nick and Judy's apartment to taste the final pie which Nick had baked. They sat around in anticipation as the fox laid out his and Judy's best plates, the ones without the cracks or chips, and some fancy festive fall themed paper napkins.

After a cocktail made with cold cider, the three friends sat down at the table as with great flair, Nick finally brought his precious pie to the table. The round pie looked absolutely gorgeous, it was a brownish orange and the delectable aroma of nutmeg and spices filled the air. Quickly cutting a slice for his wife and his two friends, Nick sat down at the table and watched as they tasted the pie.

All eyes were on Judy first as she slowly chewed a forkful of the pie. "This is really good Slick!" she finally proclaimed with her eyes wide open in surprise.

Marie took a bite and then suddenly gave Jake a suspicious look as he too chewed a mouthful, "That is a good pie," she proclaimed. "You baked this, right Nick?"

"Took several tries before I got it right!" the fox happily answered as he sat back in his chair and grinned. "So what do you think Fluff, is it better then Gideon Grey's pumpkin pie?"

"Yes it is!" she happily proclaimed and her words were rewarded with the fox's grin.

"Real good pie," Jake quickly added.

Later that night, as the two raccoons awaited their cab outside of the apartment, Marie grabbed her husband's arm and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Well Sugar, I do believe that Nick has learned to bake a pie," she whispered into his ear. "His pie tasted just as good as the one made by that award winning chef friend of yours, Kat Korre. In fact it tasted just like the slice we had at her restaurant a few nights ago."

"Imagine that?" Jake chuckled. "Poor Nick tried so hard, but his pie was really, really awful and so I used the fire escape to sneak into their place when he and Judy were both in the bedroom dressing. I swapped the pie he had in the oven with one of hers."

"That was sweet Sugar, but you should know that Judy would have said it was better than Gideon's regardless how bad it really was," she said as the cab pulled up before them. "We ladies do that all the time for the guys we are in love with, just to make ya'll feel better by stroking that male ego when needed."

Jake looked at her in surprise as she climbed into the cab's backseat and then he frowned while he followed her into the car. "Hey, have you ever done that to me?" he quickly asked and frowned again when she just answered his question with a knowing giggle.

* * *

 **Chief Bogo had his conversation with Jake in Chapter 24 of** ** _Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption._**

 **Marie met Chief Kat Korre on her first date with Jake in Chapter 7 of** ** _Zootopia: A Raccoon's Romance_**


	45. Leaf it to a Fox

**Chapter 45: "Leaf" it to a Fox**

* * *

 **Nick, Judy, Jake, and Marie take a drive into the Green Mountains north of Tundratown to see the colorful fall foliage.**

* * *

"Vaaaarrooooom!"

The cherry red convertible made a roaring noise as it flew down the highway and towards the next mountain road. Behind the car's wheel was a red fox in a lime green jacket and with, of all things, a white flowing silk scarf which blew in the wind behind him. The fox named Nick stepped on the gas and grinned like a little kit playing with a new toy as the car flew along the road.

"Vaaaarrooooom!"

"Slow down Slick!" Judy yelled from the passenger's seat as the bunny held onto her purple stocking cap, which matched her heavy light purple sweater. "You're a cop and you don't want to get a ticket for speeding, Bogo would have your tail!"

With a frown, the fox stepped on the brakes and slowed the car down. "You don't understand Fluff," he huffed out to his wife. "This is a classic, a 1968 Furred Mustang GT with a V-8 engine and it is supposed to be driven fast."

"It's a reproduction fox!" a male raccoon dressed in a fashionable black wool peacoat called out from the backseat. "You know that they wouldn't let me rent a real one! Even with this being a repo, the insurance cost me a paw and a leg because I told them that you'd be driving."

"Sure, the rates go up because a fox is driving!" Nick grumbled. "They really like to stick it to us foxes!"

"It wasn't because you're a fox, it's because they know you Nick!" the raccoon named Jake laughed back. "It seems that they haven't forgotten that you once got your patrol car stuck on the median in front of their dealership"

"Hey that wasn't my fault, I hit a slick spot of ice," the fox protested as he gunned the engine again while they started up a windy road. "You know how treacherous Tundratown roads can get sometimes."

"Slow down Nick!" Marie yelled as she pulled the collar of her blue windbreaker up while she snuggled closer to Jake. "We came all this way to see the leaves changing color, not to have to cling to our seat belts in fear."

All around them the leaves in the trees had begun to change into their scarlet red, golden yellow, and bright orange fall hues. Above them the sun shone down upon them from a blue cloudless sky and Nick had to admit to himself that the mountainous scenery was breath taking in all its natural glory. The fox gave a long agitated sigh as he slowed the car down to the posted speed limit. "I'm driving a fancy car and now I have to piddle along because of a bunch of fuddy-duddies," he grumbled under his breath. He then held his breath when they rounded a corner at the top of the mountain and they saw a jet black police car hiding down a dirt road. The large patrol car had the words Green County Sheriff's Department printed on its side in yellow, along with an insignia which looked like a police badge.

"See Slick, you should be glad we made you slow down," Judy said in a smug tone as they passed by the vehicle. "We saved you an embarrassing ticket."

"I'll probably get a ticket for driving too slow…" Nick began to reply, but his eyes widened when he saw that the police cruiser had pulled out behind him. "What did I do?" He groaned as he watched the vehicle draw closer. "Of course a fox driving a shiny fancy car, so he's waiting for me to do something that he can pull me over for!" he complained as they continued down the road well within the speed limit. "He'll probably ask me where I stole it from."

Suddenly a crow flew from the side of the road and smashed into the car's widow, Nick slammed on the brakes in surprise while the stunned crow flipped off the front window and over the heads of the raccoons in the back seat. Behind them, they could hear the squealing of the police vehicle's brakes and the tell tail sound of a thump. Slowing down even more, Nick pulled to the roadside and parked, as they all looked back at the car behind them. Surprisingly the stunned bird, which was still lying on the police car's window, shook itself and flew off.

From inside the police cruiser, a moose in a tan uniform stepped out and looked at the fallen black feathers on his window, then at the red fox behind the wheel of the even redder sports car. "I going to have to write you up for this," the deputy said as he pointed at Nick.

"What did I do? It was an accident!" the fox protested.

"Yep, I'm going to have to write you up alright," the deputy said with in serious tone as he pulled out his ticket book.

"On what charge?" Judy asked in a challenging manner as she stood up and looked back at the large moose.

"I'm going to have to write him up for flipping me the bird," the deputy laughed.

Needless to say Nick didn't really get a ticket!

* * *

 **This chapter is based on an old cop joke.**


	46. A Sauced Bunny

**Chapter 46: A "Sauced" Bunny**

* * *

 **Jake gets caught breaking into the airport and he has a discussion with Nick and Wolford about something which happened to Judy on Thanksgiving Day.**

* * *

"I think my sniffer is broken," Wolford said as he stood there in the airport employee's lounge with his nose slightly raised as he looked at the doorway. Both the wolf and the fox, with whom he was talking to, cocked their heads with curiosity as someone began to open the door. "I'd swear that I caught your buddy Jake's scent a moment ago."

"This is one of the most secured areas of the airport…" Nick began to scoff, but he almost dropped his paper cup full of the swill the airport lounge tried to pass off as coffee when the door opened and a raccoon in a black turtleneck shirt and heavy pressed denim jeans stood there holding a tray with three Snarlbucks coffee cups.

"I knew I smelled him!" the wolf cried out in triumph.

"Hey guys, I was told that you two were on break," Jake said as he entered the room.

"Coon what are you doing in this part of the airport? This area is for authorized personnel only and I know that you are far from being authorized to do anything around here!" Nick snapped as the raccoon sat the coffee cups down on the table in front of him. "We should arrest you for just being here!"

"Chill out fox!" Jake chuckled as he handed Nick one of the coffees. "I'm waiting for the airport's director of security to arrive. He knows I'm down here, at least he does now."

"What does that mean?" Wolford quickly asked as he picked up of the cups and sniffed the coffee inside.

"Well I had a bet with the director that I could infiltrate into the most secure areas of the airport without anyone knowing," Jake answered as he sat down at the table. "So I figured the day after Thanksgiving would be a good time to try, being that it is always so chaotically busy."

"Well I guess you managed to prove to him that you could," Nick sighed as sipped his brew again. "The former burglar strikes again!"

"Nope, I got caught," the raccoon laughed. "I got all the way down here and almost to the most heavily secured areas before I was caught. I wasn't even nabbed by a security guard, but by a baggage handler."

"Wait, you got caught by a baggage handler?" Wolford asked in surprise.

"The biggest damn elephant I've ever seen," the raccoon laughed. "Snatched me right off the floor with his trunk and held me upside down until security arrived. So after I gave your boss Captain Huntersnout the note, which I had been given by the director of airport security, he sent me down here to wait with you two. I think I'm supposed to be either under arrest or detained? The old wolf said something like that before he told me to leave, he just growled at me and said that I'm now that damned fox's problem until someone comes to get me."

"I think you are supposed to be detained," Wolford answered. "If you were arrested, they would have handcuffed you."

"How do you know they didn't?" Jake challenged the wolf. "You know from experience that they haven't yet made a pair of handcuffs which can hold me."

"Jake there isn't a Snarlbucks anywhere near this room," Nick suddenly asked the raccoon in an amused tone as he looked over at his best friend. "Where'd you get the coffee?

"There's a Snarlburks on the third concourse, so I went there first," Jake nonchalantly answered with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Wait that's outside of the secured area, which means…" the wolf began to say and then his ears went flat and he shook his head. "Why am I even surprised that you escaped from security, went and bought these coffees, and then snuck back inside?"

The raccoon gave the wolf a knowing grin before he asked the fox, "So Marie got an emergency call this morning from Fru Fru and she took off to Tundratown to meet her and Judy, is everything alright?"

"Carrots had a rather stressful day yesterday," Nick replied with a slight laugh.

"One would think that Thanksgiving Day would be rather boring for you cops?" Jake said as he took another sip of his coffee.

"No, we always have more than our fair share of domestic disturbance calls. Plus, with so many stores now being open on the holiday, there is always the traffic issues and shoplifting. Then there are the DUIs and accidents caused by too many mammals drinking and driving."

"I guess being around your family can be rather stressful for some?" Jake said with a smile. "So what happened to Judy that got her all upset?"

"Bogo had assigned her to work with Francine again, it seems he was mad at something I said the day before and so he assigned me with the K-9 Unit here at the airport as punishment."

"Gee, you got in trouble by running your mouth again," the raccoon chuckled. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Anyways, the two of them were dispatched to Little Amir, because a family of tigers got into an argument over who should carve the turkeys. Things started with a fist fight between some of the family members, which carried out onto the street. By the time Carrots and Francine got there, it had turned into a full-fledged food fight inside of the house."

"That sounds pretty messy, but I'm sure things calmed down when the cops arrived."

"No, Francine got hit with a bowl of mashed potatoes and the cranberry sauce got hit with Judy."

"Wait…wait!" Jake quickly said in surprise as he swallowed his sip of coffee. "Didn't you mean to say Judy got hit by some cranberry sauce?"

"No, apparently one of the tigers picked her up and threw her into big bowl of jelled cranberry sauce," Nick began to chuckle. "Carrots landed head first into the bowl and Francine wrote in her report that only Judy's feet were sticking out."

"Yuk!" Wolford laughed. "That had to be a mess?"

"Yeah, my honey bunny spent most of last night trying to scrub her fur," Nick said with a smirk. "Her fur was stained reddish purple, so she went to the groomer today for a dye job."

"A purple rabbit?" Jake laughed. "That had to be a rather interesting sight."

"That's putting it mild," Nick chuckled. "She did look rather exotic."

"Gee Wilde, does that make her a cranbunny?" Wolford asked with a grin on is muzzle.

"Not funny wolf," the fox laughed. "Nice try, but not funny!"

"So what are you two planning to do tonight?" Jake asked. "Maybe we can all go out for dinner and drinks after you get off of work. I'm sure that we can do something to cheer Judy up some."

"Sure as long as you promise not to buy any holiday drinks with cranberry juice in it," Nick scoffed.

"Yeah, that might be a very good thing to avoid!" Jake agreed as he sipped his coffee.


	47. Winter Memories

**Chapter 47: Winter Memories**

* * *

 **Just a short sweet chapter about a raccoon in love.**

* * *

The Winter's Solstice Carnival in Tundratown is always one of the city's favorite holiday events and this year, the organizers had pulled out all the stops. Bright multicolored lights sparkled in the dark evening's snow and the sounds of music filled the air. A band of walruses in blue and white uniforms blew on their tubas and euphoniums in the center of the holiday market, their brassy notes uniquely belting out a rendition of a popular carol. From where he was standing, Jake could smell the spices and aromas of the delectable holiday treats being sold in fancifully decorated shops below.

Children ran to and fro, playing in the newly fallen snow as they laughed and joyously yelled. Several stopped and stood with their parents as they looked at the many creative snow and ice sculptures. Happy screams and more laughter came from the rides, the tilt-a-whirl, the tall looping starship, and the brightly colored carousel where they rode on the backs of pawcarved wooden leaping fish, flying birds, and fierce dragons.

There was a line of children waiting in front of a huge igloo, patiently awaiting their turn to sit in Santa Paw's lap and tell him what they wanted for Winter's Eve. The huge polar bear in his red wool coat would let out a hardy jolly laugh and then pose with the child for the parents to take a picture before the next excited child ran to him. Adults too laughed and chattered with one another from the outdoor bar nearby as they sipped on their spiced cider or hot toddy. A huge fire was blazing in a stone fire pit to keep them warm in the evening chill. Everything was so happy and festive.

The raccoon however didn't feel too festive as he shoved his glove covered paws deeper into the pockets of his black wool peacoat and stared at the long icy ramp before him. Jake didn't like the cold, despite the fact he spent many days and nights in Tundratown when he visited Mister Big, Fru Fru, Koslov, and all his other friends who lived here. What really bothered him tonight were the memories from his past, specifically his having been "run over" right here on this snow tube ramp by a sexy cape jackal who became his friend and lover.

Her nickname was "Diamonds", because she was relentless in tracking down illegally smuggled diamonds from her war torn homeland overseas, always giving the rewards to those charities which cared for her fellow refugees who had fled from that conflict. She was an insurance investigator, who was drawn to the raccoon's illicit past, and the two of them quickly became more than just being only "friends" as they told others. However, their passionate relationship ended when she returned to her homeland, leaving him behind still shackled to his court ordered probation.

"Come on Sugar!" Marie excitedly called out in her sweet sounding southern twang as she waved to him from up the hillside. "Ya'll promised to go on this ride with me."

The sight of his wife, whom he loved with all his heart, in her pretty blue snowsuit only made him feel worse. Those memories of his past lover almost made him feel like he was somehow cheating on her tonight, even though that relationship was over before he and Marie ever met.

He was startled when a fox put a reddish orange paw on his right shoulder and he looked up at his best friend Nick, who was smiling at him. "Those memories are from the past buddy," the fox whispered in his ear. "It's time for you two to make some new ones." Nick lightly shoved him towards where Marie now stood next to Judy waiting for him. "Go on!"

With a happy swish of his gray and black ringed tail, the raccoon smiled as he ran up the snowy hillside and into the embrace of the other raccoon he now loved so much.


	48. One Very Expensive Tree

**Chapter 48: One Very Expensive Tree**

* * *

 **Nick asks Jake how he would steal from the most expensively decorated Winter's Eve tree in the world.**

* * *

"I can't believe that he even got us into this hotel," Nick whispered to the raccoon in the dark brown suit. "Heck, I can't believe that Chief Bogo even wanted you in the room with THAT!" The red fox in the blue sport jacket and khaki pants was pointing toward the hotel's Winter's Eve Tree.

Jake grinned as he sipped his drink while staring at the festive, glittering tree before them. "Why would anyone even decorate a tree with about fifteen million bucks in jewels, silver, and gold?" he asked in an awed tone. "That's like hanging up a sign to every lowlife burglar which says ROB ME!"

"That's why Bogo asked me, to ask you, to look it over," Nick replied as he carefully sat his expensive china cup of coffee down. "He wants you to tell me how you'd try to get around security."

"I wouldn't do it," Jake chuckled as the raccoon looked around the room. "Security is too good to hit the place right now."

"So it's impossible?" the fox asked.

"Nothing is impossible Nick, but it's just that I wouldn't even try," the raccoon replied before he hopped down off the bar stool and after shoving his paws into his suit jacket, walked closer to the tree. A simple red velvet rope kept him from getting too close. He glanced to see that Nick had joined him and then that two huge bulls in black suits were closely watching them.

"Come on guys, a sly fox and a shifty raccoon standing together," he finally called over to the guards. "How do you know that we are not just a distraction?" One of the guard's eyes widened in surprise and he quickly looked around elsewhere, but the other bull just gave them a thin smile.

"Jake!" Nick hissed. "We're supposed to be undercover!"

"That larger bull is Larry Ferdinandson," Nick explained with a smile. "We know each other from some previous work I have done, legit stuff that I did after I got out of jail," he quickly added.

The muscular bull approached them and looked both the raccoon and fox over with an experienced security guard's cynical eyes. 'Jake Runnel, it's been a long time, and this must be your pal Nick Wilde?" he snorted out in a sarcastic tone. "A former thief and a former street hustler, oh joy this must be my lucky day!"

"How's those horns hanging Larry?" Jake greeted the bull with a smile. "I'm here purely out of professional curiosity and you know that my pal Nick is now a cop."

"So much for being undercover," Nick sighed.

"I told the owners that they should have hired your firm do the security for this monstrosity," Larry said as he watched two well-dressed antelopes by the rope. "Instead they chose to do everything in house."

"Larry, I wouldn't touch handling the security for this no matter what they offered," the raccoon replied. "However, I have to admit security is tight. Say, are they doing double guards at night?"

"You know I can't answer that!" the bull laughed. "Still, I'd bet that even you Jake couldn't steal from this tree!"

"You're probably right," the raccoon seemed to admit. "It would be a rather tough thing to even try."

"During the peak times of the day, the tree would be the most venerable," Nick offered. "There are a lot of mammals to keep track of in the bar before and after dinner, so why not start a fake fight and then when everyone is looking elsewhere, you can slip in and pick a few of the baubles off of the tree?"

"Crude in an old washed up hustler's mind sort of way," Jake laughed. "You're thinking as if this was shoplifting or a snatch and grab. If this was a mall, that might be an issue, but this is a five star hotel and only the most socially connected are invited into this room to have a cocktail and admire the tree."

"Okay, then what about rappelling from a balcony during the predawn hours?" the fox asked.

"Nope, too exposed even at night," the raccoon answered. "Cameras, security guards, and sensors are too good."

"Tunneling up from the basement below?" Nick continued.

"I'm sure Larry's team has two or more guards in the room below, along with cameras," Jake replied. The bull didn't confirm the raccoon's guess, but gave a knowing smile instead.

"So Jake how would you do it?" Larry finally asked in an interested tone.

"In the confusion while decorating the tree or taking it down," Jake offered. "I think during decorating."

"Why then?" Nick asked as he cocked his head in curiosity at where the raccoon was looking.

"Because someone already took a nice sized red ruby and left a cut glass replica behind," Jake answered as he pointed to a stone on the tree.

"What do you mean? Please don't tell me it's a fake!" the bull desperately snorted out as he lowered the rope and he, along with Jake and Nick, got closer to the tree. Reaching up, he snatched the ruby and held it to the light. "I can't tell, are you sure?"

"My bad!" Jake simply stated as he looked up at the bull. "It seems to be real after all."

Satisfied, the bull hung the ornament back in its place and ushered the raccoon and fox back outside of the ropes. "You scared me for a moment," Larry grunted as he put the red rope back into place.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself from trying," Jake laughed.

"Trying what?" the bull quickly asked in confusion as he looked down at the now grinning raccoon.

"To win you're little bet," Jake answered as he held up a small black diamond ornament in his paw. "You challenged me to steal something off the tree and I did so while you were looking at the ruby. I pawed this off of one of the lower branches."

"Jake!" Nick snapped at his best friend in disbelief. "I can't…" the fox went silent and then shook his head. "Actually, I can believe that you would do that."

"Hey, he challenged me!" the raccoon replied as he handed the bull the diamond.

"So do I need to arrest you?" the fox snorted out in an amused tone. "Or are you going to give everything back?"

"Give what back?" Larry asked as he looked first at the fox and then the raccoon.

"Oh, I forgot I still had this," Jake snickered as he held up the sterling silver ornament hanger in his paw. "Oops!"

"Yeah, oops," Nick scoffed as he grabbed the raccoon by his shoulder and pushed him towards the door. "We're leaving before you get yourself into real trouble."

"But, he did challenge me!"

"Come on coon, you can buy me lunch."

"I always buy you lunch…" the bull heard the raccoon playfully complaining as the two friends left the room.

"Raccoons!" Larry sighed as he hung the ornament back on the tree and then scowled at the grin the other guard was giving him.

"Well you did bet him!" the other bull laughed.

"Shut up, dude!" Larry grumbled. "Just get back to work."

* * *

 **The five-star luxury Kempinski Hotel Bahia in Marbella, Spain, has a Christmas tree decorated with an estimated 15-million dollars' worth of jewels, furs, gold and silver ornaments. The decorations include a 3-carat pink diamond, nine 3-carat black diamond decorations, 3,000 Swarovski crystal encrusted ostrich eggs garnished with gold-leaf and diamond dust, and even a red oval diamond worth over 5 million dollars!**


	49. Snow Jam

**Chapter 49: Snow Jam**

* * *

 **We know how Jake hates the winter and snow. He does a good deed and, well as they say, no good deed goes unpunished!**

* * *

"I hate snow and it's not supposed to snow this much in the Meadowlands!" the raccoon complained as he pulled his black and white checkered scarf tighter around his neck and then shoved it into his fashionable black woolen double breasted peacoat. "What the heck is a weather bomb anyways? I think they just started making these things up."

The fox in the dark blue police winter coat just gave his best friend Jake a smile as they slogged through the wet snow and back towards the police cruiser.

"Well at least Bogo didn't call you in during the middle of the job symposium to do traffic control. We came all the way up here to the university to speak about minority employment and it gets cancelled early because of the snow," Jake continued as he slipped slightly on some ice in the parking lot. Something caught his eye and he looked over towards where a tall moose in a university campus police officer's uniform was trying to poke at a camera with the end of a broom handle. "What's wrong officer?" he called out to the moose.

"The camera is stuck and I'm just trying to work it loose," the officer replied as he tried again.

"I'll get it for you," Jake said as he hurried towards the pole on which the camera was located. "It looks like a little ice got wedged between the camera and the building."

"But…" the moose began to object, before the raccoon began to shimmy up the pole. "I can call maintenance for a ladder and they'll come out once the weather clears!"

"Why wait?" Jake as he continued to climb up the pole. "We raccoons are experts at climbing," he bragged. "I've climbed up steeper things then this before, besides this pole is secured to the building's roof."

"Okay, if you say so buddy," Nick called up to him. "Still…"

"Still nothing!" the raccoon snapped back in a cocky manner as he continued his climb. "I know what I am doing, I'm a security expert. A professional!"

The moose leaned over and whispered into the fox's ear, "Should we warn him?"

"He's not going to listen," Nick sighed. "He's in one of those moods again, acting like the self-proclaimed expert on everything. Let's just hope that nothing happens."

"He won't get hurt will he?"

"The snow is deep and he really isn't that high up, at least not for him."

"Okay, if you say so."

"Got it!" the raccoon yelled triumphantly from above them. "Just a few minor adjustments and everything should be back in order."

"I'd feel better if he had just let the maintenance crew do that," the moose whispered.

Nick just shook his head as he watched the raccoon.

"Okay, how's that now?" Jake called back down again in a jubilant tone.

The moose spoke into his radio and nodded. "You've got it!" he yelled back to the raccoon.

Jake slid down the pole. "There, that didn't take long at all," he proclaimed and then gave the pole a hardy slap, causing it to shake again.

"Don't!" the moose began to cry out, but he was too late.

Nick also looked up and then yelled, "Look out!" Quickly he dove forward and tried to push Jake out of the way, but he also was too late. A white wall of snow slid off the building's roof and down upon the two helpless friends.

"Oh my!" was all the moose could exclaim as he looked at the mound of snow with a black and gray tail and a reddish orange tail poking out of the white mound. "Are you two okay?"

"I hate snow!" came the raccoon's mumbled complaint from within the snow pile. The fox's tail just wagged slightly in reply.


	50. Naughty & Nice

**Chapter 50: Naughty & Nice**

* * *

 **It's the holiday season and since Jake was so NAUGHTY as a young adult, he now is trying to be NICE to make up for it.**

* * *

Although the gymnasium that the fox was working out in was much nicer than the one down at the police station, still it was unsurprisingly much more modest then the upscale fitness center which his best friend Jake Runnel had first joined. This was no highly pretentious showcase chrome and steel building, where the upper class patrons would wrinkle their snouts in poorly concealed disgust with their having to share their precious "facilities" with prey animals and a fox at that! In fact, although the raccoon was somewhat tolerated by that club's members, the management had expressed their "concerns" about Nick attending periodically as a guest and especially his using the spa. Jake took this in his usual stride, not wanting to alienate any potential clients who were members, and instead joined another gymnasium while keeping his membership active with the other. He did however, find that the new more modest and inclusive gymnasium was a more accommodating place to work out, even if its gear was not the latest and trendiest available.

Nick looked over at his best friend and the raccoon was stripped down to his gym shorts as he lifted some weights. Jake was lean, with a gymnast's muscular physique and he kept his gray and dark gray, almost black, fur trimmed fashionably short. The fox gave a slight frown at the barely visible scars which still showed under Jake's light gray stomach and chest fur, reminders of that terrible night months ago when raccoon was almost killed by a mercenary named Renaldo Le Pew. Although Jake was trained in the Red Panda style martial arts, the knife welding skunk slashed his way through the raccoon's defenses and after stabbing Jake in the stomach, was going to slit his throat. It was only the intervention of a mysterious agent named Jack Savage which had saved him and Le Pew died instead on that early predawn morning, while the raccoon barely lived to see another day. Jake was left with both the physical and emotional scars from their encounter. But time heals and after his marriage to Marie, along with his friends support and that of a good psychiatrist, he seemed to be back on the road to being his usual self.

"So Detective Oates got that weasel Dribs to confess to vandalizing the Museum of Natural History?" Jake huffed out as he lifted the weights. "What does Le Rouge have to do with that crime? He's a master burglar and that just isn't his style."

"We've connected him with the crime," Nick answered as he leaned back and rested on the exercise bike. "I don't think that red panda likes you very much buddy."

"I'm not surprised, after all my company now handles some of his favorite targets and so far he hasn't succeeded into breaking into any of those businesses or mansions. He's been calling me a traitor for leaving a career in burglary to become a security specialist, after all I was once considered his greatest rival."

"I don't think he ever thought of you as his rival," Nick scoffed. "Face it coon, you may be talented but your reputation was rather lackluster at best."

"Okay, I'll admit I wasn't the most notorious burglar out there! Still I did break into some really complex…well, one of these days I will have to tell you all about them, but you will have to wait until after the statutes of limitations for Grand Larceny and Theft have expired."

Nick just rolled his eyes at the raccoon's comments. He knew the Jake didn't want to burden him with knowledge of any crimes he had committed since they were unsolved and although not active, were still under investigation.

After their workout was finished and they had showered, the raccoon dragged the fox along with him to the bank, where he withdrew a sack of money, mostly twenties. "You know you aren't fooling anyone when you do that, so why don't you just write a check?" he asked Jake.

They stood in front of a small urban church, with its aging weathered gray stone facade. This wasn't a grand cathedral like the one only several blocks away and you didn't find the city's wealthy or socially connected coming here on Sundays. Instead, it was modest place and a sanctuary for the working class and the poor, for those who were in need of spiritual guidance and practical care. The church was a place that Jake was familiar with, because he had been here several times during his life. For him, it was his "port from the storms" during his earlier life as the priest who served here called it. This was the place where Nick had reunited Jake and Marie after they had broken up when dating.

"It's like a game between me and the priest," Jake chuckled. "I try to sneak into the narthex and stuff the poor box with cash without being caught." The raccoon stealthy slipped behind the stout oak door and after a few minutes reappeared with a package in his paws.

"He caught you?"

"Yep and he gave me this!" Jake held up a tin with a fruitcake in it. "One of the ladies staffing the food bank made this for me. She said it was **nice** of me to give to the church all year long and not just during the holidays."

"So why is she punishing you?"

"What? She's not punishing me! Oh, so you don't like fruitcake? It just so happens that we raccoons love this stuff."

"I never could account for your culinary tastes," Nick chuckled. "You even like Mrs. Big's Surströmming."

"Yeah, I had to give up eating it though. Marie refuses to kiss me afterwards and she says the fermented herring smells both putrid and disgusting. Actually, she said it stinks to the high heavens above."

"No amount of mouth wash will cover up that smell. It stench is almost as bad as that Durian fruit we saw in a market over in Little Amir and that smelled like something died."

"So say the fox who likes Limburger cheese with red onions,"Jake scoffed as he picked a chunk of the cake and popped it into his mouth. "This cake tastes so good, are you sure you don't want a bite Nick?"

"No thank you!" the fox laughed.

Jake hesitated as he looked down at his watch. "Dude, we've got to hurry," he called out as he began to jog down the sidewalk towards a distant park.

"Where's the fire?" Nick yelled back as he ran after the raccoon.

"I've got to get over to my office in time to sign the bonus checks to give out to the employees at the company party tonight. Gods know what might happen if they don't get delivered? Remember that crazy warthog who kitnapped Frank Shirley a few years ago over his replacing his employees bonuses with memberships to the Jelly of the Month Club? I recall that he hog tied Shirley and delivered him to his brother-in-law's house tied in a red ribbon!"

"The Griswood case? Judy and I weren't assigned to that one. Hey, I thought your partner Jimmy Ratzolli kept your books, so why doesn't he just sign the checks?"

"My name is on the sign over the door and Jimmy thinks that would be **nice** if I signed the checks instead of him."

* * *

It was later that night when Jake and Marie returned to the hotel suite where they lived. "Ya'll threw a really **nice** party tonight for everyone at your company," she commented. "Who knew that they could make a strip joint look so festive inside? Covering the dance poles so they looked like large candy canes was, well let just say, it was interesting and thank you for making sure that everyone kept their clothes on."

"You know those who work for me aren't saints, most of us have criminal records and are looking for second chance in life," Jake chuckled. "Having a party at the Ritz Hotel or even here at our hotel would have been socially awkward at best since we mostly come from what they call the wrong side of the tracks."

Jake watched as she walked into the kitchen and rummaged in the refrigerator. He looked in confusion when she pulled out a spray can of whipped cream. "What are you up to?" he finally asked her as she passed by him and gave him a little wag of her tail.

"Sugar, Nick said that ya'll been **nice** all day," she giggled as she dropped her chic black silk dress into a puddle at her feet and winked at him. "So I just figured that tonight you might want to be a little **naughty** as a reward?"

With a grin, he chased his wife into their bedroom and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

 **Dribs and Le Rouge are from the game** ** _Zootopia: Crime Files_** **.**

 **The Griswood case is Zootopia's version of** ** _National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation_** **. Could you imagine Chief Bogo having to deal with Cousin Eddie and Clark Griswold?**


	51. Jake isn't Santa Paws!

**Chapter 51: Jake isn't Santa Paws!**

* * *

 **Jake fails to break into a museum, much to Nick's amusement.**

* * *

The mist from their breaths was visible, the white puffs floated in the still cold winter air of Tundratown. Despite wearing his black wool peacoat, the raccoon gave a shiver as he pulled his white and black checkered scarf tighter around his furry neck. There was a black duffel bag on the ground next to him. "What the hell are you wearing on your feet?" Nick scoffed as he looked down at what was covering the raccoon's paws.

"They are called booties," Jake said as he lifted his foot paw so the fox could see the rubber, wool lined shoes. "They are imported from the Great White North and even the polar bears up there wear them to keep the paws warm. My little toes are quite snugly toasty inside of these and the rubber bottoms help keep me from slipping on the ice, you should get a pair."

"Nope, I'm perfectly fine with my paws like they are. I can't imagine having them covered up like that!"

"That's your loss fox, because I think they are modern and stylish!"

"Where did you come up with the idea?"

"Renato Manchas found out about them in Cat Fancy Magazine and got himself a pair. You know, that as a jaguar from the Rainforest District, he too hates the cold," Jake lifted his foot paw again to show Nick the boot. "Look it has Velcro to keep it on!"

"Sometimes I think you have too much money!" Nick laughed as he adjusted the sleeves of his blue police winter jacket. "I've got to get going before Carrots catches me standing around, we're supposed to be working on a cold case from five years ago."

"Oh the irony, you two are working a cold case in Tundratown!" Jake snickered as he kicked the snow. "Get it, a cold case?"

"That wasn't funny the first twenty or so times I heard someone say the same thing back at the station, even Benny used that quip," the fox groaned. "So what brings you up this way?"

"Business my dear fox, I'm on my way over to look over the security arrangements at the Museum of the North. It seems they are concerned that someone might go after the Jeweled Acorn again. If I recall correctly, you and Judy caught the hamster who stole it when it was on loan to the Natural History Museum downtown."

"He never admitted that he was working for Chuckles, but I'm fairly sure he was."

"But Chuckles is still in jail right? The gods know we don't need that clown loose in the city again. That guy thinks he is a criminal mastermind, but he is only one hop from looney."

Half an hour later Jake stood in front of an imposing snow covered stone mansion in downtown Tundratown, it had been built by one of town's wealthiest businessmammals who had lost his fortune during the Great Depression. The imposing structure had sat empty and abandoned for many years before it was purchased by the Downtown Business Coalition and turned into a museum celebrating the heritage of the mammals from the Great North who had settled Tundratown after the weather wall had been built.

"The Jeweled Acorn is our pride and joy here at the Museum of the North," a tall distinguished looking moose in a blue suit explained as he showed the much smaller raccoon around inside the building. "It was a gift to the last czar of the arctic ground squirrels and is priceless."

Jake really wasn't looking at the artifacts or what was on display, although he felt his paws itch a time of two when he saw one or two gold or silver objects and fought his old urge to think about how he could sell them on the black market. That was a life he had left behind and he was now on the "other side of the law."

Several times, he stopped to look over an object's security measures with a practiced former criminal's eye. Tut tutting when he felt that those measures were inadequate and making suggestions to the curator, which the taller moose would write down on a pad.

Then they got to the room where the famous acorn was on display. It was sealed in a shatterproof glass box on top of a pressure plate, hard for a crook to try an attempted snatch and run, but not a problem for a trained burglar with the correct tools. "Well, someone would have to get into the building after hours and we have the best security system available," the curator replied. "Steel bars on the windows and there are also cameras which are located in each room and monitored all day and night."

Jake walked around the room observing the sensors and frowned at what he found. "I could get into this place and take the jewel without you even knowing!" he proclaimed to the surprised moose.

"Impossible!" the curator stated. "This place is like a fortress at night."

"Nothing is impossible, in fact I can get into this room today without going through any of the doors or windows," Jake chuckled. "Just give me a few minutes to change into my work clothes and I'll be right back!"

An hour passed, as the moose patently waited for the raccoon to appear, but he didn't.

Across town, Nick looked down at his personal cell phone. "I'm working coon," he answered the call. "I don't have time to chat."

"Wait, don't hang up!" Jake frantically said. "I need your help!"

"Can't it wait until after work?"

"I need you get a rope and come over to the Museum of the North."

"I can't stop an investigation to bring you some rope!"

"Look…ah, I need your help," Jake continued in almost a whisper. "I told the curator here at the museum that I could get into the building without going through any of the doors or windows."

"Okay and you want me to get you some rope why?"

"I'm…I'm…" Jake began to stutter. "Damn it fox, I'm stuck in a chimney and I can't get out! It's these booties, they don't have the same grip as my bare foot paws and I slipped. I'm wedged in tight and I can't get loose!"

Judy frowned when she looked over as her husband, who had burst out in laughter. "Nick, you can talk to Jake tonight after work," she sternly reprimanded him.

"No Carrots, you don't understand," the fox laughed. "Jake failed at being Santa Paws and is now stuck in a chimney!"

It took the fire department to finally pull the very embarrassed soot covered raccoon out of the old brick chimney, but he had found a flaw in the museum's security.


	52. Gazelle

**Chapter 52: Gazelle**

* * *

 **When Jake meets the famous singer.**

* * *

There was the sound of soft pattering as water dripped onto the raccoon's umbrella from the large leaves overhead. The moist humidity of the air around Jake was almost stifling this far down in the Rainforest District. The almost deafening sound of rushing water as it tumbled over boulders, which had been strategically placed in the nearby stream before it poured down a waterfall and into the wide brownish slower waters of the river beyond.

"The moisture alone will play hell on any cameras which would be placed down here, we will have to have some type of fan to move the air enough to prevent condensation," Jake yelled over the roaring water to his companion as thin brown-furred, tailless rat in a turquoise silk shirt and black slacks frowned back at him. "Any ideas?"

"Yeah, I vote yoz dump this client," the rat ironically nicknamed Tails scoffed. "I ain't got no confidence in this job."

"It looks like once they finish it's going to be a nice mansion, but there is no road access," the raccoon replied as he looked up at the huge house tucked up in the branches of a nearby tree. Green moss hung off off the surrounding trees but had not had time to grip onto the new building's undulating roofline and although the house's facade appeared to be made from bamboo, both Jake and Tails knew that there were solid mason cement bricks behind the faux exterior. The building jutted out over the lazy river below, where a boathouse sheltered two large powerboats. "We can't turn her down, you know that! Besides we're only making a bid for the contract, she isn't a client yet."

"Just cuz she is a famous broad, don't mean yoz haz ta make a bid."

"I can't pass up having Gazelle as a client, but why she plans to live down here is a mystery to me?"

"Don't yoz keep up on yer gossip rags do ya coon? She gots a nice penthouse suite downtown too, I bet she spends most her time there where she can be nice and dry."

"Sorry Tails, I'm not a fan of hers."

"Yer Bunny friend is and so is Chief Bogo," Tails continued as he gave the larger raccoon a shrug. "Guess I'd rather keep Bogo happy, I've been on the wrong side of his horns before."

"Who hasn't!" Jake laughed. "Come on, her manager gave me the key, so let's go inside to look around."

Once they entered the mansion, Tails made a beeline towards the basement to look at the wiring for a potential security system and Jake began to wander around the mostly empty rooms.

He had just gone upstairs and had entered a large bedroom, poking around with practiced burglar's eyes as he tried to case the joint for any valuables. "Ah there it is!" he proclaimed when he located the wall safe behind a rather gaudy painting. It wasn't the latest and greatest state of the art safe, just a simple off the shelf version. Setting his ear to the safe, he played with the dial for a few minutes until he heard the tumblers click. Opening it up, he gave a small chuckle when he found it was empty and then after completing his task, he closed it again.

He looked inside a rather huge walk-in closet and frowned at the rumpled clothes which had been lazily tossed upon the dark brown mahogany wooden floors. "Must be the maids," Jake sighed with a shrug. He turned and crossed the hallway to where the master bath was located and opened the door. A scream announced his presence and he stared in disbelief at the very naked gazelle relaxing in a bath full of bubbles.

Jake was dumbfounded as he stood there and stared, finally he somewhat gathered his wits and asked, "What the hell are you doing here and alone?"

The famous singer was staring wide-eyed at him before she grabbed at her cell phone, but her hoofs were soapy and the phone fell with a plunk into the bathwater. "GET OUT!" she screamed before she launched into a very verbal tirade in her native tongue.

 **"WAIT...WAIT!"**

The portly cheetah in the dark blue police uniformed scoffed as he sat his mug down and looked down the bar at the raccoon in the blue suit. There was a uniformed red fox sitting between them. "Wait, are you telling me you walked into the bathroom and Gazelle, the world's greatest singer...an angel with horns...was stark naked?"

"Yes Benny, she was in a bubble bath, I doubt that she wore her clothes in the bath!" the fox named Nick chucked. "Finish your story coon."

"Right," Jake sighed before he took another sip of his drink. "Where was I?"

"Gazelle was naked!" Clawhauser about screamed. "You were being a pervert and staring at HER!"

"Oh yeah," the raccoon chuckled. "Anyways after she screamed for me to leave, I about tripped over my feet trying to get out of the room. Things hadn't calmed down much by the time she finally came out the bathroom wrapped in a towel, she scowled at me and angrily asked why there was a raccoon in her bedroom. ' _Are you here to rob me or do worse?'_ I think is what she asked me. There was a wooden stool in her hoofs, which she tried to shake at me as she clutched at the towel to keep from loosing it. I finally choked out the fact that there was nothing in the house to take and that I was much smaller then she was and happily married at that. I think I said something like, let's not embarrass either one of us any more than we already have."

"Then what?" Clawhauser desperately asked.

"She didn't calm down much and began to call me a perverted stalker," Jake answered.

The raccoon stopped telling the story to nibble on a coup of the remaining kibble bits. "Don't leave us hanging Ringtail, poor Benny is starting to hyperventilate," Nick said with a smirk of his muzzle.

"Well by then I had enough!" Jake continued. "I looked her straight in the eyes and told her to calm down, I was not a stalker or even a fan. That I had been contacted by her manager to give him a quote on providing a security system for the house."

"What did she say then?" Ben asked as he leaned closer, almost crowding out the fox who was between him and the raccoon.

"She stared at me and then said that she knew me from somewhere," Jake answered. "I told her that we had first met when the mayor gave me that medal for helping stop the feline distemper outbreak and then she said she also remembered me from when I led the search for those two scouts lost on Howler Mountain. You know Nick that I've got a picture of her and me, which was taken at one of her charity fundraisers, but I figured that she met so many folks at those events that she would never remember me from that. I left her to dress and waited for her downstairs, by then the maid had finally returned."

"You stayed in her house?" Nick asked before he pushed the oversize cheetah back and away from him.

"Sure and after she dressed, she came down and we sat on the floor and talked. She seemed rather lonely," Jake replied. "It turns out that she snuck away from her security guards and came there for some alone time, quiet time from the immense social and career pressures of being a superstar. I told her that was a very dangerous thing to do and that of everything in this place, she was the most valuable."

"Aw, that was sweet!" Clawhauser gushed.

"I don't think he meant it that way," Nick sarcastically scoffed.

"She took it that way too," Jake laughed as he gave a shrug. "But you are right Nick, I meant value as in kitnapping. But since she had calmed down, I left it at that. We sat and chatted about her life and other things while eating lunch on the floor of her mostly empty mansion."

"So you got the contract?" Nick asked as he leaned back on his bar stool.

"Nope, we got underbid by Acme," Jake sighed.


	53. Le Rouge Strikes

**Chapter 53: Le Rouge Strikes**

* * *

 **Zootopia's musical superstar Gazelle's newly completed mansion is robbed by a master burglar.**

* * *

Drip! Drip! The sound of water drops falling from between an unsealed crack in the now completed mansion's overhang drew the raccoon in the dark brown business suit's attention while he stood in front of the open doorway. The raccoon named Jake Runnel reached up and adjusted his canary yellow tie as he awaited the tall muscular tiger inside to invite him past the yellow plastic police tape and into the room. Below them, red and blue lights flashed from police boats on the wide river. The river was still the only direct route up to the building nestled on the side of the oversized tree, a driveway from the nearby roadway above had never been built. The property was now surrounded by a tall chain fence painted black so that it was not quite as visible and suitable for keeping out the casual snooper, but easily scaled by anyone with some basic skills. The landscaping near the entryway was still incomplete, causing small steams of black mud to wash over onto the tile walkway near the entrance.

The tiger in the cheap blue suit was Detective Sargent Fangmyer, he and the raccoon had a long history with each other. It was the tiger and his partner, a timber wolf named Alan Wolford, who had arrested Jake years earlier for burglary. Now the detective had brought the former thief into this particular case as an advisor. This was not only a high profile case, already being enthusiastically covered by the press, but was also one which the detective's police chief, Adrian Bogo, was desperately wanting to be solved. There were hopes that the perpetrator might be quickly brought to swift and sure justice, for the sake of the department's reputation.

"Acme is the security provider," Jake scoffed as his best friend Nick Wilde joined him by the doorway. "So why were they not brought in on this case? You two do know that she's not my client?" He was glaring at the singer's business manager inside the building, the bespectacled hare in the tan suit refused to even look his way.

The uniformed red fox shook his head as he motioned the raccoon to follow him into the mansion. "You and I know they are amateurs compared to your team," Nick answered as he gave Jake a smile. "Besides, Benny asked Bogo to call you. You know how Clawhauser all but worships Gazelle, not to mention Bogo is a huge fan too."

"Yeah, Ben called me right after it was reported," Jake chuckled. "He actually begged me to look into this."

"So do you have any ideas who might have robbed this place?" " Fangmeyer asked as he joined them at the entry. "Whoever did this just cleaned out the safe and then took six pairs of shoes."

"Shoes? Why would someone steal shoes?" Nick scoffed. "Do we know any thieves with hoof fetishes?"

"Considering how much of the alarm system, cameras, and sensors are almost off the shelf quality, it could be anyone," Jake answered as he looked at the keypad by the door. "This was a simple job, well over a dozen guys could have done this. Even Duke Weaselton could have gotten in here and he's just a two-bit petty thief. As for the shoes, I'm sure Gazelle has some creepy mega-fans who would pay big for anything she owns, especially her shoes since they are kind of her signature style. You should ask Ben about that, he's the unofficial Gazelle expert and might know something about the black market in celebrity stuff."

"That's not what I wanted to hear," the tiger grunted as he shook his head.

"So it's a good thing that I expected this to happen," the raccoon quickly added.

"Wait, you what?" Nick asked as he looked back at his friend in surprise.

"I figured that Gazelle's business manager would take the low ball price," Jake said with a grin. "Just look around at this place, it is cut-rate construction at its best, with cheap materials and shoddy work. I knew that he wouldn't give us the contract because of our price, even though it was a fair quote, and that would lead to someone else skimping on the security measures. So when I was here earlier, I cracked open her safe and left a small gift inside. A very small mouse-sized GPS tracking device with a sticky back, did you find anything like that still in the safe?"

"No," Fangmeyer replied. "The safe was completely cleaned out."

"Good, then it stuck to something which was stored inside!" the raccoon added with a grin. "If you follow the signal, it will lead you to the thief or at least to who is fencing the stolen goods."

"Great, where's the transponder?" The tiger asked. "We'll jump on it now, maybe we can wrap this up quickly."

"First a few rules," Jake said with a smile. "I only give the transponder to Nick and I am left out of any police reports and the news, I have an image of being a bit of a rogue to maintain."

"No, you don't!" Nick scoffed. "You've been watching too many of my movies. I knew we shouldn't have watched those old _Thin Mammal_ movies, you're starting to act like that detective Nick Charles!"

"I don't drink anywhere near that much!" the raccoon objected. "Just how did he ever get anything done in those movies anyway, he always had a drink in his paw?"

"Still he did so with a sophisticated style, something you lack coon," the fox teased back.

"Hey, I have style!" Jake protested as he held his paws to his chest in a mocking manner. "I have a lot more style then you do!"

"Nice clothes can't hide a Happy Town boy," Nick chuckled. "Despite all your efforts, you are still rough along the edges."

"Focus you two!" Fangmeyer interjected. "We have a case to crack. Besides, what Runnel did was borderline illegal and in the gray zone for cops."

"Well, then it's a good thing I'm not a cop!" the raccoon laughed.

Hours later the tracking signal led the police to a familiar business hotel in downtown Zootopia and to a luxury penthouse on the very top floor. Piled upon a patio table, just outside of the fifty-second story luxury suite, were some of the stolen goods and in the center of the pile was a single purple flower with the tracker attached.

"This has to be Le Rouge!" Jake cursed as he stood on his suite's deck and watched the police team as they logged in the evidence.

"The only things missing are the shoes," Fangmeyer snapped out in frustration. "Why did he do all of this just for the shoes?"

"Benny said that the Preyda shoes could easily go for several thousand bucks each," Nick answered. "The styles she wears are at least half a grand new and the pair she wore during her _"Coming Together"_ charity concert, after the Nighthowler Case, sold for five thousand bucks at a charity auction earlier this year. The right fan with money might pay even more for her shoes on the black market, especially the pair that was from her _Can You Feel the Fur Tonight_ world tour a few years ago."

"As for why he left the rest of the stolen goods at my place?" Jake added. "He wants to both challenge and humiliate me by doing so. This is now personal between me and that thieving red panda!"

* * *

 **Disclaimer: The Thin Man and the character of Nick Charles are the creation of the talented writer Dashiell Hammett. William Powell and Myrna Loy played the crime-busting couple in the 1934 film. This film is one of Nick's and this old goat's favorite.**


	54. It Started with a Movie

**Chapter 54: It Started with a Movie**

* * *

 **Jake and Marie go to a movie with Nick and Judy.**

* * *

The winter night air was crisp and the city's downtown bright lights banished the evening's darkness from around them as two raccoons, a fox and a rabbit strolled down the sidewalk towards a nearby restaurant. Although chilly, it was a pleasant enough night for the friends to be out and about while they enjoyed the first few days of the brand new year together. A white flake or two of snow lazily drifted down upon them, but they were not enough to be of concern.

"I may not be an expert in the cinema, but that movie was just plain stupid!" One of the raccoons, a handsome thinly muscular male named Jake, complained to the red fox walking next to him. "Dystopia is even a rip-off of this city's name!" He paused for a moment to adjust the black and white checkered scarf he wore and to tuck it into his fashionable black wool peacoat. The female raccoon, his wife Marie, stopped and took the opportunity to zip up her own dark grey parka a little higher before she pulled the hood over her head and ears.

"I didn't think it was that bad for an action flick. A little dark perhaps, but I'm not complaining because the hero fox got his bunny before the end of the movie," the raccoon's best friend Nick replied as the fox's right paw slipped down past the raised gray furred ears of his wife Judy and onto her shoulder, pulling the rabbit doe in the blue jacket even closer to his side. Unlike his friend, who seemed to enjoy wearing his stylish clothing, the fox wore an old lime green ski jacket and a pair of denim blue jeans. "Sure we had the poor innocent fox being chased by those cops and the bad guys all over the city, but in the end, it was the bunny who saved him."

"That sounds familiar, doesn't it Slick?" Judy laughed.

"Yeah, a rabbit and a fox save the city," Jake sarcastically added. "I just wonder where they got that idea from? You know they should have made the movie about you two! You guys solved both the Missing Mammals case and then saved the city from Bellwether and her Nighthowlers scheme. That would have made a great movie!"

"Well, at least no one has ever made those tame collars, like the ones in the movie, for us predators to wear around our necks!" Marie sighed as she took her husband's arm and leaned against the other raccoon's shoulder. "Just think how terrible it would be to have to really have to live like that!"

Jake looked over at Nick and Judy, they were aware just how close Dawn Bellwether and her followers had come to instituting such a plan in the city.

"Still, they should have at least asked you two to be advisors for the movie," Jake complained. "Maybe for the cop scenes, they were not quite realistic, and the other scenes… were...well, you know what I mean?"

"The movie was rated R," Nick laughed. "Although once everyone in the theater realized that Carrots and I were in the audience together, they kept glancing at us during the more romantic scenes. That was a little disconcerting watching a fox making out with a rabbit on the screen while surrounded by all those other animals who were watching the movie and then looking at you wondering if that is the way you two..."

"Nick!" Judy protested, cutting off what else he was going to add.

"Yeah, there was one love scene which I could have skipped," Jake snickered with a grin. "You know, the one with the more than partial nudity…"

"Okay, this conversation is getting very awkward you two perverts!" Judy quickly interjected. Everyone could see her ears were blushing.

"Still it is kind of a milestone to have a red fox as the main character in a movie," Nick mused. "Not long ago we foxes would have been either the silly sidekick for the hero or the first to get killed by the villain."

"Or you were cast as the villain," Marie added. "Unless the fox was a vixen and then she was always a slut or someone not very flattering."

"Vixens in movies," Jake laughed. "Those are mostly porn flicks!"

"Jake!" his wife snapped as she elbowed him in his side. "That wasn't very nice! So stud, do I need to put a parental block on that particular cable channel?"

"Aw, you know I don't watch those kinds of movies anymore!" the male raccoon objected. "I've got you to keep me warm at nights now."

"Sure you don't Stud," Marie giggled. "You should clear your laptop's browser sometimes."

"Well anyway, that was definitely not Oscar material!" Jake quickly stated as he tried to change the subject. He also tried to avoid the knowing grin his mate was giving him.

"Still, it was not bad for an action flick," Nick interjected as he played along with the desperate raccoon's attempt. "Especially the scene when they roared down the street in that stolen muscle car with all those police cars chasing after them. That bunny's driving left the cops in a smoldering pile of twisted metal and she didn't even droop an ear!"

"So says the fox who always teases me about my driving!" Judy laughed.

"Well you are a little heavy pawed on the gas in the police cruisers sometimes," the fox chuckled.

"At least she can drive," Marie snickered at Jake.

"I can drive!" the raccoon objected. "I just can't do so legally. After all, why would anyone want to spend hours at the DMV waiting in line for Flash or one of his sloth coworkers to process your application for a learner's permit? We live in the world's most modern city!" the raccoon dramatically continued as he waved his paw in the air. "A modern metropolis with state of the art public transportation, so who needs a car?"

"Except that the subway never seems to go where you want it to go, without changing lines once or twice" Nick observed.

"That's why we have taxis!" Jake quickly added.

"Why do you never take Zuber?" Judy asked the raccoon.

"Because I know most of the taxi drivers in the city," Jake answered with a shrug. "Besides, there is nothing like taking a traditional yellow taxi cab during your daily adventures."

"You do call Kevin at over at Tundratown Limo a lot to drag your sorry tail around," Nick quipped. "Those large black limos are a far cry from one of those yellow taxi cabs you're talking about."

"When you own a company, sometimes you have to show some class," Jake sighed. "Arriving at a client's mansion in a beat-up old taxi doesn't exactly project an image of success."

"I still say that wasn't a bad movie," Nick quickly added to change the subject again. He liked to do that sometimes to his best friend, just to keep the raccoon off balance during the conversation.

"Okay, I'll confess that it really wasn't that horrible," Jake said as he held the restaurant door open for his wife and then Judy. He playfully cut Nick off from entering, but before he did he called over his shoulder, "There should have been a raccoon or two in the film, that would have made it better!"

"There wasn't a role for a thief in the movie," Nick replied in a semi-serious manner, trying not to grin at the look the raccoon gave him.

"Why do we raccoons have to be cast as always being thieves? We're not all criminals!"

"So says the guy who was arrest for what?" the fox mused as he put his right paw on his chin and looked up like he was pondering something. "What was that again?

"Shut up fox!"

"Oh yes, that's right, you were arrested for burglary."

"So says the flimflam artist!"

"Flimflam, I don't think anyone has used that term in at least one hundred years or so?"

"Okay, you were a con artist…a swindler…" the raccoon began to countdown on his digits.

"I was an independently creative entrepreneur!" the fox laughed.

"You were a street hustler," Jake snapped back with a thin smile. "I should know because you ripped me off that one time."

"Okay!" Nick laughed. "So the raccoon doesn't have to be a thief. He could be a sidekick for the fox instead, just like you are my sidekick!"

"Sidekick? Sidekick?" Jake huffed back. "I'm not your sidekick!

"Sure you are, just ask anyone down at the station," Nick continued with a grin. "They see you and they all say, look here comes Nick's sidekick Jake!"

"They do not!" Jake began to chuckle.

Marie looked down at Judy and just sighed, "Here they go again, so let's grab a drink at the bar while they hash this out."


	55. A Challenge Accepted

**Chapter 55: A Challenge Accepted**

* * *

 **Jake confronts Le Rouge**

* * *

It was one thing to burglarize an office building which was a client of Jake Runnel's, but to do so knowing the corporation was itself owned by the wealthy business mammal Mister Big was beyond bold. Many of the city's professional criminal element knew that the small shrew was also an alleged mobster leader and therefore, such a job could be considered by many in their trade as suicidal, but sill the master burglar known as Le Rouge did exactly that.

Using their contacts in the city's underground crime community, the Northern Mob quickly found out the whereabouts of the red panda. Instead of sending one of the many large polar bear enforcers, such as Kevin or Raymond, Mister Big allowed Jake to confront the thief instead. The raccoon found Le Rouge sitting in a booth inside of an old bar in a rundown section of the city known as Happy Town, the thief was flanked by two mangy looking coyotes. Standing in front of the booth, Jake casually adjusted the cuffs of his dark gray business suit as he looked over at the smiling red panda sitting before him.

"Well, it didn't take you long to find me!" Le Rouge laughed as he sipped his cup of hot tea. His two bodyguards seemingly glared up at the raccoon. The larger of the two coyotes had a scar along his chin and wore a woven dream catcher above his open white dress shirt. His claws seemed to be dug into his blue jean clad legs. The other canine wore a green sport shirt and casually chewed on a toothpick.

The raccoon didn't say anything but raised his right eyebrow slightly and both of the larger, more muscular, coyotes lowered the muzzles submissively in response before they slipped out of the booth. "Where do you think you're going?" the red panda called out in surprise as they silently passed by the raccoon.

"You really don't know that much about me, do you?" Jake softly growled as he sat down on the other side of the wooden table. "The coyotes call me The Thief and I am part of their tribe, at least since Howler's Mountain. The thing about coyote tribes is that they always take care of their own and since you hurt my reputation, you also insulted them."

"There is no way that a raccoon is a member of a coyote tribe!" Le Rouge scoffed and then he grew silent when he noticed most of the patrons inside the bar were now coyotes, foxes, and wolves.

"Happy Town has changed a lot while you were last locked up," the raccoon continued as he waved for the waitress to bring him a glass of soda water. Sipping the drink, Jake looked the master burglar straight in his eyes. "Times have changed around here and the old gang hatreds have finally been put to rest. There was once a good cop by the name of Phil Barsto who patrolled these streets at night, my pal Nick said he was a great guy and the first male spotted hyena to become a police officer. He was really loved and respected around here and when he was killed, they threw him a big funeral. Afterward, the folks around here realized that the big wigs downtown only gave lip service about improving the living conditions for everyone living here. That's when the rival gangs got together and decided to change things themselves and to make this part of the city better for the next generation. They cleaned up the streets of crime and so when you showed up…well, let's just say they have been watching you."

"And what have they found out, except that their so-called mystical raccoon named The Thief is mortal and fallible like the rest of them?" Le Rouge tried to ask in a mocking manner, but the fear in his voice was evident. Even with his perfume, the scent of that fear was also there.

"Oh there is nothing mystical about me and they know I am as mortal as the rest of them, with all my very evident flaws," Jake shot back as he slammed the glass down, making the red panda jump slightly. "Now let's just cut to the chase and you can tell me why you robbed a building owned by Mister Big? Are you suicidal of something or did you just want to take an icy swim?"

"I did it to test you Runnel, to find out if you are worthy enough!"

"Worthy enough to do what?"

"To be one of us!" the red panda answered as his paw touched the purple flower on his black sweatshirt.

"Who do you mean?" Jake softly growled as he leaned forward toward the thief.

"But alas, you have too many friends and enemies on both sides of the law to be of any value," Le Rouge sighed as he seemingly leaned back into the booth. Suddenly before anyone, including Jake could act, the red panda pounced upon the table and leaped toward the white tile clad ceiling, knocking one of the water-stained hanging rectangular tiles down upon the raccoon as he disappeared into the darkness of the drop ceiling before everyone's eyes.

"Damn it!" Jake cursed as he leaped upon the table and tried to jump high enough to reach into the opening. A large wolf quickly came behind him, he picked up the raccoon and held Jake high enough to pull himself inside. Carefully Jake tried to follow the thief, but he was too late and Le Rouge was already gone. Dropping down upon the bar, he looked around. "I lost him!" he said to a familiar-looking red fox.

The fox was his best friend Nick Wilde and he just sighed as he lifted his paw to help the raccoon get off the bar top. "It's a good thing we didn't tell Bogo you found him," the fox said. "Now what do we do?"

Jake looked around at the others inside the room and nodded.

Suddenly an elderly coyote sitting at the bar raised his muzzle and gave out a long howl. He was quickly joined by others, including the wolves and foxes. The gangs of Happy Town were on the hunt again.

* * *

 **Phil Barsto is from my story** **Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption - Sins of Our Fathers.** "We live in those neighborhoods to get away from your kind," a deep voice said from the doorway. Nick looked up and there was a brutish looking hyena standing there. His uniform looked rumpled and sloppy. He stood a little over five feet tall with yellowish-grey fur that had irregular patterned spots, his head was flattish with a blunt muzzle. His smile showed his strong white teeth in his powerful-looking jaws. Entering the room, he came to attention and saluted the tiger before adding, "Officer Phillip Barsto reporting for duty."


	56. Cornered & Caught

**Chapter 56: Cornered & Caught**

* * *

 **Le Rouge is caught, but he gives Jake a warning.**

* * *

"Your days are numbered Runnel!" the red panda growled as he blocked one of the raccoon's punches. The orangish-red and white ringtailed mammal and the black and gray ringtailed mammal seemed to appear almost dancing in the dark on top of the sagging old tenant building's rooftop as they struck and parried each other's blows. They were both as equally well trained in the art of Red Panda style martial arts fighting as the other. "You have enemies who are hunting you even today, they are just waiting for orders to strike and when they do, you will wish that you were dead!"

"You mean those who were working with Scarface Scaresse and who tried to frame me, Nick, and Al Catpone?" Jake huffed out as he twisted away from Le Rouge just before the red panda's kick could hit him. "They failed to get those charges to stick and as for our intended demise in prison, they underestimated the many friends I have which would come to my aid."

"I didn't think you had the balls to kill Scarface?" Le Rouge panted out as he struck yet again, but his swing was deflected this time by the raccoon's arm.

"I didn't kill him, he fell," Jake replied in a not too convincing tone, causing the red panda to give a thin smile. He knew that the raccoon felt remorse over the large one-eyed tiger's death and that was Jake Runnel's one great weakness…he cared about others.

"Scarface was but a tool for those who are after you!" the red panda snapped as he twisted and kicked out, this time his foot paw caught the raccoon on his chest and knocked him backward.

It had been a long chase from one rooftop to another and even though a tree or two. Below the two ringtailed combatants, a posse of coyotes and wolves chased after them, hunting more with their noses than their eyes. Finally cornered, the red panda turned to face the pursuing raccoon. Le Rouge was cornered and now it came down to who was the better fighter, which was something both knew how to do but had spent a lifetime trying to avoid.

Jake caught Le Rouge's next kick with both of his paws and shoved the now unbalanced red panda backward, "Who are you working for!" he growled as he twisted and kicked out with his own right foot paw, catching the thief across the tip of his muzzle.

Le Rouge grunted as he wiped the blood from his nose, panting on the ground while he looked up at the raccoon who loomed over him. The sounds of approaching police sirens filled the air, along with the whirling blades of a helicopter. Then a bright light from above illuminated the two combatants and the rooftop around them. "I said, who are you working for!" Jake snarled as he grabbed the seemingly defeated red panda's black sweatshirt.

"What are you going to do now Runnel? There are now too many witnesses for you to accidentally cause me to fall from this rooftop like Scaresse did or are you going to leave me to drown in some icy waters like you did that crazed priest?" Le Rouge sarcastically laughed. His words caused Jake to hesitate, giving the thief an opening which he took. The red panda's upward blow caught the raccoon on his chin and sent him staggering backward. "You're too soft!" the thief growled. "You feel too much remorse for your actions to ever be one of us!"

Jake tried to shake off the effects of the blow, but before he could strike back, a reddish-orange paw firmly gripped his arm and pulled him away even as a gray and blue blur raced past them. The raccoon turned in confusion to face his best friend Nick. "We've got him, Jake," the fox said. "Le Rouge isn't getting away this time." Behind the fox stood Fangmeyer and Wolford, but neither one of the police officers were moving forward to arrest the thief and so Jake turned back to see what was going on behind him. Just then he heard the red panda give a grunt and then a curse.

Judy had caught the thief in the chest with her first kick and twirled yet again to land another powerful blow with her other foot paw across his muzzle, causing Le Rouge to stumble and fall shakenly onto the broken tar rooftop. Even before the red panda could recover, she was on top of his back while she pulled his paws behind him as she cuffed him. Then just as quick, she pulled out a long black plastic zip tie and bound the thief's legs tightly together.

"Well that puts an end to his little crime spree," Nick whispered to Jake. "Did he tell you who he was working for?"

"No, but he warned me that someone is out to get me," Jake softly panted. "He knows something."

"You will wish you were dead!" Le Rouge softly chuckled as Fangmeyer reached down and lifted him from the ground. "Dead raccoon! You will wish you were dead!"

"You have the right to remain silent..." the tiger began to tell the thief his rights as he hauled the defeated red panda towards the rooftop doorway.

Jake sat down on the loose gravel and rubbed his chin. Nick took a seat next to him, even as the helicopter's light was turned off and the semidarkness of the city night returned. "What the hell was he talking about?" the fox asked. "Does this have to do with whoever tried to set us up?"

"I don't know, Nick?" Jake wearily mumbled. "I just don't know."

"Well if anyone can get him to talk, it's Bogo!" Judy added with confidence as she joined them.

"You know I chased Le Rouge halfway across Happy Town and fought with him for what seemed like hours," the raccoon sarcastically said with a smile as he looked up at the rabbit, who was standing before him. "Then you came and it took you only two kicks to drop him!"

"You must have already worn him down?" Judy answered with a shrug of her shoulders as she took a seat next to the raccoon and took his paw in hers.

"Carrots was always a better fighter than both you and I combined," Nick softly snickered as he threw his arm over Jake's shoulder. "You already know that, after all she took you down in only two moves that time you and she boxed at the station."

"Shut up fox!" Jake chuckled as he softly elbowed Nick.

The three friends just rested in the darkness as they looked up at the peaceful stars over their heads, not knowing of the profound changes, both good and bad, which the new year would bring for the raccoon and those he loved. As for Le Rouge, he wouldn't talk even when he was found guilty and went back to prison.

* * *

 **Jake fought with the gangster "Scarface" Scaresse in Chapter 29 of** _ **Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption**_ **and the sinister tiger fell to his death during the battle. Documents were left with the dead body of Al Catpone's secretary which falsely implicated Jake and Nick, along with Catpone, of crimes they did not commit. While in detention, the two friends were suddenly transferred in the dead of the night to the Zootopia Maximum Security Penitentiary and left bound in the cafeteria where an old enemy of Jake's named Chopper and his warthog biker gang were waiting. It was the intervention of many of Jake's incarcerated friends who saved them that night.**


	57. The Spoon Lady

**Chapter 57: The Spoon Lady**

* * *

 **This chapter was inspired by the talented** **Abby "The Spoon Lady" Roach of Ashville, NC. You can find her music online and I encourage you to watch some of the videos made of her performing.**

 **Several months have passed since Le Rouge was captured and the red panda's warning to Jake was fulfilled. Now, the raccoon and those he loves, are having to adjust to the consequences of his being shot by a modified strain of the dreaded Nighthowler serum and the aftereffects of its cure.  
**

* * *

"Aw come on!" Jake protested as he watched a gray furred coyote with an old black colored top hat on his head sitting down upon a chair on the bar's small stage. "You dragged me and Marie all the way across the city to this dive just to make us listen to some hick mountain music?

"I like mountain music," the female raccoon commented as she grabbed the male raccoon's arm and kept him from standing up. "Sit down Sugar and for once in your life, try to be a little more patient. Ever since you got shot with that modified Nighthowler serum you're shorter tempered than usual."

"Yes dear," the raccoon grumbled as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of sunglasses, even though it was relatively dark inside of the bar, he slipped them on. "You do know that ever since you got pregnant, you're a lot more bossy than usual."

"A mother in the making!" Judy laughed. "You should see my mother. She can keep the whole household in line, including my father, with just that special glare of hers."

"Your mother also has a zillion kits," Nick chuckled as he draped his right arm over the back of the chair his wife was sitting in and smiled when she snuggled closer to him.

"Rabbits!" Jake simply stated.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Judy asked as her ears shot up. There was the sound of the coyote tuning up his banjo in the background.

"It's just you rabbits always have huge families," the raccoon continued. "How do you keep up with everyone's names?"

"Bunnies seem to have a real good memory, that's how," Nick snickered. "Trust me, I know because she remembers everything I do wrong."

"That's a lot to remember, you sly old Fox!" Judy said as she pulled on Nick's tie, so she could reach his cheek to give it a kiss.

Sitting back up straight, the fox watched with concern as the raccoon rubbed his eyes before he slipped on the sunglasses again. "Your eyes are hurting?" he softly asked.

"The coyote shamans say it will take some time for me to adjust to the physical changes caused by the flowers," Jake sighed as he looked over at his best friend. Before the attack, the raccoon's eyes were a soft brown, just like Marie's, but now they were a strange pale yellow. "Every time one of them calls it an awakening, I keep thinking of that old movie _Highlander_."

"Oh gods, what a nightmare!" Nick snickered. "An immortal Jake Runnel!"

"Ha…ha…Not funny fox!" the raccoon chuckled. "You know that's not what is happening, it's just that my senses are on overdrive and I have to learn to adjust to the changes. I see better in the dark then you do and hear things almost as good as Judy can. Let's not get to talking about my sense of smell, I don't know how Wolford and the wolves can handle that every day?"

"You will learn to live with these changes buddy," Nick softly answered as he put a paw on Jake's shoulder. "I'll always be there if you need help."

"Thanks," the raccoon sighed. "I just wish we could figure out who and why I was shot in the first place?"

"They went after Mister Big's associates," Judy answered. "We're positive the chemical was Doug Ramsey's doing again, but we still don't know where he is and who he is working for or with."

Jake was going to continue the conversation, but instead, he stopped while he sniffed the air before he turned to look back at the stage. "I knew I smelled another female raccoon!"

A thin raccoon took a seat next to the banjo player, she was wearing a pair of blue jean overalls and had placed a bell, like one of those which had once been used on the counters at stores to be rung for service, onto the floor next to her foot paw. "You've got to be kidding?" Marie said excitedly as she happily clasped her paws together. "She's a spoon player, I haven't seen anyone play the spoons since Uncle Mort died!"

"What's a spoon player?" Jake asked, his muzzle was slightly scrunched up in confusion and a couple of his lower teeth were showing.

"You are such a city coon!" Marie laughed. "It is an old way of making music! We raccoons are one of the few animals who can play them, it's because we've got five digits on each of our paws."

"They just look like soup spoons to me," Jake scoffed. "Anyone can hit two metal spoons together, that's not music…" Just then the raccoon on the stage stepped down upon the bell, making it go ding as she held the spoons in one paw and began to hit them together against her leg and then the other paw. Jake's mouth dropped open at the tinkling, clacking, clinking tempo she was making with the two teaspoons, he never had heard anything like that before.

The banjo then began to play, the well-worn strings plunking along with the spoon player's beat. Marie was leaning forward with her elbows on the table and her paws clasped together as she stared enthralled at the two musicians. Her right foot paw, however, was tapping to the tune. Suddenly she straightened up with a small gasp.

"What's wrong?" Judy quietly asked as she looked over and watched the raccoon put a paw on her belly.

"I think one of the babies is dancing!" Marie answered with a smile. "He's kicking to the music!"

"Come on honey, I'm sure he's just moving about," Jake scoffed.

"No, feel!" She replied as she grabbed her husband's paw and put it on her stomach. Jake could indeed feel that at least one of the babies was moving.

Little did the two of them know that their son Freddie would be a talented and accomplished musician who could play any instrument which he could get his paws on, including the spoons!

* * *

 **You can find more about Jake's being shot with the new strain of Nighthowlers made from the** **Midnicampum holicithias in _Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption,_** ** _ **Chapter 33: Raccoon's Don't Howl**. _He was cured by Mister Walker and ****Annie, two coyote shamans, who pointed out to the "esteemed" city doctors that the plant, the call the "Savage Flower", had been around for centuries and had been used by the coyote tribes for religious purposes.**

 _The doctors scoffed and one said, " A witch doctor's hocus pocus."_

 _Clearing his throat, the elderly coyote asked, "Would the Great Creator not make one without the other? Everything is balanced, female to male, prey to predator, the night to the day. How long has the blue flower been around and do you not think that others have not felt its ways before now?"_


	58. Two Posters

**Chapter 58: Two Posters**

* * *

 ** **This chapter is inspired by Flapjack's excellent comic, _Rough Diamond_. ****

**Jake comes over to Nick and Judy's apartment with something he found. However, he doesn't get the reaction he expected from his friend.**

* * *

"You won't believe what I found!" the raccoon in the dark blue sport shirt and well-starched khaki trousers excitedly proclaimed as he shoved past the red fox and into the apartment. There was a long cardboard tube in his paws and he grinned up at the fox in the old tee shirt and ratty looking pair of jeans. "I found it in Pete's old junk store downtown and just had to get it for you!"

"What I can't believe is that you knocked long enough for me to let you in coon and didn't pick the lock again," the fox sarcastically replied as he sipped his glass of iced tea. "So what's the big surprise?"

"This! This!" Jake laughed as he slipped two posters from the tube and began to unroll them on the kitchen table. "It's a set of those posters they made of Judy years ago!"

The first poster showed Judy in her dark blue police uniform, with her hat tucked in her left arm and her ears erect, as she was confidently smiling. The city was in the background and the words integrity, honesty and bravery were printed in gold lettering, along with a copy of a police badge. The other showed her in her usual light blue and dark blue field uniform proudly thrusting her badge out in her paw. Trust, honor, and service were the words printed on this one.

"I remember these," Nick said. "They began sticking them everywhere after Carrots and I solved the Missing Mammal's case. They even kept using them after she quit and went home."

"She was the public face of the ZPD, the city's great bunny hero!" Jake laughed.

"She was the most hated face on the ZPD for us preds," Nick softly replied as he ran his paw over the picture of Judy proudly showing her badge. "Gods, she was so naive back then!"

"I mostly remember that poster, they put it at all the bus stops down on River Street. My friend Jerry tore the first one down and peed on it, he must have been holding it back for just that occasion because who knew snow leopards could piss that long?" Jake laughed. "When they put a new one up, we left it because a street artist had gotten to it first and drew a beer over the badge. He did some of the other ones around the area too, most were much more obscene. It was really kind of creatively funny what he did and we all got our laughs about it."

"It wasn't funny to Judy, that was the low point of her life. I had stormed away from her and she thought she had broken the city."

"What did she say during that press conference, wasn't it something about being savage was in our nature?"

" _It may have something to do with biol_ ogy… _aggressive hunting instincts… reverting back to their primitive, savage ways_ , those were her exact words! Trust me, I was there and those words were seared into my soul."

"You must have been really angry with her that day, I'll bet!" Jake said as he held up and admired one of the posters. He didn't notice the sad look the fox gave him.

"Angry, sure I was angry," Nick finally replied. He now almost looked as if he was overcome with weariness as the fox sat down in a seat and sighed again. "I never have told anyone this before and just Judy and Finn, thanks to Finn's big mouth, know about what happened to me after the press conference. I ran home and just sat on my old rickety bed as my anger gave way to a sense of betrayal…I had trusted her and that was something I didn't do easily back then."

The raccoon took a seat next to the fox, who was staring at the floor. "I was losing it when Finn found me there alone. He had warned me long ago, when I was just a kit, not to trust anyone. As I tried to sarcastically joke about things, he…he stubbed out his cigarette and stepped onto the bed, so that he was taller than me, and then grabbed my tie. Jake, I was in my thirties and should have known better, but I just stood there in his arms and cried like a baby."

If the fox expected the raccoon to make fun of him, he was disappointed. Instead, Jake stood up and hugged him.

After a few minutes, the two best friends awkwardly separated as Jake went over and began rolling up the posters again. "I guess somethings should just remain in the past?" he said as he slipped the posters back in the tube and put the lid on it again.

* * *

 **The first poster is based on the ZPD flyer Bellwether had in the movie and the second is based on the Disney promotional artwork of Judy showing her badge.**


	59. A Scared Raccoon

**Chapter 59: A Scared Raccoon**

* * *

 **Marie's being pregnant dredges up an old wound of Jake's and he tells his best friend Nick**

* * *

"Nick, I'm really scared!" the raccoon admitted as he stood near the railing and looked down at the water below him. The banks of the large pond were lined with the early blooms of cheery yellow-flowered daffodils. "I'm scared to lose Marie like my father did my mother when I was born."

The taller red fox pulled the sleeves of his tan canvas jacket higher up his arms before he put his right paw on the raccoon's shoulder. "That was almost thirty years ago and at a rundown clinic in Happy Town," Nick replied. "You've got one of the best doctors in the city and she will be in a modern hospital in Tundratown."

"Still…" Jake began again, before he stopped speaking and just stared at the ducks swimming on the water below.

He felt the fox's other paw reach over and rummage into his coat pocket, removing his sunglasses. "Here put these on," Nick softly chided him. "You know what Mister Walker said about protecting those eyes of yours from too much light. Come on and put those on, you don't want to go blind like that old yote."

Jake slipped the glasses over his pale yellow eyes and gave a worried sigh.

"Didn't the doc say everything is going just fine with the pregnancy?" Nick continued as he went back to watching the ducks. "Besides, when Marie is closer to her delivery date, both of you are staying at the Big's family mansion in Tundratown where there is a nurse on site. I know that neither one of you could refuse both Mrs. Big and Fru Fru hospitality when they insisted, you're like family to them."

"Still, I'm worried. What if something goes wrong, how could I ever live without her?"

"Just like your father did when he lost your mother and my mother did when my father was killed. You live one day at a time, besides you know you Carrots and I will be there for you!"

"Great, my experience with bunnies hasn't been stellular and you already marked me once that night you were drunk," the raccoon sarcastically replied with a grin. "I never thought I'd ever get that stench out of my fur."

"You know that wasn't what I meant, pervert!" Nick laughed at the raccoon's lame attempt at humor even as he gave his best friend a nudge of his elbow. "Hey, that time I marked you, I was drunk and thought you were Judy!"

"I had just started dating Marie and I made a fool out of myself trying to explain what happened the next morning."

"You used to make a fool out of yourself around her all the time! Remember that night you approached her at the bar? When you went up to her, you couldn't get a straight word out of your mouth."

"Okay, so I was tongue-tied! She was the first girl I really, really, wanted to go out with. I was trying too hard to be suave and debonair, instead, I was a klutz. Then her roommate got me to accidentally dump my drink on my pants, I got embarrassed and ran home without even getting her name!"

"Sometimes I still can't believe that you never really never dated a girl before Marie?" Nick laughed.

"When I was in school, I was consumed with wanting to get good grades so I could go to college. Then when I was in college, I thought I was in love with Sonya and I was too shy to ask her out," Jake chuckled. "After my father died, I was living in a flophouse on River Street. When you wanted a date down there, you just went up to one of the ladies on the corner and asked how much? That is with every girl but Meredith, she would grab my paw and ask me how much I had while pulling me towards the motel room."

"You and Meredith always had a strange relationship."

"There is more to her than being a prostitute, we also just talk a lot and she still is a good friend."

"During times like this, I still wonder why Marie married you?"

"Because she loves me!" Jake answered with a smile.

"No, it's because I kept hustling her into taking you back," Nick laughed as he ruffled the fur between the raccoon's ears. "I should get a degree as a love doctor for all the times I helped you two patch things up."

"I still think she is too good for me," Jake muttered softly. "I'm just a street coon who grew up on the wrong side of town, I was a thief and I went to jail. She is a county angel, so pretty and smart. Her voice has that sexy Southern accent which makes my knees still go wobbly sometimes when she calls me her Sugar."

"That's called love," the fox chuckled and then he gave the raccoon a smirk. "Since she calls you Sugar now and you're about to become a father, does that make you a Sugar Daddy?"

"Ha…ha…not funny fox!" Jake snickered. "Okay, in a very warped Nick Wilde kind of way, that was funny!"

"You feel better now Jake?"

"Yeah, I do. Thanks, Nick!"

The two friends just stood there and continued to watch the ducks lazily cruising on the lake, until the fox looked over at the raccoon and said with a predatory grin, "Watching those ducks is making me hungry, is that place with the yummy roasted and pulled duck breast meat tacos still open down the road?"


	60. Labor Pains

**Chapter 60: Labor Pains**

* * *

 **Sometimes Jake is an idiot! He should be paying more attention to his pregnant wife and not playing games with his best friend.**

* * *

Plink! Whack! Pong! Whack! SNARL!

"Gods, Judy they are at it again!" a very pregnant raccoon huffed out as she tried to get more comfortable in the wooden chair. The miserable-looking raccoon and her rabbit doe friend were sitting at a table filled with the remains of dinner. The sports bar around them was full of animals who were chattering and laughing, while they drank and ate. There were the sounds of pinball machines, vintage video games, the clink of pool balls hitting each other, and the sounds of a small plastic ball bouncing on a hard green wooden board. Momentarily the raccoon glanced towards a window and gave a slight smile as she watched the evening snow come down. Tundratown at night was rather scenic in its perpetual blanket of white glistening snow, scenic but cold. "I knew we shouldn't have let those two loose inside of this bar."

"You know how completive those two can get?" the smiling rabbit said as she watched the slim male raccoon in blue sport shirt frantically trying to hit the oncoming white ping pong ball with his paddle. The raccoon gave a frustrated growl when he missed. "Well, I'm running to the restroom, are you going to be alright or do you need to come with me?"

"I just got back from there. Ever since I got knocked up, all I do is eat and pee!" the raccoon named Marie chuckled. Then she noticed an uneaten pickle on one of the plates and with a sigh, began munching on it. The rabbit grinned when she saw the raccoon eating again, but didn't say a word before she left the table and weaved her way through the crowd.

"My point!" the lanky red fox in a green sweater laughed as he jubilantly and victoriously pumped his paw in the air. "What's the matter, Jake? Are you getting slow in your old age?" A tall white polar bear in a black suit, who had been watching the two friends, just rolled his eyes at the fox's antics.

"Old age?" Jake play growled back to his friend while he picked up the ball. "Wilde, you are almost old enough to be my father."

"Coon, I'm only a few years older than you!" the fox scoffed.

"You are eight years older," the bear added with a shake of his head.

"Stay out of this Kevin!" Nick said before he looked over and gave the raccoon one of his trademarked infamous smirks. "Coon, I'm not old enough to be your father, just your better looking and more handsome brother!"

"Well my friend, you should know that I have been holding back," Jake teased as he bounced the ball on the table. "I've only been letting you win so that you would become overconfident and now prepare to lose!"

"Oh great, now we've got trash talk coming from a raccoon!" Kevin sighed as he sipped his mug of beer.

"Ha…ha…not funny bear!" the raccoon snapped.

"Jake…" the female raccoon called out. But her husband was still verbally sparring with his best friend and not paying her any attention.

"Once I teach you how to really play ping pong, I'm going to drub you playing pool!" the raccoon boasted as he pointed his paddle at Nick.

"You're all talk and no action!" Nick laughed as he picked up and sipped from his own beer.

"Oh my!" Marie softly exclaimed in embarrassment. She felt another contraction and then something wet trickling down her legs. "Jake…Jake, my water broke!" she called out.

The male raccoon still didn't hear her over the other noise in the bar.

"Come on Coon!" Nick growled. "Less talk and more action, so serve that damned ball."

"Oh, it's on now fox!" Jake snapped back, with a grin. He lifted his paddle to prepare to serve. "I'm going to wipe the floor with your tail."

"Jake!" Marie frantically called again, before she grasped her stomach and moaned.

An older tiger looked over and saw the smaller female was in distress. "Oh honey, you've gone into labor!" she exclaimed as she quickly came over and took the raccoon's paw. "You need to get to the hospital, is there someone here with you?"

"My husband Jake, but he can't hear me over all this noise," Marie answered.

"HEY, JAKE!" the tigress loudly roared. The whole bar went quiet as everyone looked her way in surprise. "YOUR WIFE IS IN LABOR!"

With his ear's flat on top of his head and his tail bristling behind him, Jake jumped a foot off the ground in shock when he heard the tiger's yell. The male raccoon dropped his paddle and almost tripped over his own feet as he stumbled through the crowd towards her. "Marie!" he desperately called out in a panic tone when he reached her. "Do we need to call an ambulance?"

Nick was right next to him and gave the raccoon a strange look. "Jake, the hospital is just one block away!"

"Oh yeah!" the frantic raccoon muttered as he gripped his wife's paw. "Can you walk that far?"

"I…" she began to reply, but a pair of large white paws scooped her up.

Kevin looked over his shoulder at the fox and raccoon as he carried Marie towards the door, "Are you two coming?"

The fox and raccoon quickly grabbed their coats and ran out of the bar after the huge bear.

A few moments later Judy returned and looked around in confusion. "Your friend went into labor," a server said as she stood there with a mop staring in disgust at the puddle under the chair. "Those guys you were with panicked and they ran down the road towards the hospital with her in their arms. But here, they left you this and I'm expecting a big tip for having to clean up this mess."

Judy's ears drooped when she was handed the bill for the food and drinks. "But Nick has my wallet!" she exclaimed as she held the white cash register slip in her paws.


	61. Things Farmers Do

**Chapter 61: Things Farmers Do**

* * *

 **Jake is at his office and has a conversation with Nick, while the raccoon is looking for something he had made for Judy.**

* * *

"Jake, I thought you would want to be home with Marie and the babies?" Nick asked as he took a seat in his best friend's office. The chair was oversized for the fox and it had a dark and light blue plaid pattern fabric covering it. The stout oak desk, which was next to where the raccoon was standing, was devoid of everything but the cardboard box that he was digging into and his office phone. "They just came home from the hospital only a couple of days ago."

"He's trying to avoid changing diapers," Jimmy Ratzolli called out from the office next door, Nick had to smile at Jake's partner's comments. If anyone knew how to change diapers it was that rat for he had raised at least three dozen of his own children, that is when he wasn't in jail.

"I'm working!" the raccoon snapped back at the fox. "You did see my name on the front door when you came in, right? I am the Runnel, as in Runnel Security and so I have responsibilities!"

"Sure coon, only if you call drinking and dining with the city's rich and elite as being work!" Nick snickered as he gave his friend one of his infamous smirks.

"You've got to mingle if you want new business in this field. Reputation can't do everything, after all, no one has ever robbed one of our clients!" Jake replied.

"Ah, Le Rouge did," Nick reminded the raccoon.

"That doesn't count," Jake growled. "But I've been told that he won't try again."

"That's because he's in jail…wait, Jake what did you do?" Nick asked as he sat up in his chair and looked at the raccoon who was still digging in the box. He had pulled out a number of various odd parts and a few circuit boards.

"I didn't do anything and I had nothing to do with it," Jake answered with a shrug of his shoulders. "It just seems that he was boasting about his little indiscretion in jail too much and it didn't sit well with some of my friends. They took it on their own initiative to shut him up." The raccoon looked over at the fox and held his paw up. "Oh, he'll be fine in a few weeks. It's just for now he will be sipping his meals through a straw."

"You sure know a rough crowd, don't you?"

"Yeah, especially if you consider some of them are cops," the raccoon snickered. Then he found what he was looking for and grinned as he held it up in triumph.

"Is that a model of one of Stu's pick-up trucks? Nick asked in surprise.

"It's a scale model of the same truck Judy drove to the Big-Z that day you two cracked the Night Howlers case and arrested Bellwether, I had it made for her birthday." The truck looked like a miniature version of the beat-up old truck Judy had driven to town.

"Why?"

"One of our suppliers was boasting about his new 3-D printer and so I challenged him to make this model. Look, it even has the baling wire that Stu used to keep the license plate on the bumper!"

"Yeah, only a farmer would think of doing that," Nick chuckled. "You know that Stu amazes me sometimes, he can quote to you from memory the fertilizer rates, the quantity of seeds, along with the expected yield for each acre on the farm and yet he still forgets his and Bonnie's anniversary date."

"Huh? Well, he has a lot of farmland to keep up with."

"Last time I was in the truck with him, we had to stop several times and pick up all the stuff that flew out of the open windows for the air conditioning was broken and he never got it fixed. He's more concerned that the A/C works in the tractor and combine, but not so much in any of the trucks or cars he owns."

"The rabbit has his priorities," Jake grunted as he put the model truck down and then looked around the room in confusion.

"One of the scariest things about the Hopps family, besides being the only fox in their warren, is how a room full of talkative rabbits can go suddenly silent when the weather report comes on the news and then go back to being noisy when it's over."

"Weather is important…" the raccoon absentmindedly answered as he frowned at this desk.

"What's wrong?" Nick asked.

Jake held his paw up as he walked towards the open door. "Hey Karen!" he yelled towards the mouse sitting at her desk in front of Ratzolli's office.

"Jake, we do have an intercom," the petite secretary called back. "It's that button on your phone."

"Whatever," the raccoon scoffed. "Do you know where my laptop is at?"

"It is right where you left it two weeks ago, over in the lab," she answered.

"I thought your laptop was at your house?" Nick asked.

"That's my home computer," Jake answered. "My other one doesn't leave the building."

"That's why we put a tracker on it coon!" Ratzolli called out. "So you don't lose it or break it like you do all those phones that you go through."

"Thanks, Karen!" Jake called out, ignoring the rat's verbal jab.

The intercom buzzed on his desk phone, Nick reached over and pressed the button. "You're welcome boss," the mouse's voice came from the speaker.

"Oh look, it works!" the fox laughed.

The raccoon frowned at him, before he said, "Okay Nick, you can go back to complaining about your father-in-law."

"I wasn't complaining!" the fox protested. "I was…oh never mind!"

"Look, I fully understand what you are going through," Jake laughed. "I once had a two-minute conversation with Marie's dad before I realized that I was talking about a building's elevator and he was referring to a grain elevator."

"You're such a city coon!"

"Hey, you grew up three blocks from where I did!"

"It's odd we both married farmer's daughters?"

"Yeah and I better get home before mine puts me out to pasture," Jake laughed.

* * *

 **This story was inspired by an article written years ago by Doug Mayo, the Jackson** **County Extension Director.**


	62. Even Fathers have Birthing Pains

**Chapter 62: Even Fathers have Birthing Pains**

* * *

 **Did I mention that Jake can be an idiot?**

* * *

BANG! The old van backfired yet again as it rumbled down the city street. Behind the van's steering wheel and barely able to see over the dashboard, was its owner a tan furred fennec fox in a dark blue bowling shirt.

"Crap Finn, do you ever clean up back here?" the dark gray and light gray furred raccoon in a purple short-sleeved sports shirt complained to the driver as he gave a disgusted look at the trash lying around his seat in the back of the van.

"Quit whining Jake, I thought you coons liked trash?" a red fox in the front passenger seat scoffed as he propped his foot paws up on the dashboard while he adjusted his red and blue tie. He pushed his tie under the ratty old seatbelt and against the tacky green tropical shirt he wore.

"Nick, I called shotgun first," the raccoon named Jake huffed as he kicked an empty beer can away from his feet. "You still took it anyways."

"Sidekicks don't get to ride in front," Nick laughed as he looked back and gave the raccoon a smirk.

"Sidekicks!" the raccoon growled. "So, we're back to that conversation again?"

"Don't pay him any attention, Runnel," the fennec fox laughed. "Nick is still overcompensating for all of those years when everyone called him my sidekick."

"I wasn't the one who wore the elephant pajamas!" the red fox snickered before he let loose a yip when the smaller fox punched him in the arm.

"Get your feet off the dashboard, Red!" Finn snarled in amusement. "How many times do I have to tell you that? You're acting like you're a teen again, so behave. You're bad enough as an adult, but you were insufferable as a teenager."

"How someone so small, can hit so hard is still a mystery to me?" Nick grumbled as he rubbed his arm while he removed his feet from the dash and put them back on the van's floor.

They had stopped at a red light and the van shook as it idled. When the traffic light turned green and just after the fennec fox stepped on the gas, the van backfired yet again. There was a large cloud of smoke that belched behind them. "It's that damned carburetor," Finn cursed.

"Why don't you retire this old dinosaur and buy a new one?" Jake called out from the back. "It seems to be on its last legs, I hope we make it to this bar you wanted to go to?"

"All those new vans have that fancy direct-injection shit run by computers and you can't work on them unless you shell out too much cash!" the fennec fox sighed. "Besides, I ain't rich like you!"

"Yeah Stu was bitching about the new tractors," Nick added as he looked out the window. "He says the farmers have to call a company tech to the farm to fix anything that goes wrong with the new stuff, something about proprietary software, and it's expensive."

"That's just silly because when you buy a new car it can be repaired anywhere," Jake grunted. "Shouldn't you be able to do the same with tractors?"

"Ya'd think so?" Finn added. "But the rich companies are always gonna win."

"I guess so," the raccoon muttered. "As they say, you can't fight city hall."

"Unless you're Hopps!" Finn laughed. "She locked up two mayors already."

"Hey, I helped!" Nick protested.

"No, you were there!" the small fox added with a grin. "Probably getting in the way too!"

"I did my fair share!" Nick grumbled.

"Yeah, I heard about doing your fair share at work from Wolford yesterday," Jake spoke up. "He said that you two had pulled over a sexy looking vixen in a sports car for speeding. When you walked up the window and was going to write her a ticket, she batted her eyes at you before she asked if you were going to sell her a ticket to the Police Officer's Ball?"

"Shut up Runnel," Nick snapped with a frown.

"But you told her, no, we police don't have balls!" Jake gaffed out. "She and Wolford were laughing so hard at the look you gave her when you realized what you had said. He said that you were so embarrassed that you forgot to write the ticket!"

The fennec fox roared with laughter. Nick just gave a small smile and shook his head.

"So ya never said why you ain't home with the little wife and the kiddos?" Finn yelled back to the raccoon. "You already being a deadbeat dad or sumtin?"

"Not so funny, Finn!" Jake sullenly snapped back.

"Marie tossed him out," Nick answered his small friend's question as he gave the raccoon a grin. "He was in her way."

"I'm the one who got shot with the Night Howlers, but she's the one acting all feral!" Jake complained. "She says I'm never there when she needs me and then when I am, she says I'm always in the way. I just can't win!"

The fennec fox just grinned when he glanced towards the red fox, neither said a word as the raccoon continued to vent, "Then there are the boys, all they do is sleep, chitter and cry for her to feed them, and then poop! Never at the same time too! When they finally open those little eyes, I swear I'm going to hire an army of nurses, just to change their diapers. More comes out of those little rears than go in the other end."

"All you new fathers are the same!" Finn snickered. "Morons!"

The raccoon threw him a look that could have curdled milk. "What the hell do you two know about it?" Jake snarled in agitation, he was aware that he was getting too worked up over nothing and that the savage side of him was slipping out, a drawback of the Night Howlers and the cure. "You two will never have kits!" Jake snapped and then immediately regretted what he said when he saw the fleeting look of sorrow on Nick's face. He wanted to apologize for his remarks because he knew his best friend, being a fox married to a rabbit, could never have children of his own. "Nick…"

The red fox just smiled and waved him off.

"At least I have no kits that I know of," Finn snickered as he looked first at Nick and then up into the rearview mirror so he could see Jake. He decided to change the subject. "So how'd things go at the hospital? Were you one of those poor saps who was dragged by the wife into the delivery room?"

"Of course I was!" Jake answered. "I went with Marie to all those birthing classes, doctor's appointments, and even to her prenatal yoga classes."

"Well, was it worth it?" the fennec fox continued. "I mean, witnessing the miracle of birth?"

"It was sorta fine," the raccoon said as he looked out of the window.

"What do you mean by sorta fine?" Finn asked out of curiosity.

"When Marie started into labor, Kevin carried her to the hospital, which was just down the street from the bar we were at," Jake replied. "Then the labor pains slowed again as soon as we got her checked in and into the room. By then Nick had to go back to get Judy…"

"Wait, where was Judy?" Finn asked.

"When we panicked and ran off with Marie, we forgot Carrots back at the bar and she got stuck with the dinner bill," Nick chuckled. "I had her wallet, so I had to back and pay the bill before she could leave."

"Un-huh," the little fox snickered as he shook his head in disbelief.

"Anyways, I swear that half of the hospital came to see Marie," Jake continued. "I just stood there and held her paw, acting like an idiot as I did that huffing and puffing breathing they taught us in class. Then she screamed in pain as she crushed my paw and I could see little Nicky's head coming out…" The raccoon went quiet.

"And?" Finn asked.

"The coon passed out in a dead faint," Nick finally answered. "The nurses had to step over and around him until an orderly bodily bundled him over his shoulder and dumped him in the waiting room next to me and Judy."

The small fox roared again with laughter.


	63. A Fat Fox?

**Chapter 63: A Fat Fox?**

* * *

 **What is it about Judy and ketchup?**

* * *

The food trucks were parked along the street's curb by the seaside park and there were lines of animals queued up in front of them, all waiting to order their favorite foods. Nearby, a raccoon in a blue suit and a fox in a dark blue police uniform were sitting at one of the many picnic tables. Behind them, the ocean surf's rhythmic sound was soothing to their ears and the sun shone warmly down upon them from a cloudless blue sky above. There were the peals of laughter from the many animals playing on the beach and surfers rode the waves offshore. It was a pleasant, almost idyllic, place to enjoy their lunch.

"So my client is a multi-million dollar tech firm and what do they use as their passcode to enter the building?" the raccoon named Jake Runnel was telling his best friend Nick Wilde. "The last four numbers of their zip code! The owner just stared at me in disbelief when I walked up and set the alarm on my second try." The fox named Nick Wilde just smiled and shook his head.

"Oh no, you don't!" Jake snapped at the fox as Nick attempted to snatch yet another one of his fries from his food container. "You could have ordered your own!"

"I'm trying to be good, Carrots said I've put on a few pounds recently," Nick grumbled as he shoved his fork around his own tray. The fox was staring with a lack of enthusiasm at the salad in front of him with his ears flat and tail curled near his foot paws.

"Hanging around the front desk with Clawhauser has its drawbacks. How many donuts did you eat this morning?"

"Shut up coon!"

"That wasn't an answer," the raccoon snickered as he slowly bit into a fry. He purposely over-exaggerated his bite and chewed slowly as he grinned at the fox.

"You're evil, Ringtail!" Nick huffed out. "Being my best friend, I would think that you'd be more supportive during this hour of my great distress!"

"That was very dramatic! All of this fuss over a little diet? Frankly, you've gained a little weight but not that much."

"Judy said that I'm getting a little belly," the fox put his paw down over his stomach.

"It's probably all that beer you drink with Finn. How that little guy can drink so much and not gain weight is a mystery to me?"

"He pees a lot!"

"So how long have you been on this diet?" Jake mumbled out as he chewed a muzzle full of his worm burger. "It couldn't have been too long, you were just over at our place playing with Nicky and Freddie. I think you ate half the pizza we ordered."

"Since this morning," Nick admitted before he speared a chunk of lettuce and held it up on his fork. "It's been a really long morning."

"Oh come on fox, you're acting like you've been suffering for weeks! If you had told me, I would have ordered a salad too."

"Why have my friends suffer for my sins?" Nick sighed as he munched on a carrot. His other paw was tapping the table as he watched Judy return from one of the food trucks and then sit down next to him.

The rabbit leaned back from the table as she cautiously watched the raccoon tear at a packet of ketchup and then as he carefully poured it over his fries. "What?" Jake finally asked as he looked over at her.

"You don't have a very good history of handling ketchup around me," Judy reminded him. "I don't want to get my uniform stained again because of your carelessness."

"Hey, those were all Nick's fault and not mine!" the raccoon objected.

While they were talking Nick slowly reached over and tried to steal another fry from Jake's plate, the raccoon saw the movement from the corner of his eye and slapped the fox's paw. His blow caused Nick to lose the ketchup covered fry and it soared high into the air above their heads. As if by slow motion, the three friends watched in horror as it seemingly slowly began to descend straight down towards the rabbit's startled eyes. Suddenly a flurry of gray and white feathers appeared above them as a seagull swooped down and snatched the ketchup covered morsel with its claws before it triumphantly soared away with its prize.

"That was a close one!" Jake exclaimed as he looked both relieved and somewhat in shock at Nick and Judy. Then they heard the cries in the air above them, for the success of one of their flock had emboldened a dozen or more gulls and they fluttered towards the raccoon's basket containing his burger and remaining fries.

"Oh snap!" Nick yelled before he dove under the picnic table, only to be quickly joined by Judy and Jake. The table above them was engulfed in a swirling mass of feathers. After a few moments, the aerial bandits finally fled with the remnants of Jake's meal.

Nick stood up and cocked his head in surprise while he looked down at the remains of their lunches, which were strewn across the table. "Well, it seems that they don't care that much for salads either?" he muttered.


	64. Sorry Honey (Fat Fox? II)

**Chapter 64: Sorry Honey (Fat Fox? II)**

* * *

 **Nick's diet continues and Jake does not seem to be providing much moral support.**

* * *

Nick sighed as he watched the raccoon, who was sitting across the table, was slowly letting a spoonful of honey drip slowly…ever so slowly…down upon his stack of flapjacks. The sweet gooey yellow strand of goodness finally just reached its intended target before the fox grumbled out, "Coon, are you doing that to just drive me crazy?"

"Doing what?" the raccoon named Jake replied in a generally perplexed manner. "I'm just watching the honey drip, it's kind of fascinating. I saw a documentary about it last night while trying to rock little Nicky back to sleep." The two friends had been working out in the gymnasium at the hotel where Jake lived and they were in the raccoon's penthouse suite having breakfast. The raccoon was dressed only in his exercise shorts and his closely cropped gray fur showed the former burglar's lithe muscular body. Unlike the red fox, he was not on a diet.

"Such exciting times at the Runnel residence," Nick sarcastically scoffed. "I'm surprised the hotel didn't call us cops on you for all the noise you two were making?" He gave his best friend on of his infamous smirks.

After trying to smirk back at the fox, the raccoon continued. "Look, Nicky wasn't going to go back to sleep. He was being very obstinate just like his namesake and godfather."

"Oh, so it's now my fault?" the fox laughed. "The little guy didn't want to miss anything exciting, like a documentary on honey."

"It was three in the morning and he's now six months old, what exciting can things really can be happing at his age? Trust me when I tell you that since the two boys were born I've had no excitement at that time of night or at any time."

"TMI, coon. TMI! I was tucked away in bed at that time of night, while poor Carrots was having all the excitement."

"I take it you were referring to something different then I was?"

"Of course I was, you pervert!" Nick laughed "She was with SWAT and they were busting a gang of rabbits."

"For what, illegal carrot smuggling?"

"They were smuggling a shipment of Midnicampum holicithias."

"They had Night Howlers? What did they want them for?" Jake snapped out. His strange light yellow pupilled eyes flashed with anger. "The yotes gave the city the natural cure for anyone who got affected by their pollen or Doug Ramsey's chemical concoction, so they are useless as a weapon."

"It seems that they are putting small amounts of the powder, along with cocaine, into a street drug called Blue Haze. Not enough to make someone go completely savage as it did you, but enough to go slightly feral. It turns out this becoming the drug of choice at underground raves. They claim it lets down all civilized inhibitions."

"Has anyone been hurt?"

"Not too bad, but there have been a few OD's."

"Where are they smuggling them in from, it can't be the Green Mountains? Mister Walker and his pack watch over those flowers like hawks. You know how coyotes can get about things like that."

"Bunnyburrow," Nick sighed. "That's why they wanted Carrots there when they did the bust, she knows most of the perps."

"Any of her family involved?"

"A couple of her distant cousins, but no one directly related."

"Damn, that had to tear her up a bit."

"Let's just say I don't want to be any of them this morning, I'd rather face Bogo than my honey bunny when she gets worked up."

"Ah yes, honey!" Jake chuckled. "Did you know that on average, a honey bee produces one-twelfth of a teaspoon of honey over the course of its life? Also, an average beehive can produce up to one hundred pounds of honey a year! To produce a single pound of honey, a colony of bees must collect nectar from approximately two million flowers and fly over fifty-five thousand miles. This amounts to a lifetime's worth of work for around eight hundred bees…"

Nick reached over and snatched the spoonful of honey from the raccoon's paw and smeared it over his hotcakes. "There, now just shut up about the honey facts!" the fox scoffed. "Just eat your pancakes before I do!"

"Grumpy fox!" Nick snickered as he reached for his fork. "You know that honey is a better sweetener than sugar and high-fructose corn syrup, it's definitely better than that blueberry syrup you put in your coffee.

"I like my blueberry sweeter," Nick softly growled. He looked down at his plate with its single egg, tomato slices, and dry toast with disgust.

"What's the matter?" Jake mumbled out through a mouth full of pancakes.

"This diet is going to kill me and it doesn't help that I have to watch you chow down on those delicious looking fluffy pancakes."

"They are good too!"

"Shut up coon, I thought you were going to support me with this?

"I am," Jake protested as he swallowed his mouth full of honey-covered pancakes and washed it down with a sip of coffee. "Look...see...I didn't put butter on my cakes, that makes them healthier."


	65. A Skinny Fox?

**Chapter 65: A Skinny Fox?**

* * *

 **Jake works out and Nick finally realizes what is going on.**

* * *

The raccoon was huffing and puffing when he leapt from the balance beam and landed with a staggering thump upon the padded gymnastic mat.

"Again!" a stern voice commanded as the aged black bear slapped her paws together in apparent agitation at her student's performance.

Nick wanted to laugh when the she-bear launched into a string of very animatedly expressive words in her native tongue about how slowly his best friend Jake was moving before he got back onto the beam. The raccoon had hesitated while he yanked off his tee-shirt and threw it towards the grinning fox, then with a grunt, he pulled himself back onto the beam.

"NOW!" the bear named Natasha growled as she shook her silver-tipped cane at her student.

"It's hard to believe that he pays to be so abused!" an opossum lifting paw weights chuckled from across the room. Nick knew the possum was named Benny and was a trust-fund brat who never really worked a day in his life, but instead, he spent too much time at the gym while looking to pick up unsuspecting female patrons. Jake always called him an eternal frat boy who lived on his granddaddy's money, addicted to fast cars and fast chicks. "I am starting to think that Runnel is a bit of a masochist. Twice a week, they go through this routine for two hours, but at least he hasn't fallen on his noggin again!"

Nick just nodded as he looked back at the raccoon on the balance beam. Jake had that lean muscular physique that gymnasts have, but he never was a real athlete. No, he was a former burglar, a retired thief who had amazing talent which he had once applied in a rather lackluster manner. Although Jake had "gone straight" and was now the principal owner of a security firm, he was still a suspect in several unsolved burglaries that had been committed before he went to jail. Nick also knew there was a string of others, which due to the questionable legality of ownership of the items stolen from the victims, were never reported to the police.

"You know he's gotten better ever since he was shot with that Night Howler junk," Benny continued. "It's just too bad he got those creepy eyes, I mean a raccoon with pale yellow pupils is damn weird. Maybe he should get some of those colored contact lenses?"

Jake was now pushing himself off the beam using only his arms, his legs and tail were thrust into the air straight above him. The raccoon was surprisingly strong for someone his size.

"Yep, he's gotten better," the possum commented. "He couldn't have done that before." There was a sudden thump and a curse, Nick quickly looked back to see the raccoon was now sprawled flat on the mat. "Well, he still can't do that too long," Benny laughed.

The she-bear stood over the prostrate raccoon and peered down at him. "Lazy!" she softly said now in a fond manner. "But you are old, too old and fat for Natasha to make a world-renowned gymnast out of your lazy bones."

"Hey, I'm not even thirty!" Jake objected as he sat up. "I'm not that old!"

"Too old and too lazy," the retired world-renowned gymnastics coach teased. "That is all for today. Now go home to your children before you hurt yourself."

"Yeah…yeah…yeah," the raccoon sighed as he stood up.

"Next time you bring the babies for Natasha to cuddle and not that skinny fox!" the bear chuckled as she pointed her cane at Nick.

"He thinks he's gotten big and fat," Jake snickered.

"I'm not that fat!" the fox objected and then he saw the grin that the raccoon was giving him.

"You are too skinny!" the black bear snorted. "You need to eat more meat! Who says you are fat?"

"My wife…" Nick began to reply and then he saw Jake had started laughing hard with his paws over his muzzle. "Wait! What have you and Carrots been up to?"

"Well, you started it!" Jake chuckled. "You've been teasing Judy for weeks now that she is getting slow and so we figured that as vain as you can be about your looks, we'd tell you that you were getting fat."

"You mean that I've been eating all that salad for nothing?" Nick growled. "I've eaten so much lettuce that I swear my fur is turning green!"

"Kvass, da! You need to drink healthy kvass and eat more cod with potatoes!" Natasha chimed in. "You are way too skinny."

"I'm going to kill you Runnel!" Nick snapped out as he chased the raccoon towards the locker room. "You owe me lunch…some real food with fries…yeah, lots and lots of greasy salty fries!"

"By the way those two are acting, you'd swear they were brothers!" Benny said as he shook his head.

The large she-bear only laughed while she leaned upon her cane.

* * *

 **Benny and Natasha have known Jake long before he was shot with the Night Howlers, they are mentioned in** _ **Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption, Chapter 28: Pillow Talk.**_


	66. Lunch with Friends

**Chapter 66: Lunch with Friends**

* * *

 **This chapter is dedicated to retired** **RCMP officer James Blackwood who has been caring for a family of raccoons and other wildlife on his Nova Scotia property for many, many years. He had one raccoon named Rascal who is documented as having lived at least thirteen years, a tremendously long time for a coon! You can find him on YouTube, where he is known as the Raccoon Whisper.**

 **This takes place after Marie is attacked at the Coyote Cultural Center in Happy Town, the boys are now almost a year old.**

 *****EVERYONE STAY HEALTHY & WASH THOSE PAWS!*****

* * *

The raccoon in the dark gray suit stood up and waved to the two police officers as they entered the restaurant. It was a nice sized establishment, a sports bar that was not too far from Tundratown's main ice rink. The dark blue walls were decorated with all kinds of sports paraphilia, mostly hockey sticks, worn skates, and jerseys from the city's favorite professional team, the Tundratown Penguins.

The raccoon name Jake Runnel sat back down as he watched the two officers, a wolf named Alan Wolford and a fox named Nick Wilde, while they hang up their heavy police issued parkas. The wolf rubbed his paws together in an attempt to warm them as he approached the table, but he hesitated and tilted his head when he got a closer view of the raccoon. "Runnel, what the hell happened to your right eye?" he asked in a curious tone.

Before Jake could answer, Nick replied instead with a chuckle, "His father-in-law gave him a black-eye."

"How can you tell? I mean, with that black-furred mask?" The wolf made a mask shape with his paws.

Reaching up with his paw, Jake tenderly felt his swollen eye. "This isn't funny guys," he huffed out. "It still hurts a little."

Pulling out a chair next to the raccoon, the fox plopped himself down and ruffled the fur between his best friend's ears. "Poor baby, you shouldn't get in fights with farmers," he said while he gave one of his infamous smirks.

"You know it wasn't a fight!" Jake protested. "I had just gotten off the train and buckled the two boys into their stroller when he belted me a good one."

"Why did he do that?" Wolford asked as he sat down across the table. "What did you do?"

"It's more about what he didn't do," Nick once again answered before the raccoon could. "He had promised his father-in-law Fred that he would keep Marie safe and he didn't, you know she was attacked."

"Sarah Winstead!" the wolf said the name almost as if it was a curse. "That she-skunk was a crazy killer! She not only murdered a cop, but also an elderly couple and a whole family just to get at you and your family."

"She would have killed Marie and the boys too, if it hadn't been for Karen Southpaw," Jake sighed out as he gave a slight shutter. "Winstead may have been trained in knife fighting by her boyfriend Le Pew, but Karen was born to the blade, as they say on the streets of Happy Town. She learned to use the knife growing up in a gang and the vixen was a better fighter."

"That lunatic went after your wife because you killed her lover," Wolford added.

"I didn't kill him!" Jake objected. "Savage did!"

"Oh yes, that mysterious super-secret agent you keep talking about!" the wolf snickered. "A guy no one can find."

"Well, she's dead now," Nick quickly interjected, trying to change the subject because he suspected that the mastermind for most of Jake's problems was Fru Fru's no-good husband Anton and he had been found mysteriously drowned in Icy Lake not long after the attack. An intra-gang war within the Northern Mob had been averted and Fru Fru was now a not so grieving widow. Of course, none of this was known by Wolford or any other police officers who thought the overly ambitious shrew's death was accidental. "So why did you want to eat lunch here?"

"Remember how I've always wanted to go to Toronto for vacation and still haven't made it yet?" the raccoon began to answer.

The wolf looked confused, so Nick quickly interrupted. "It's a city up north where raccoons just about run everything." The wolf nodded as he looked back towards the raccoon across the table.

"Anyways, I've always used to tell Marie there is no reason to leave Zootopia when the whole world comes here. Well, I found that this place serves one of their traditional national dishes," Jake excitedly continued. "It's called Poutine."

"What is that?" it was the red fox who asked the question this time. He sighed as he sipped his water while he enviously watched the raccoon sipping a beer. Cops were not allowed to drink while on the job and it was a very strict rule. Since Jake was self-employed, he set his own rules.

"I guess you could call it a type of Northwoods nachos?" the raccoon answered with a grin. "It's sort of like that…just wait and you'll see what I mean when it arrives." He waved at another raccoon in a chef's cap, who nodded back before he went into the kitchen.

A few moments later a large waiter arrived at the table with a big tray of food which the moose gently set down in the center of the table.

The three friends stared at the culinary concoction, it was made up of a layer of fries upon which fresh cheese curds had been liberally sprinkled and then everything was smothered in goose gravy.

"You've got to be kidding?" Nick said as the fox poked the dish with his fork.

It was delicious

"Next time I think we should try a dish which the chef tells me is from the famous Blackwood Café on an island called Nova Scotia, the dish is Pictou County Pizza and it is made with something called brown sauce!" Jake contently burped out.

* * *

 **For Marie's brush with death and how she was saved by a vixen named Karen Southpaw, see Chapter 41 of Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption. Karen is the mother of Chery, a baby coyfox who will become little Freddie's best friend and soulmate.**

 **Fru Fru's husband Anton was indeed the whole driving force behind much of Jake's woes, except for the mad priest. Mister Big's son-in-law was attempting to wrestle control of the Northern Mob.**

 **I understand that traditional** **Poutine is made with beef gravy, which would be impossible in Zootopia. Have I ever tried the dish? NO, but I did try cheese curds when I was in Door County, Wisconsin. They are best when fresh and are squeaky to the bite…Yum! Sometimes I think I live in the wrong state until I see pictures of all the cold and snow…Yuck!**


	67. The Safe that Jake couldn't Crack

**Chapter 67: The Safe that Jake couldn't Crack**

* * *

 **Jake is called upon to open some abandoned safes, but one proves more than his talented paws can handle.**

 ** *****EVERYONE STAY HEALTHY & WASH THOSE PAWS*******

* * *

Of all the city's uniquely different districts, the two that the raccoon named Jake Runnel least enjoyed visiting were Tundratown, with its chilling temperatures and snow, and the Rainforest District, because it is wet. He stood there in the Rainforest all alone in the pouring rain with only his umbrella offering him some protection, but his tail was still soaked wet by the sprinklers above. In front of him was a vine-covered warehouse, a tin sided building that had been quarantined off with bright yellow plastic police tape. The raccoon was in a bad mood as he stood there clutching his umbrella and a large black canvas satchel.

There was the sound of crunching gravel behind him and turned to see a familiar red fox in a police uniform behind the wheel of a black and white police cruiser as it drove towards him. Next to the fox was a tiger in a blue suit sitting in the passenger seat.

"I'm wet!" the raccoon complained when the fox named Nick Wilde rolled down the car's window.

"Quit whining and get in the car," Nick scoffed back. "It will be worth your time."

With a grunt, Jake tossed his black bag into the back of the cruiser and claimed inside, frowning as he looked around.

"What's the matter, Runnel?" the tiger asked with a snicker. "Are you not used to being back there without cuffs on?"

"Not funny, Detective Fangmeyer!" the raccoon snapped back. "Besides, you have never owned a pair of pawcuffs that I couldn't pick. So what am I doing here of all the damned places?"

Before Nick could answer, Fangmeyer suddenly asked, "Geeze Runnel, your right eye is swollen are you okay?"

"Jake got a black eye," Nick answered for the raccoon. "His father-in-law punched him for letting Marie get cut up by that crazy skunk."

"How can you tell if a raccoon has a black eye?" the tiger asked. "I mean, how can you tell with that black fur mask?"

"He forcefully reminded me that I had promised to keep Marie and the boys safe, but then that nut job Sarah Winstead broke out of the psycho ward at the jail and made a beeline for my family. She almost got them too." Jake answered.

"Marie's dad may have a point, just how many times has someone tried to kill you since we first met?" the tiger asked.

"Not that many!" Jake protested.

"There was that nutty priest who tried to sacrifice you to his snake god," Fangmeyer called out. "Then there was LePew, which makes two."

"Don't forget about the gangster Scarface Scareese, that tiger wanted to gut Jake with his claws!" Nick added. "Then there was whoever set both of us for crimes we didn't commit and had us dumped into the state penitentiary in the middle of the night where a gang of warthogs was waiting."

"Then you got shot with the Night Howlers," the tiger continued. "That makes five attempts in how many years?"

"The Night Howlers doesn't count," Nick chuckled. "Whoever did that wanted Jake to become savage, but not dead."

"Still four times, hell I've been a cop for twelve years and no one has tried to off me!" Fangmeyer said as he turned and looked back at the raccoon. "If I was your father-in-law, I'd have done more than just punched you in the eye, I'd have beaten the crap out of you and then locked my daughter and grandkittens away where you couldn't get near them!"

"That crazy priest did try to blow you and Wolford up in your cruiser," Nick reminded the tiger. "So that counts for once."

"Still, it has been four times!" Fangmeyer exclaimed.

"You two haven't answered my question," Jake sullenly stated as he tried to change the subject. "Why am I here?"

"Have you ever heard of that union boss Jimmy Hoofa?" Nick asked as he put the car in drive again.

"He disappeared sometime long before any of us was born," the raccoon answered. "Did you find him?"

"Bogo thinks so," Nick replied.

"Everyone knows he's under the concrete at that stadium up in New Gnu!" Jake scoffed.

"That's what I said!" Fangmeyer added.

"No, they scanned the ground and found nothing. That was just a street rumor," the fox sighed.

"So why do you need me?" Jake asked again.

"There was a guy who owned this storage building and he died a few years ago," Nick answered as he parked the police cruiser next to several more police cars and trucks. "The city is putting it up for auction for unpaid property taxes and a couple of guys from the tax accessor's office came to check it out, they found something weird inside."

"Did they find Jimmy Hoofa?" Jake guessed.

"What they found was part of a note in the owner's desk which said that there was a letter about Hoofa inside the safe, but we found three safes," Fangmeyer said. "All are apparently locked and the safes are too thick to scan without drilling into them."

"Why not just cut them open and look inside?" the raccoon asked as he sat up. "Your CSI team can do that."

"They wanted to, but Bogo said no," Nick replied with a smile. "Orders from the mayor's office."

"Why not?"

"Simple, they are expensive antiques and he didn't want to destroy their value without you taking a crack at them first."

"Who knew that Bogo had such high regard for you?" Fangmeyer added.

"Three antique safes?" Jake excitedly called out as he grabbed his bag and jumped out of the cruiser into the rain. "Let's get going!"

Pushing past the CSI team, the raccoon rushed over and stared at one of the safes with a look that could mirror that of a kit in a candy shop. Nick could have sworn his friend was drooling. All three safes were in fairly good condition, with some rust but they could easily be restored to their former glory. "Have you done everything you need to do with the safes?" the raccoon finally asked. "Can I touch them?"

"Sure, go to town," Fangmeyer called over to him. The detective in the blue suit was looking at a notepad in his paws. "Just for the record, I bet the CSI team a round of drinks that you could open that safe in front of you. They seemed to think that even you couldn't do it."

The raccoon's ears drooped as he looked at the safe in front of him. It was tall, but unlike the other two which were rectangular, this one was round. "It's a cannonball safe, made from mangalloy, also called manganese steel, and it's stronger than regular steel or cast iron. Combined with its rounded shape, this makes it impossible to blow up with anything they had back when it was built in 1889 and its weight makes it too heavy to manually move it, I heard these things weigh over three thousand pounds," Jake began to explain as he stood on a stepstool and looked the safe over. "This one has duel time locks. Did you know that the most famous of these safes once foiled the famous bank robber Jaguar James when he and his gang tried to rob a bank during an 1876 heist? Let me see what I can do with the other two safes first and then I will come back to his one."

One by one, Jake managed to crack the other two safes without damaging them. They were filled with small amounts of cash and some old jewelry, but nothing of any importance. With a sigh, the raccoon pulled out his phone and made several calls as he stood in front of the last safe. Within half an hour, there were almost a dozen of the city's once most notorious safecrackers in the room. It was a motley assortment of retired criminal talent, all arguing and staring at the round safe. Most were shaking their heads as they looked it over.

"Are you telling me that none of you have ever successfully opened a safe like this before?" a voice boomed out as Chief Bogo entered the room and scowled down at the group. "Benny you've been cracking safes for over thirty years!"

"It can't be done Adrian," the formed burglar answered as the old fennec fox shook his head. "You can't open one of these like you could the others, you're gonna have to drill…"

"Ah guys!" a small tailless rat called out as he jumped up on the stool and looked at the safe.

"What is it Tails?" Jake asked as he watched his employee. The rat was not a safecracker, but a very talented former thief who now designed many of the gadgets which Jake's firm used.

"I hate to break it to all you so-called experts, but isn't this door like a big plug that goes into a cylinder and has to be completely rotated so the teeth are aligned before you open it?" the rat asked. He held his smartphone in his right paw and was comparing the safe in front of him to an image online.

"So what?" Benny sighed.

"Then I think this thing might be open and it's just rusted shut?" Tails answered.

It was indeed open and after applying plenty of grease, along with some very hard pulling, they got it open but the note with the location of Jimmy Hoofa was not found inside. The city sold the safe at auction and it now resides in Jake's warehouse as a reminder that no matter how good you think you are, there is always someone or something better.

* * *

 **The notorious labor union leader Jimmy Hoffa disappeared on July 30, 1975, and his body was never found.** **Hoffa's body was rumored to be buried in** **Giants Stadium** **.**

 **It was a cannonball safe that foiled the attempted robbery by Jesse James and the Cole Younger gang during their Great Northfield Minnesota Raid on September 14, 1876. The Head Bank Teller, Joseph Haywood, claimed he couldn't open the safe because it was still on a time lock and it cost him his life. After a shootout with the local townsfolk, Jessie James and the surviving outlaws fled leaving behind two of their gang dead and two of the town's citizens slain. Their take from the robbery was just over a mere twenty-six dollars.**

 **The priest who tried to kill Jake is from _Zootopia: A Raccoon's Revenge_. LePew was the mercenary skunk who kitnapped Fru Fru and then tried to kill Jake in Chapter 21 of _Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption._ The mobster Scarface tried to kill Jake and set him, Nick, and Al Catpone up for crimes they didn't commit in Chapter 29 of _Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption._**


	68. Something Goes Bump in the Night

**Chapter 68: Something Goes Bump in the Night**

* * *

 **Jake bought and rebuilt an old mansion in Happy Town which was once called Kennerly's Folly since it was reputably haunted and the family could never live there. The locals took to calling it Runnel's Folly after the raccoon acquired it, he and his family happily lived there for the remainder of his long life. It was ultimately inherited by his son Freddie.**

* * *

"GET YOUR TAIL INSIDE!" the raccoon growled as he tried to shove the larger red fox through the door of the refurbished old Victorian home. "There is nothing for you to be afraid of…you…you fraidy fox!"

Nick had desperately grabbed the frame of the doorway and was holding on for dear life, much to the amusement of both Marie and Judy who were standing in the inside hallway. "NO! NO! NO!" the fox in the dark blue police uniform actually whined out. "I've been inside this place twice and both times a ghost possessed my body!"

"That was my great, great Uncle Ezekiel and he left after I told him I had bought this place," Jake grunted as he tried to shove the fox further over the threshold. "He was only haunting this place because he was mad that the bank stole his land almost a hundred years ago so they could sell it to that rich wool baron Kennerly. Now that his land is back in the family, he has crossed over."

"HE POSSESSED ME!" Nick screamed. "His ghost was inside of my body and we were floating around in the air!"

"Come on Nick, it wasn't that bad! So you had a ghost in you for just a little while?"

"A little while? A little while? Have you ever been possessed by a ghost? I was possed by a ghost Jake and one of your ancestors too!"

"Uncle Zek didn't know I was family until we talked."

"You two had a conversation six feet off the ground and he was using my body...again!"

"Well, you do have to admit that the first time you and Fennick were breaking and entering..."

"I WAS JUST A KIT!"

"He didn' t hurt you either time. Besides he's gone and crossed over, so now it's safe for you to come inside the house."

"NO ONE CAN MAKE ME GO IN THERE AGAIN! NO WAY...NO HOW!"

The fox gave a loud "oooffff!" when a large white paw shoved him bodily into the house. He turned to find both Kevin and Raymond standing there, the large bears were grinning at him in amusement and so was the fashionably dressed female shrew in Raymond's paw.

"Really Nick, I've been in here dozens of times with the designers and no ghost has ever bothered me or anyone else," Fru Fru giggled as she watched the wide-eyed fox standing there with his tail tucked between his legs. "Come on and let me show you around the house."

"No thank you!" Nick almost whispered. He was now clutching to Judy as if his smaller wife could protect him from whatever was in there with him.

"Come on Slick," Judy chuckled as she grabbed his tie as if it was leash attached to a collar and began pulling him after her. "Stop dragging your footpaws or I'll ask Kevin to sling you over his shoulder and haul you bodily around the place."

Fru Fru guided the friends through each room in the house, it was all decorated much more conservatively then Jake, Judy, and Nick were expecting from the social butterfly turned mother and then an amateur interior designer. It was quite obvious that Marie was very involved in the decorating because it lacked some of Fru Fru's more flamboyant tastes. The house kept its quaint Victorian charm outside, but inside everything was electronically state of the art.

Both Nick and Jake's jaws dropped when Fru Fru had Raymond lead them into what she called the Billiards Room with its velvety green pool table and a long well-stocked mahogany bar. The fox stopped and looked at four paintings on the wall. One was of Jake's father Richard and then there were two other male raccoons and a female all of whom Nick didn't recognize. "That is my great, great grandfather Charles and my great, great grandmother Sarah," Jake said as he walked towards the paintings. "The male raccoon at the end over there is my great, great Uncle Ezekiel, you two kind of met earlier." Jake reached up and straightened that painting, for it was a tad lopsided.

"I swear his eyes are following me," Nick muttered as he looked at the painting. "But, I pictured him as being a lot scarier then he really is."

After several hours of socializing and playing pool, it was time for everyone to leave but Jake and Marie. Nick and Judy were spending the night at Nick's mother's apartment where she was keeping little Nicky and Freddie for the night. Scooping his wife up, Jake carried her back across the threshold and into the house again.

"Don't go and hurt yourself," Marie softly chided him.

"This is the first place I…no…we have ever owned and so my dear wife I intend to make love to you in every room of this house," he huskily said to her as he nuzzled her neck.

"Every room?" she giggled.

"Yes, starting in the Billiards Room where I'm going to introduce you to a game called strip pool."

"I don't think I've ever heard of that game bef…" she didn't finish because he passionately kissed her.

After a few moments, she opened her eyes and tilted her head with curiosity when she noticed the painting of Uncle Ezekiel was crooked again. "Sugar, I'm starting to think that Nick is right and that your uncle's eyes in that painting are following us," she whispered into his ear.

The male raccoon turned around and walked over to the painting to straighten it again. "He's gone Marie," he chuckled. "Long gone and we have the whole house to ourselves."

"Still…" she sighed as she looked at the painting.

Jake wordlessly walked over to the drawer and pulled out four oversized bar towels, hanging one over the eyes of each of the painting. "There!" he proclaimed. "Happy?"

"Strip pool?" the female raccoon said as she picked up a pool stick. "Y'all are making this up, aren't you, Sugar?"

"My dear wife, have I ever made up things before?" Jake snickered. The skeptical look Marie gave her husband conveyed her answer more than any mere words she could say.

An hour later, Jake yanked off the towels and flipped off the lights as he followed his wife up the stairs towards their bedroom.

In the dark, the painting of Uncle Ezekiel suddenly moved and went crooked again. After a few moments, the three nearby paintings also went askew but towards the direction of the other painting and then the painting of Uncle Ezekiel seemed to reluctantly straighten back up as if chastised by the others. Above them were the joyful sounds of two raccoons in love.

* * *

 **For Jake and Nick's first night in the house and their encounter with the raccoon's late Uncle Ezekiel, please read Chapter 42: House Shopping Raccoon Style in** _ **Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption**_ **.**

 **Yes, Nick did get over his fear of the house.**


	69. Subway

**Chapter 69: Subway**

* * *

 **What is Jake trying to get out of this time?**

* * *

Time always passes and so it does for Jake and his best friend Nick. The fox had finally gotten over his fear of the house and the four paintings of the raccoon's family members have been banished from the Billiard's Room to Jake's office where they now stare down at the raccoon as he works.

Both Nick and Judy have moved in next door to the fox's mother in one of the recently renovated apartments in downtown Happy Town, not too far from Jake's house. This was more convenient for Judy since her last promotion to the Fifth Precinct, but for Nick it was a long way for the fox to travel back downtown where the detective in training was still working. Once again he found himself aboard the crowded subway, this time Jake had joined him and this was something the raccoon had recently started doing for some reason.

"I swear that those eyes in my uncle's painting are staring at me when I'm in my office," Jake muttered to the fox as they were both jostled aside as a sow tried to squeeze past a large rhino. The raccoon frowned when he realized he was face to hind tail of the large gray construction worker's rear.

"At least that painting isn't where I can see it or it can see me!" Nick replied as he sipped his cup of coffee. "It still gives me the creeps."

"Why do you insist on buying Snarlbuck's coffee? There is a perfectly good state of the art coffee maker at my place."

"I just prefer the taste," Nick replied with a shrug. "Nothing against your fancy coffee machine, but I think their coffee is better."

"I can't tell the difference, but you can waste your money if you want to."

"You're a raccoon, I could give you watered down mud in a cup and you'd not know the difference."

"Hey, I've got really good taste buds!"

"Jake, you think the coffee at the Main Street Café is good!" Nick scoffed. "Anyone will tell you that it's the worse coffee in this whole city. I would not be surprised if they actually pride themselves on that too?"

"Well, I'd don't think it's that bad and neither did my pops. I remember when I was little watching his face as he relished his Saturday morning cup while he gossiped with his pals. Back then, I think he knew everyone in the joint. We ate there almost every weekend, Old Cookie used to make a smiley face with sliced bananas on the top of my pancakes."

The subway train slowed down at the next station and more animals shoved their way into the already crowded car. "OW!" Nick yipped as he clutched his tail into his arms. "Watch the tail buddy!"

"Look fox…" the rough-looking warthog who had stepped on his tail began to oink in anger until he saw the police badge attached to the belt of the fox in the blue business suit. He then blanched slightly and frowned as he silently looked away. Almost in a panic, he slowly began trying to push his way away from the fox.

"So tell me why we are crammed in here like sardines again?" Jake muttered to his friend. "We could have taken a cab."

"Talk about wasting money!" Nick chided him. "Besides, this is faster than sitting in traffic. By the way, when did you start commuting to your office every morning?"

"I have some work to do."

"Jake, we both know that Jimmy Ratzoli runs your company's daily business. So why don't you tell me the truth?"

"Toilet training!" the raccoon grumbled out.

"Wait, what?"

"Yes, you've heard me correctly! The boys are learning to use the potty."

"That is the real reason why you've been leaving your home at the crack of dawn? Coon, you need to parent up and not leave Marie to have to teach them that."

"They do go with her down the street to the Coyote Cultural Center every day," Jake objected. "Besides, it's only Nicky who needs training."

"You already taught Freddie?"

"No, he learned from his little friend Chery how to use the potty. I just can't get him to understand that as a male, he can stand up to pee since she can't." Jake noticed that the fox was only partially paying attention to what he was saying. "Is there something wrong?" he asked.

"I thought that warthog over there seemed familiar, so I looked him up on my phone and he has a warrant out for his arrest," Nick answered as he began to weave his way towards the larger animal. The fox pulled out his phone again and messaged dispatch for backup. Just then the train came to stop at the next station and the door opened. Frantically, the warthog shoved his way out of the subway car and began to run down the platform towards the stairs which led outside.

"POLICE!" Nick called out as he drew his tranquilizer gun from his shoulder holster and bolted after the criminal. Jake didn't even hesitate as he followed.

The warthog found his pathway blocked by a large elephant who was slowly stomping up the stairs in front of him. With a snarl, he tried to push the large female pachyderm aside.

"Put your paws on your head and lay down on the ground!" Nick ordered, but the warthog reached down and scooped up a small teen squirrel who was trying to scurry out of the way.

"He has a hostage!" Jake warned. But instead of holding onto the small squirrel, the criminal threw her bodily at the fox and Nick had to drop his weapon so he could catch the frightened teen. Even as he did so, Jake leaped past him and bound upon the larger boar's back. The raccoon had fought warthogs before when he was in jail and with an audible sounding whack, the raccoon drove his right elbow deeply into the bigger and stronger animal's neck causing the criminal to squeal out in pain as he staggered. Before he could strike again, Jake looked up to see that the large elephant now loomed over both of them and he lunged away just as her purse swung down and caught the warthog on his chin. The blow sent the boar stumbling down the stairs, only to sprawl muzzle first upon the subway's white tiled floor where he laid in a daze.

Jake ran down the stairs and jumped upon the criminal's back, pulling his hoofs behind his back. "Cuffs!" the raccoon yelled. Nick set the scared young squirrel down and snatched up his gun even as he reached for his pawcuffs and tossed them to Jake.

There was a clicking sound as the raccoon slapped them over the warthog's wrists.

"If I tell him his rights, would that count?" Jake joked. "I know them by heart since they were read to me enough in the past."

"No, but you can always try to be a cop if you want too!" Jake snickered as he holstered his gun. "But I doubt you could pass the physical and you've met Major Friedkin at the Police Academy. She would chew your scrawny tail up and spit it out."

"If you could do it, I can do it!" the raccoon boasted. "I would try except for the fact that I doubt the city could afford me, not with that measly salary they pay you!"


	70. Traceable

**Chapter 70: Traceable**

* * *

 **Sometimes you just can't hide.**

* * *

Whaaap! The bull's kick glanced along the red-furred police detective's shoulder and sent the much smaller fox in the dark blue pinstriped business suit stumbling in pain across the room and into the wall. Snorting, the angry mob enforcer turned to face the two uniformed cops and lowering his head, Maxie Feldstomper charged towards the smaller of the two officers, a tan furred jackal who dove out of his way. Instead of hitting his intended target, the bull's horns smashed into the blue impact plated vest that the beefy rhino standing behind the other officer wore.

Shaking his head, the fox named Nick Wilde tried to move his arm and draw his tranquilizer gun, he was fairly sure that his shoulder was out of joint. From the corner of his eye, he saw that the jackal had already drawn his gun but had hesitated shooting because the large rhino had already slammed his huge hoofs into the attacker. It was a classic one-two punch and the bull fell backward with a groan. With a grunt, the rhino named McHorn shoved the stunned bull's snout into the cold rough concrete floor of the warehouse as he yanked the criminal's hoofs behind his back and then slapped on a pair of cuffs. "That's how you do it shrimp!" the larger officer scoffed to the fox.

"I'm not a behemoth like you…" Nick tried to joke, but instead, he gave a short whine from the pain. Then remembering that he was a detective-in-training, he quickly added. "What I meant to say is thank you for catching the suspect and good job."

"Those on-line management courses are paying off fox, you're even starting to sound like a real detective," Officer Mbweha laughed as the jackal holstered his gun. Then looking back at the fox, he frowned. "Are you okay, Wilde?"

"My collarbone is really smarting," Nick tensely replied. "I'll have it looked at back at the station."

"Nope!" McHorn interjected. "We're going to swing by the hospital to drop you off, I'll come back to check on you after I make sure that Rudy down in processing finds a dank and dark cell to toss this sleaze bag into."

An hour later, Officer McHorn still hadn't returned as Nick sat waiting for his ride. His right arm was in a sling and he clutched a bag of medication in his paw, looking up he saw a familiar raccoon strolling into the room. "So the nurse says you dislocated your shoulder?" Jake called out as he stood looking down at his best friend. "They reset it, but it must have hurt like hell!"

"How did you get someone to tell you all of that, you're not family and they are not supposed to be telling you about my medical condition?" Nick asked with a slight smile. Then his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Jake, what did you do?"

"I pulled a hustle on the nurse, just like you taught me," the raccoon answered with a grin and a shrug of his shoulders. "I convinced her that I was with internal affairs and investigating a shifty fox cop. I guess you taught me too good, because she didn't even ask to see my badge." Then putting a digit to his muzzle he acted like he was pondering something before he added, "Or maybe you do look shifty after all?"

Nick sighed and shook his head. "The doc said it'll take a few weeks of limited mobility if I use ice, keep it in a sling, and go to physical therapy. At least that is what she ordered."

"But you're Zootopia's own self-proclaimed super cop. I'll bet that you were planning to go back to work, instead of taking a the rest of the day off like you are supposed to do? That is why I came to get you instead of McHorn or Mbweha, sometimes I think that all you cops are too stupid to use common sense."

"You mother me more than Judy. I'm a grown fox, older than you coon!"

"Of course I do, Nick!" Jake said as he sat down next to the fox. "Judy is just as bad as you are when it comes to working while hurt, just ignoring her pain and you would be fussing at her if she was the one hurt today. Speaking of which, why didn't you call your wife?"

"How did you know that I didn't?" Nick asked in surprise.

"I know you Nick, you didn't want to worry her at work," Jake scoffed. "If you had, she'd have come running and would have already been here with you."

"Now that she is a lead detective with the Fifth, she does have a lot more responsibly than she did when she was a sergeant downtown."

"Still you should have called her."

"Hey, just how did you know that I was hurt?" Nick asked as he sat up with a wince. "Someone at the station called you, was it Claws?"

"No, Clawhauser didn't call me! That high-security office complex across the road from the warehouse where you got hurt is under contract with my company," Jake answered. "My guys saw you on the cameras as you dragged yourself back to the car and called me because you looked hurt. Once they locked onto you, they kept watching your patrol car until it reached the hospital. The DOT's traffic cameras are now publicly online and so it wasn't that hard to electronically trail you."

"It's getting so that it is almost impossible to hide," Nick chuckled. "Carrots and I once used those cameras to track down where Mayor Lionheart was stashing the missing mammals, but we had to use Bellwether's computer."

"Now with all those doorbell and home wireless cameras around, it's harder to hide than before. Although I worry about someone like Jerry, who can hack almost every brand out there on the market today and some still in development. That little mouse is scary smart with all this high tech stuff and so I'm glad that he works for me and is no longer loose on the streets."

With a grunt, Nick stood up with Jake's assistance and let out an agitated sigh when he realized that the raccoon had picked his pocket when he helped him up. "Here, call your wife!" Jake commanded as he plopped the fox's cell phone into his paws. "You do it or I will!"

With another sigh, the fox made the call, "Hi Carrots, I kind of got hurt today…nothing major…no, Jake is here with me…no, there's no need for you to leave now…I'm just a little sore, that's all…sure, I love you too."

"There, that wasn't that hard, now was it?" the raccoon said with a smile. "Now come on, let's get you home."


	71. There's a Moral to this Story for us All

**Chapter 71: There's a Moral to this Story for us All.**

* * *

 **Jake Runnel tells his best friend Nick Wilde a story about his childhood and a lesson he learned. This is based on something that I read a long time ago and I wish I could remember who to credit for the inspiration.**

* * *

They sat across the table from each other, like they did every Friday morning when Nick wasn't working and sipped their coffee. "This has to be the world's worse coffee," the fox grumbled to the raccoon as he gave a grimace while he stared in disgust at the black liquid in his mug. "How can you drink this sludge?"

"Nick, it's just coffee," Jake sighed as he sat his mug down and looked around at the busy little restaurant which was the traditional heart of a once formally prosperous part of Zootopia that was called Happy Town. The Main Street Café was a survivor of better times and it had endured when all around it fell to rack and ruin. Upon the once white walls were old posters, some which had hung there since the last Great War which was almost seventy years ago. The white and black tile flooring had been patched numerous times and the colors did not quite match in their sheen. Scuffed chrome edged the long red and white tables and the high-top counter, these dated back to the late fifties. There was a unique, almost worn-out charm to the place which excluded permanence and even safety to many whose families had eaten their meals here over several generations. It was a place where locals gathered to celebrate or sometimes mourn and to just see friends and neighbors. Here you could find grandparents with their grandchildren, newlyweds, and widowers, for all found a friendly space within these walls and a sanctuary from a sometimes cruel world.

There were many more members of the prey species in the room that morning, a change from a place that in the past was almost exclusively predators. Now the younger middle class mingle with members of the poor working class and the social outcasts of society. The café, like the neighborhood, was changing. Gentrification is what the city planners like to call it, the unintended consequences of urban redevelopment policies that former Mayor Lionheart had begun. Where once gangs controlled the streets, now a collation between the police and community leaders held sway. This was mostly due to a large influx of coyotes who had moved into the neighborhood's tenements and apartments, drawn by a resurgence in both the manufacturing and shipping industries that had sprung up near the old mill town.

Time changes everything and it was changing Happy Town for the better.

Jake gave a smile as he looked at the coffee in his own mug before he continued, "Maybe I like this coffee because my father did? I spent many a Saturday morning here with my pop while listened to him talk and joke with his buddies. Pops seemed to know just about everyone who ate here, but now I just know a few." The raccoon sighed and leaned back against the back of the booth's bench. "Do you remember Cookie?"

"Yeah, he was the old black bear who ran the grill," Nick replied as memories of his eating here with his grandfather came to mind. "He made the best potato and turkey hash."

"He used to make a smiley face with sliced bananas on my pancakes when I was a kit." Jake chuckled. "When I was in college, I came here one morning and was feeling very sorry for myself. I felt that one of the professors was being unfair to me because I was a raccoon, that he was being prejudiced and it made me angry. It seemed that no matter what I did, I couldn't please him and he picked on me."

Nick sat back and just listened as Jake continued. "Cookie looked down at me and just shook his head before he told me to get off my tail and follow him over to the grill where he filled three pots of water before he put them over the flames. When they began to boil, he dropped a potato in the first one, an egg in the second, and then a paw full of coffee in the other. I had no idea what he was doing and began to impatiently complain, but he just told me to shut up and wait. After a few minutes, he took the potato and the egg and placed them on a plate and poured some of the coffee into a cup. He then stood back as he gestured towards them and asked me what I saw."

Jake stopped as sipped from his mug before he continued. "I told him that I saw a potato, an egg, and coffee, for that was what was in front of me. Cookie just gave me a thin smile and told me to look closer, to touch the potato and it was soft. Then he told to break the egg, which was hard-boiled. Finally, he told me to sip the coffee. I still didn't understand what he was doing? Think about it, he growled as he continued to point out that the three had faced the same adversary, which was the boiling water. The hard potato had become soft, the fragile egg became hard, but the coffee grounds, they became something totally new. Then he just gave me a shrug of his massive shoulders and asked me which one I was going to become?"

Nick looked over at his own mug of coffee that he had set aside. "So what he taught you was that when things happen in life we have three choices," the fox said. "First we can become soft and give in to our fears or to the feeling of helplessness. Second, we can become hard and angry, ready to blame others for our bitterness. I did that until I met Carrots. Finally, we realize that life is about learning to change, adapt, and making something positive out of the challenges which come our way."

"Bingo!" Jake laughed. "I just wished I had listened to him more, I should have remembered that advice after my father died. As for the coffee, why don't you ask Mabel for some blueberry syrup to sweeten it with, I know how you like your blueberries?"

And that was the way Nick drank his coffee from that day forth.

* * *

 **I'm hoping this little story helps you, readers, with dealing with the stress that you may be facing in your life, whether it has to do with COVID-19, a family member, not being with your friends, or any other circumstances. Remember that you too have three choices which one will you pick? Be strong and stay healthy.**


	72. A Stupid Crook

**Chapter 72: A Stupid Crook**

* * *

 **Two friends play pool and chill out. Nick tells Jake about a unique arrest.**

* * *

"You're cheating again!" Jake snapped at Nick as the raccoon watched while the fox lined up his shot on the pool table. "There is a mirror above the bar and I saw you do it, so don't pretend that you didn't move the cue ball again." The mirror was long and encased in a brass frame, it hung over a mahogany bar in the Billiards Room of the remodeled Victorian house which the raccoon called home.

"It was necessary for me to move it slightly to the right for medical reasons," the fox answered back with a smirk.

"Medical reasons?" the raccoon snickered. "Oh, I can't wait for you to explain what possible medical reason you had for moving the ball?"

"I didn't want you to have a stroke when I make this shot!" Nick said with a straight face. "I know how competitive you are about playing pool and so I'm doing it for your own heath."

"You're losing your touch, that wasn't even a good attempt at hustling me."

"No seriously, I did it for medical reasons…"

"Aw come on, cut it out, and put the ball back where it was."

"Physics, you just don't understand physics either. If an object is moving from point A towards point B at, let's say…"

"Nick, seriously! Put the ball back where it belongs."

"Okay, it's your funeral," Nick mockingly sighed as he put the ball back to the left and took his shot. The cue ball rolled down the green-colored baize and hit the stripped ball he was aiming at with a cracking sound before that ball bounced off the table's railing and soared into a nearby pocket. "See physics!"

The raccoon shook his head at the triumphant looking fox before he answered, "That was pure luck."

"No, it was skill!"

"Sure it was, then prove it by making that shot again."

"Nope, I can only do one miracle per game," Nick chuckled as he lined up his next shot, which he missed. "Oopsie!"

"How is the conference going downtown?" Jake asked as he lined up his own shot. "As a retired burglar, the very thought of a nationwide gathering of police detectives over at the civic center gives me nightmares."

"We had a bit of excitement today," Nick replied as he paused while rubbing a cube of blue chalk onto the end of this pool stick. "It seems a purse snatcher grabbed an old lady's bag at the train station and made a break for it."

"Did you see him do it and give chase?"

"Nope, the transit officers did and the perp ran into the civic center trying to get away from them. You should have seen that idiotic cougar's face when he barged into a room full of a couple of hundred plainclothes cops! There were badges flashing everywhere."

"Did he try to put up a fight or anything?"

"Nope he was so shocked that he dropped the purse and started crying just like a kitten who got his paws caught in the cookie jar. I tried not to laugh while I slapped on the cuffs."

"How did Judy's speech go?" Jake asked as he took his shot and frowned because the ball just missed the pocket.

"Pfft, I didn't get to hear it because I had to haul the purse snatcher back to the station," Nick answered as he took his shot and sank yet another ball.

"Well if you would like, I can quote the whole thing to you from memory," Jake offered. "I don't know how many times Judy read it to me and Marie? She was really worried and wanted to get it perfect."

"That's okay, she did the same thing to me too," Nick laughed as he watched the raccoon take his shot. "But, thank you for letting her practice with you too."

"That is what friends are for," the raccoon replied and then cursed when he missed his shot.


	73. Mother-in-Laws

**Chapter 73: Mother-in-Laws**

* * *

 **A bit of humor just to cheer up your day, unless you're a mother-in-law.**

* * *

It was a dull-looking Friday morning, the dark gray clouds threatened rain and there was a chill wind blowing from the West. Jake and Nick were sitting in their usual booth at the Main Street Café in Happy Town and drinking their coffee when they overheard two lions in a nearby booth talking. One of the lions was telling the other a joke.

"So there were two lionesses who came before wise King Mufasa, dragging between them a young male. "This scoundrel agreed to marry my daughter after he seduced her," snarled one of the females.

"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," the other snapped back. And so they haggled before the king until finally he raised his paw and demanded silence.

"Bring me my mightiest sword," the king called out, "I shall hew this young male in twain and each of you shalt receive a half."

"Sounds good to me," snarled the first lioness.

But the other lioness suddenly cried out, "No Sire, do not spill innocent blood! Let her daughter marry him instead."

The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "This lion must marry the first lioness's daughter," he proclaimed.

"But she was willing to let you cut him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.

"Indeed," said the wise king. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law!"

Jake laughed and gave Nick a grin. "I remember that you told me that when you asked Stu for Judy's paw in marriage, that they had to hide the fox tasers first. I've just realized you never told me how Bonnie took the news."

"Well as you well know, she is the less emotional and more practical of the two," Nick replied before he set his mug of coffee down and poked at his plate of scrambled eggs with his fork. "She and I ran into each other very early the next morning and she was looking rather frazzled because it seemed that several of the kits in the warren were sick with a cold. She stared me in the eyes and said something about how Judy could never have children by me."

"That was a bit hash."

"As I said, she was tired and grumpy. Anyways, I told her that we both knew that."

"What was her reaction? She and Stu have a huge family."

"Well, several of the sick children began crying for her and as she passed by, I swear that she muttered something like Judy has always been the lucky one."

The raccoon choked on his sip of coffee.

* * *

 **This is modified from an old story once published in a Reader's Digest I once read years ago and is based on the famous biblical tale of wise King Solomon and the baby.**


	74. Momma Mia! (Mother's Day)

**Chapter 74: Momma Mia! (Mother's Day)**

* * *

 **Jake decides that he and the boys will cook Mother's Day dinner for Marie.**

* * *

Jake rubbed the back of his neck as he gave a yawn. It had been a long Monday for the raccoon and he was glad to be home. "Well, how did it go?" Nick asked as he pulled up next to the sidewalk in his unmarked police car.

"Well, Tails reworked the…" Jake began to answer as he loosened his tie. They were in front of the old Victorian house which the locals had dubbed Runnel's Folly after its owner and the amount of money that the raccoon had poured into the once derelict building. It had been rebuilt to highlight its former charming glory, although it was much more modern inside.

"No, last night's dinner!" the fox laughed as he parked the car and hopped out. Walking around the back of the black nondescript car he asked, "Didn't you and the boys cook Marie dinner last night for Mother's Day?"

"We did."

"Come on, weren't you going to cook some fancy scallops dish?"

"It was pan-seared scallops on a bed of greens and asparagus with a garlic butter sauce."

"Well, how was it?"

"The scallops were delicious, of course," the raccoon boasted as he unlatched the fence gate. "Were you expecting anything less?"

"Well, considering you don't know how to cook…well, yes."

"Your lack of confidence in my culinary talents wounds me fox."

"Jake, you once exploded a dozen eggs in a microwave."

"How was I supposed to know they wouldn't hard boil that way?"

"You might have tried looking up how to boil an egg online, boiling does mean in a liquid. Besides, you even left them in their container too," Nick snickered. "So the dinner went…"

"Uncle Nick!" Freddie yelled as the young raccoon bound off the house's pouch and excitedly ran into the fox's arms.

"Sure, son give your uncle a great big hug and not your old dad," Jake good naturedly muttered while he grinned at the little gray and black bundle of fur in his best friend's arms.

"What do you have there?" Nick asked as he looked at a plastic badge in the young raccoon's paws.

"It's a firemammal's badge!" Freddie exclaimed as he held it up so the fox could see it. "We got it last night when…"

"When we went to the fire station," Jake quickly interjected, he was suddenly looking uncomfortable and Nick's ears flicked for he could usually tell when the raccoon was lying. "Don't you have homework to do or something? Don't first graders have homework? Now leave Uncle Nick alone and go do your homework!"

"No Poppa, they came here!" Freddie corrected his father. "Don't you remember that you caught the kitchen on fire?"

"Jake?" Nick asked with a knowing smirk.

"It was just a little grease fire," the older raccoon said as he tried to give a casual shrug.

"There was fire everywhere and then Poppa poured water on the fire and it got bigger!" Freddie excitedly said. "It was scary and Poppa said some really bad words too."

"Really bad words, huh?" the fox snickered softly as he looked over at the older raccoon, whose ears were now flattened on his head.

"Then the fire truck came with their lights and sirens going," Freddie added. 'It was neat!"

"Really, I had to work last night and so I missed all the fun," Nick laughed as he continued looking at the older raccoon.

"Mommy is going to get a new stove for Mommy's Day since Poppa burned up the one we had."

The fox put down the now squirming raccoon kit, who happily skipped back into the house. "I thought you said that you had scallops?" he asked the older raccoon who was still standing there.

"We did, they were on the seafood pizza I ordered from Luigi's Pizzeria," Jake answered in a somewhat embarrassed tone. "As I said, the scallops were delicious. I didn't say that I cooked them, did I?"

"Details coon!" the fox laughed as he ruffled the fur between the raccoon's ears. " I can always tell when you're lying."

"I didn't lie," Jake objected. "I just omitted some things."

"You're starting to sound like a politician now."

"Bite your tongue fox, could you imagine me in politics?"

"The thought of that will keep me awake with worry tonight."

"Har… har…Not funny fox!"

"Come on and show me the mess you made," Nick laughed as he led the raccoon towards the house.


	75. As Thick as Thieves

**Chapter 75: As Thick as Thieves.**

* * *

 **Jake has a party until an uninvited guest shows up and says the wrong word.**

* * *

"It's a regular rogue's gallery in here tonight", Marie commented to Jimmy Ratzolli as the raccoon and the rat looked at the assortment of retired burglars which her husband had gathered at their house. Most of the guests who were drinking and talking could be called "long in the tooth", as the coyotes would describe them. The group of raccoons, foxes, and cats had plenty of gray and white fur on their muzzles showing their age.

"Jake likes to keep friendly relations with the supposedly retired professional burglar community," Jimmy explained. "That way they respect him and usually help steer others away from our clients. These guys may no longer be in what we call The Business, but they are the still icons to the current generation."

"That's reassuring," the female raccoon replied. "Maybe I should go hide my grandma's silver?"

"That would be a waste of time," the rat laughed. "If anyone here wanted it, they would find it and you wouldn't know it was gone until it was too late."

Her ears flicked while she heard a fennec fox tell about breaking into a business. After he had opened the safe, he was preparing to leave with a sack full of illicit cash when he saw a sign on the hot water heater in the utility closet. "It said it was out of service," the small fox said with a grin. "I paused before I shimmied up into the heating ductworks to leave and fixed the problem."

"Come on Benny, you're now a plumber?" Jake laughed at the ginning fox. "Just what do you know about hot water heaters?"

"Apparently more than their plumber knew," the fox snickered back. "After the cops caught me, the store's manager wanted to know what I did to fix it. You see they had hired several plumbers, but they didn't seem to figure out the problem. The employees were complaining about no hot water in their kitchenette, so the company finally had agreed to replace the heater later that year. All I did was looked at the tank and saw that the switch was in the off position, so I flicked it on. Unfortunately, they found my paw print on the switch and that's how the cops caught me."

"No good deed goes unpunished," a small black-furred tomcat snickered.

"You got it, Sammy! Especially since a plumber would've charged them a lot more to replace the water heater than what I stole," the fox dramatically sighed out to the amusement of the others.

"Hey Runnel," an elderly raccoon called out as he paused from taking his shot at the pool table. "Was that you who dressed up to look like Sly Cooper?"

"The video game guy?" Benny asked. "Why'd anyone do that?"

"Some coon dressed like Sly Cooper robbed dirty old Sal's place and boy that old ram was plenty pissed off too," the other raccoon began to explain. "He was running all over town flashing a photo of a raccoon and asking about Sly Cooper, everyone thought he was nuts."

"Didn't the cops catch Sal with a sack full of contraband diamonds right after that?" the cat asked. "Pete, back when I was still in jail, I heard something about some diamonds being found by Detective Oates in an old safe hidden under the house in a probation era smuggler's tunnel."

"Come on coon, fess up!" Pete challenged the younger raccoon.

With a sigh, Jake looked at the ground with a grin. "I'm not saying it was me, but I'm not saying it wasn't."

"Why didn't ya just keep the diamonds?" Sammy asked.

"You know that there was nowhere for him to pawn those stones," the older raccoon answered. "Jake couldn't have dumped them, not even the city's mobs would move them."

"I didn't take them for that reason," Jake confessed. "Look, I've given up the business as all of you well know."

"Then why?" the cat asked. All eyes were on the younger raccoon, including Marie's.

"They were blood diamonds," Jake sadly explained. "Grubbed from the ground by poor prey mammals who were being treated like slaves over in the Western Cape Republic. I was dating a refugee from there…"

"We know you were running with that insurance investigator during that time, what was that cute cape jackal's nickname?" Pete interjected.

"Diamonds, they called her Diamonds" Jake answered. "Her real name was Melinda Velt, she got her nickname because she would track down illegal blood diamonds and then give the reward for their recovery to the charities who took care of the refugees."

"So, ya took them, but then why did ya turned around and put them back?" Sammy asked. The cat's tail was flicking with curiosity.

"Since there was no way that she could explain how she got the diamonds, I broke back into Sal's place and returned the stones to the safe," Jake answered. "Then Diamonds called the cops."

"Did she get the reward?" Benny asked as he poured himself a refill at the bar.

"Nope," the younger raccoon said with a sad smile. "The new Western Cape Republic government claimed them as stolen property, she got shafted."

"That's not where it ended," Jimmy interjected as the rat walked into the room. "Someone stole them soon after they were returned and the diamonds were never seen again."

"Hey don't look at me!" Jake protested as he held his paws up. "I have no idea what happened to them? But as far as I know, they never came back onto the market."

"A waste," Benny sighed. "But they seemed cursed."

"So gentlemammals, they say confession is good for the soul," a very familiar voice interjected. The retired burglars turned to see a slim red fox in a blue sports jacket and a pair of khaki dress slacks leaning against the door jam. There was a shiny silver police detective's badge attached to his belt. "Does anyone here want to confess about a few unsolved crimes?"

"Damn, Wilde is here," Sammy scoffed. "What are you doing here?"

"He now lives next door…" Jake began to explain, but his words were cut off by the fox.

"It's a raid!" Nick said with a smirk. Everyone but Jake and Marie seemed to tense up when he said those words. Then walking into the room, the fox nonchalantly added, "Yep, I am going to raid Jake's bar."

After he poured himself a drink, he turned around only to realize that the room was now empty except for Jake, Marie, and Jimmy. "Where'd everyone go?" he asked in confusion.

"Way to ruin a party," Jake grumbled in anger. Outside there were the sounds of cars roaring away into the night. "You said the word raid and they all made a run for it."

"Old habits die hard," Jimmy added with a shrug of his shoulders.

Marie just shook her head in disbelief.

"Oops?" Nick just said as he cringed at the looks that the others were giving him. "Sorry?"

* * *

 **The story of Jake and the blood diamonds is from** ** _Zootopia: A Raccoon's Redemption - Sins of Our Fathers_** **. Raymond and Kevin dumped the stones into one of the few ice free rivers in Tundratown at the orders of Mister Big who felt they had brought too much pain and suffering to be sold.**


	76. Things Children Say

**Chapter 76: Things Children Say**

* * *

 **Robert Young always used to have something wise to tell his children in that old television show called** ** _Father Knows Best_** **, but Jake Runnel is no Robert Young.**

* * *

"POP!" the whinny cry that Nicky gave caused his father Jake to stop pulling the weeds in the garden and look over at the young raccoon standing on the patio outside of the old Victorian house they called home. His oldest son was acting like something terrible had just happened, but Jake knew that he was only being overly dramatic again. The sun was shining down from the crystal clear sky above and the birds happily sang in the nearby persimmon trees, which were gifts from his father-in-law who was a farmer. Persimmons and sweet corn were the raccoon's two favorite foods and so he found room for both of them in his ever-expanding garden. The city coon had even boasted that he had a farmden, a small urban farm, much to the amusement of his country born wife.

"What's the problem?" the older raccoon grunted as he slowly stood up and wiped his paws on his work jeans. "Is everything all right?"

"It's Uncle Nick," the younger raccoon complained in that same aggravatingly whinny tone. "He's being embarisingitingly."

"Embarisingitingly, is not a word. Spit it out son, what is Uncle Nick doing now?"

"Billy and Cheri are here and Uncle Nick is doing IT again!"

"Billy and Cheri are always here," Jake scoffed as he picked up the bucket of weeds and carried it over to dump them into the compost bin before he calmly walked over to the tea house and put the bucket down. The oriental tea house was quite a contrast to the nearby Victorian house and although it was modern, it still embraced much of the traditional sukiya style architecture which was popular with the red pandas of the city's Little Amir neighborhood. The roof was made from red tiles which swept upwards at the corners and the lattice walls were covered in a translucent white paper. It was modeled after a tea house where he spent many days during his college years learning how to meditate under the tutelage of an elderly red panda he called "Grandfather." He failed of course in finding his calming "inner soul", mostly because he only submitted to the lessons so he could be closer to his mentor's sexy granddaughter Sonya, with whom he thought he was in love with at that time.

Satisfied that everything was in its proper place, he finally followed his son back into the house. A familiar voice could be heard in the kitchen. "You three should know that I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got sacked because I took a couple of days off." There was the sound of paws mimicking a drum roll on the counter and then silence. "You didn't like that joke? Okay, try this one! Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up." Nick's laugh made the older raccoon smile for Nicky was right and the fox was at IT again, telling the children what Judy had once dubbed "corny foxy jokes."

Jake shook his head when he saw that the fox had pulled out a loaf of bread and the makings for everyone's lunch. Sliced fresh tomatoes and lettuce from the garden, along with a container of chicken salad, were on the counter in front of the fox. "Why are you torturing these poor kits again with your warped sense of humor?" the raccoon softly chuckled. His youngest son Freddie was sitting at the table next to Cheri, who had her paws pressed to her ears but the young coyfox wasn't renowned for her sense of humor. Sitting nearby was Billy and the skinny coyote was actually enjoying the fox's antics.

"Hey, buddy! Do you know how a penguin builds its house?" Nick greeted his best friend. "Igloos it together."

"Penguins don't build igloos?" Cheri began to say in a confused tone and then the coyfox smiled before she added. "Oh, he igloos it together, now I get it."

"Then keep it to yourself, stupid," Nicky snapped in annoyance as he took a seat next to the coyote.

"Don't be such a D**khead!" Billy laughed as he punched his best friend Nicky on the arm.

"Billy! Jake called out in shock. "Where did you hear such language? That wasn't a nice thing to say."

The coyote looked at the older raccoon in surprise. "Sorry Mister Runnel, I heard some of the older pups calling each other that on the playground."

"Well, that isn't something you should call anyone," Jake replied. "Especially with a girl around."

"Why, is it because Nicky, Freddie, and Billy have something I don't have?" Cheri asked as she looked up at the older raccoon in confusion. "All boys do, don't they?"

Jake saw from the corner of his eye that the fox was trying his best not to burst out laughing at his apparent discomfort. Not knowing what else to do, the raccoon just said, "What do you call a can of soup that eats other cans of soup? A CANnibal."

"POP!" Nicky groaned out as he watched his father beat a fast retreat out of the house and back into the relative safety of the garden.

* * *

 **I borrowed the word farmden from the online gardener and writer Lee Reich. He describes a farmden as being "more than a garden, less than a farm."**


	77. Scout's Honor

**Chapter 77: Scout's Honor**

* * *

 **Nick has to clean up another one of Jake's mistakes, but isn't that what best friends do?**

* * *

"What do you mean they turned you down?" Nick snickered while he watched the raccoon standing before the brand new stove, Jake was frying a pan of crickets for a snack. "The Junior Ranger Scouts are always desperate for adult leaders!"

The raccoon stopped stirring with the wooden spoon and looked over at the fox who was standing there in his police dress uniform. "The recruiter at the school pulled me aside and said that I had an undesirable reputation," Jake finally answered and his voice's tone indicated that he was somewhat embarrassed. "They didn't think I was good leadership material since I have a criminal record."

"An undesirable reputation!" the fox started laughing. "Well so much for pretending that you are one of our community leaders."

"Hey, I'm considered one of this neighborhood's most outstanding citizens! I sit on the local coyote tribe's council as an elder and I'm a successful businessmammal."

"Maybe, but we are talking about Happy Town," Nick snickered yet again. "Where are they going to find someone around here that hasn't been arrested a time or two?" The raccoon looked up and gave him the raspberry with his pink tongue. "That was so mature, Runnel. Besides you're too much of a city coon, what could you teach a bunch of scouts about the great outdoors?"

"Hey, I know a thing or two!" Jake protested as he removed the pan from the burner.

"Now listen up scouts while I teach you how to pick a pair of pawcuffs," Nick tried to mimic Jake's voice. "After that, I going to teach you how to bust open a wall safe!"

"Bite me fox!" the raccoon scoffed as he poured the now fried insects into a large bowl and sprinkled salt over them. "I should have told them that you'd do the job."

"Meh, you know that the Junior Ranger Scouts and Nick Wilde haven't had the best history together," Nick sighed as he took a seat at the kitchen table. "Imagine me as a scout leader?"

"Yeah, that is a scary thought," the raccoon chuckled as plopped down in another chair at the table and passed the bowl over to the fox. He had already picked up a couple of the toasted crickets from the bowl and thoughtfully munched on them before he continued. "I guess I was disappointed in what they told me because I was wondering what I would look like in that tan uniform? You know I didn't join the scouts as a kit because I was somewhat of a bookworm in school. Speaking of uniforms, just why are you dressed up in that outfit? I thought that all you detectives wore suits or plain street clothes? "

"Carrots got another commendation today, so I had to play dress up for the ceremony."

"I didn't hear that she was going to get one? If I had known, I would have come and watched."

"You know Judy has a wall full of them already, what's one more?"

"Did she get it for capturing that gang of smugglers?"

"Yep, I did the leg work on that one and she led the team," Nick sighed as he munched on another pawful of crickets. "As the task force leader, she got all the glory and I only got another pat on the back from Bogo instead."

"Aw, widdle Nicky is jealous of a girl!" Jake said in a babyish manner. "Poor widdle foxie."

"Shut up coon," Nick chuckled as he flicked a cricket at the raccoon. "Why don't you just do something useful and get me a beer?"

* * *

Several months later the raccoon looked dejected as he sat on the steps in front of his house. The fox stood there wearing a white dress shirt and a pair of gray slacks, there was a gun harness across his left shoulder with a tranquilizer gun in its holster and his police badge was hung on his belt. "How the hell did you burn down a one-hundred-year-old scout camp?" Nick asked as he shook his head in bewilderment.

"I…we didn't burn down the whole camp," Jake sadly muttered. "It was only parts of the old lodge."

"I heard that it was the lodge, two nearby campsites along with a stand of trees, some of the grass on the parade field, and the flagpole too. Just what were you two thinking?"

"Well it was our first family campout and I wanted to tell the scouts a scary story."

"Telling them a scary story is one thing, but pyrotechnics? I was told that there were flames, explosions, and then more flames!"

"I thought Tails had it under control?" the raccoon sighed yet again. Nick thought that his best friend was going to cry. "Had it under control…" Jake just softly muttered.

"So what did they say?" the fox asked after he sat down on the step next to Jake, his paw gently ruffled the fur between his best friend's ears.

"Our family has been thrown out of the program even though I agreed to pay for the repairs."

"They banished the boys too? That wasn't very fair."

"Their scout leader quit afterward. No scout leader, no troop."

Nick looked out at the church across the street with a determined look. "Damn scouts…" he growled.

* * *

It was two weeks later when Jake paused at the gate leading up the walkway and into his house. The tired raccoon was standing there in his blue business suit with his briefcase in his right paw and he had hesitated because he had heard the joyful sounds of both of his sons laughing with excitement. "Come on scouts, we are going to be late if we don't leave now!" a familiar voice called out and the front door burst open as both Nicky and Freddie charged outside in their scout uniforms.

Jake stared in shock when a fox dressed in a tan scout leader's uniform shirt, with a red cotton neckerchief around his neck, followed. "Nick?" he stammered out in surprise.

"The boys needed a scout leader and I didn't want to let them down," Nick said with a grin as he gave a shrug of his shoulders. "I figured if I can handle murderers, rapists, and this city's other lowlifes, that I can handle a group of scouts."


End file.
